How Presidential Is Trump Right Now, On A Scale Of One To 'STFU, Dana Bash'?

Donald Trump is very serious about coronavirus now, didn't you hear? The news says he is president now, or at least some impressionable minds in the media are saying that:

Oh Dana Bash, stop it, Jesus Christ.

For God's sake, right there, in that quote Dana Bash said, she acknowledges that Trump's purported growth has only been "at least in tone," and that it's been going on for the portion of Trump's over-three-year-old presidency that encompasses yesterday and today. Why does our media never learn anything? Why? Why? Whywhywhythefuckwhy?

Anyway, Trump, when the TV cameras are not on him, is still being his usual self when it comes to (Democratic) governors who are making him look bad, by doing the job he is supposed to be doing in fighting coronavirus. And by "usual self," we mean he's being very presidential, because today is the day Donald Trump became president, obviously, isn't that right, Dana Bash?

Last week, Trump called Washington Governor Jay Inslee a "snake," while speaking at the Centers for Disease Control, because Inslee criticized the Trump administration's (very bad) handling of the crisis by (very meanly) tweeting that maybe the Trump administration should listen to some science. Of course, before New York became the epicenter of coronavirus in America, Washington was the epicenter of coronavirus in America.

This morning, Trump was having very presidential executive Twitter Potty Time, and decided to go off on Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer:

What did she do that upset him so? She went on MSNBC and said Trump hadn't taken coronavirus "seriously early enough." FIGHTIN' WORDS!

Whitmer quickly responded:

And then of course there's been Trump's ongoing fight with New York Governor Andrew Cuomo, whose pressers the news has been showing like he's the president of the United States or something, maybe because it's nice to see somebody act presidential on the TV once in a while. In the past several days, Cuomo has coordinated a plan with the neighboring states to create a uniform response to coronavirus, and he's clearly working hard for his people.

And that's just makin' Trump look BAD.

Here's one of Trump's very presidential tweets at Cuomo, with a dash of racism thrown in, because it's just killing Republicans that using coronavirus as an excuse for racism toward Asian people is generally frowned upon:

Golly, even though we can trust pretty much none of the coronavirus numbers in America right now, because of how the Trump administration botched and ignored testing for literally months, we cannot figure out why New York might be a "hotspot," whereas West Virginia hasn't yet found a case. It is a mystery wrapped in a conundrum!

Is it that GOP West Virginia Governor Jim Justice is just so good at this? Trump thinks so. "Big Jim, the governor there, he must be doing a good job," is a thing Donald Trump said today.

Or could it be ... no offense to any beloved West Virginia Wonkers, including Jamie who writes for Wonkette ... that, um, how to say this, um, well, West Virginia sucks and nobody goes there unless they have to pee while driving from Pennsylvania to Virginia and they just can't hold it so they pee on West Virginia?

We are just saying. Oh, also the "no tests."

Anyway, Trump's fight with Cuomo has been going and going, but when Trump goes in public for one of his Tank-The-Markets Corona-Pressers, he makes nice. At today's event, he said he talked to Cuomo on the phone this morning, and he complimented them both (himself and Cuomo) for "doing a really good job." He did not apologize to Gretchen Whitmer, but rather said why he is required by law to be a sniveling shitbaby at Gretchen Whitmer on Twitter:

"I only do that when I have to respond," the president said in response to a question about his criticism of Whitmer and other high profile Democrats. "She said that will something that was false, and therefore I did do that, and I will continue to do that. If they're not going to play fair because, you know, they have the media on their side. I don't. I just have me. And if they are not going to play fair, I'm going to do that. If they are going to play fair, there's going to be nobody better than Donald Trump in terms of bipartisanship."

Fuck off.

As for the rest of the president's behavior, it was widely reported that Trump told the governors in a conference call that maybe they should try to get some respirators and ventilators for themselves, but Trump said today that the fake news media just totally misinterpreted that. He claims he was just saying if they can get it faster than he can, then they should get some! Which ... maybe we are willing to believe him on that one, just because we know how he speaks and sometimes Beltway reporters are a bit obtuse about these things.

Otherwise the presidential president from President Town has been on Twitter RT-ing other governors, mostly Republicans, because we guess they are being nice to him, unlike these other governors with their whining about GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER and PEOPLE ARE DYING, pffffffft, Trump needs to go play golf now probably, the end.



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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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