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Dang! Things Don't Seem To Be Going Too Well For Aunt Becky And Her Family Of Grifters

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It's been a hell of a week, so let's take a break from all the sheer horror for a minute of SHOOT IT DIRECTLY INTO MY VEINS schadenfreude coming from the fallout of the college cheating scandal, shall we?

Since the fallout from Operation VARSITY BLUES, it seems like just about everything has been falling apart for everyone involved, and not just because they might all go to jail. Target is all "Uh, we stopped carrying his shit a year ago, and stopped having a working relationship with him over a decade ago, don't look at us!" about Mossimo Giannulli. Additionally, it turns out that Giannulli is a vocal Trump supporter who is known to complain about poor people not "carrying their own weight.

Lori Loughlin herself has gotten the boot from both Hallmark and Fuller House. Loughlin was apparently a regular on some Hallmark show I've never heard of and also starred in a series of Hallmark movies called "Garage Sale Mysteries." Netflix told The Hollywood Reporter on Friday that it had "no plans" to keep Aunt Becky around either. However will San Francisco wake up?


In case you were starting to feel some pity for her, the courtroom sketch artist from her court appearance said that Loughlin, in contrast to Felicity Huffman who looked appropriately ashamed, was pointedly arrogant in her demeanor.

The Fuller House actress (also commonly referred to as her character's name Aunt Becky) had her arms crossed — and they stayed that way the whole time she was in court. "Kind of a defensive deflection like: Don't touch me. What am I doing here? Where are my people? When am I getting out? It was so defiant," says the freelance artist, who regularly covers court cases, often for ABC News. "Loughlin came off, and I think it showed in my drawings, a little arrogant. An illustrator can bring that out maybe more than a camera. However, I wasn't being subjective. I was just drawing what I saw." She adds: "The way people stand, their body language, their attitude — it all plays a part in an illustration."

Things are not going very well for Olivia Jade Giannulli, Loughlin and Giannulli's "influencer" daughter. Just a few weeks ago, Olivia Jade was on top of the world, sort of. She was a rich kid getting even more rich by being "Instagram famous," reeling in sponsorships from Amazon, Sephora, Smashbox, Too Faced Cosmetics, TRESemmé, Dolce and Gabbana, Marc Jacobs, etc. etc. She regularly posted "spon-con" from her dorm room, but also talked a whole bunch about how she didn't even want to go to school and just wanted to party. And make videos.

Here is one such video she made about all the luxury items her parents bought her for Christmas.

(LUXURY) WHAT I GOT FOR CHRISTMAS 2018 l Olivia Jade www.youtube.com

I might have felt badly about picking on a young woman for something her parents did... but are you kidding me with this shit? I cannot believe this is a thing. It's pure sociopathy. "Hey, look at me, poor people! I have rich parents who buy me luxury items for Christmas!" I am a full on adult and if I did something like this, my parents to this day would kill me and then take all said Christmas presents in order to donate them to someone less terrible.

So far, she's been dropped by Sephora, Estée Lauder (which owns Smashbox and Too Faced) and TRESemmé. According to a report from The Cut, "Amazon, Dolce & Gabbana, Lulus, Marc Jacobs Beauty, Smile Direct Club, and Boohoo" have not yet decided whether or not they'll be sticking with

(If Smashbox needs a replacement, may I just note that like five people so far have bought their Made It matte lipstick because of me and how awesome I am? Also because it's a really good true red for people with olive skin. I don't have an Instagram, but I do go out regularly! Give me money!)

Olivia Jade, who was on a yacht owned by a USC official when the news came out about the scam, will reportedly not be returning to school after spring break.

As for Felicity Huffman, she hasn't really been doing much lately, so she hasn't lost anything other than her dignity and the likelihood that I will ever get around to actually watching "Desperate Housewives." The producers of "Shameless" have yet to say anything about William H. Macy (who was not charged with anything, despite having clearly been in on it), though the title of the show does seem more appropriate than ever.

ANYWAY, this is now your open thread. Have a schadenfreudey day!

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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Last week, Yr Dok Zoom talked a little bit about his damn dissertation, which looked at "Wabbit Literacy," the weird thing where we sometimes learn about the world from parodies and jokes long before we ever encounter the original stuff -- like learning about opera from cartoons. More than one person in the comments (which Wonkette does not allow and yet, like life, you find a way) mentioned they were disappointed, as kids, to learn that while roadrunners are real birds, the actual critter looks nothing like this:

Which is not to say that real roadrunners are the least bit disappointing, as animals go, because they're freaking incredible. Yes, even if they don't actually leave lines of flame down the center line of desert highways and go "Meep! Meep!" But they can sprint up to 20 miles per hour, which is faster than you, albeit slower than a real coyote's top speed. Also, yes, real coyotes are among the predators what eat roadrunners, which is why the wily birds adopted the evolutionary strategy of running right through fake tunnels coyotes paint on the sides of mountains.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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