Darwin Award Winner Asks Friend To Shoot Bulletproof Vest He's Wearing. You'll Never Guess What Happens Next!
We are fond of quoting the judge in the novel andfilmNobody’s Fool, who said of a case in which an overeager cop fired his gun, “You know my feelings about arming morons. You arm one, you’ve got to arm them all, otherwise it wouldn’t be good sport.” For some reason we seem to have lots of occasions to think of this quote. Like today, when we read this story.
A South Carolina man who donned a bulletproof vest and asked a friend to shoot him was lethally wounded when his friend followed through on the request, authorities said.
Responsible gun ownership strikes again!
The shooting took place on Wednesday, when the victim, 25-year-old Blake Wardell, and a few of his friends were hanging out in a garage for some reason, like you do. Somewhere, maybe next to an old stack of Playboys or some broken ceramic flowerpots, Wardell found a bulletproof vest and got the idea to see if it worked.
Now, think about this. If you want to see if the bulletproof vest will stop a bullet, maybe prop it against something – preferably not the wall because if the vest doesn’t work and the bullet passes through it and bounces off the concrete and hits a bystander, you’ll really look like an idiot. Maybe some sandbags. Or take it outside and lay it on the grass and fire your gun at it there.
Just whatever you do, don’t…put on…okay, you’re putting on the vest.
This being South Carolina, of course someone in the group had a gun of a small but unspecified caliber. Wardell then asked his friend, 18-year-old Taylor Kelly, to shoot him. Which Kelly did. Unfortunately she missed the vest. The bullet passed through the material just above the Kevlar, striking Wardell in the heart and killing him.
Rule number two of testing a bulletproof vest: make sure the shooter is not the sort who would miss water if she fell out of a boat.
Anyway, Kelly is now charged with involuntary manslaughter and faces up to five years in prison. No word on what happened to the vest or the gun.