Dave Brat Just Helping His Buddy Ukraine Out, By Telling Them To Surrender To Putin Immediately

Wow, people are just crawling out of assholes everywhere to tell us how Russia is good and holy, or at least worth surrendering to.

Raise your hand if you remember Tea Party shitlord Dave Brat, who primaried and beat Eric Cantor back in 2014, but then lost to Democrat Abigail Spanberger in 2018. He is a ginormous and extremely un-Christlike asshole. So it makes sense that he is now the dean of the business school at the Falwell clown college known as Liberty University.

Somehow Brat found time in his very busy schedule to visit Steve Bannon, the same guy to whom Ohio GOP Senate candidate JD Vance recently said that "I don’t really care what happens to Ukraine one way or the other.” (Vance tried to change his tune soon after, but how's that "I don't really care" working out for you today, JD? You fuckin' human trashbag.)

Could Brat top Vance? Could he be more disgusting? Yes. Because he told Bannon that Ukraine should just surrender and give Vladimir Putin everything he's demanding. Yeah, the same Putin who reportedly made rape jokes about Ukraine just before he invaded.

Media Matters provides a whole bunch of transcript:

DAVE BRAT: I’ll put the caveat in first, the caveat is the mistake has been made, the fundamental flaw in our logic, six years ago we knew the logic. And that is, Ukraine’s a buffer, and there’s no way they’re going to be a NATO country, there’s no way they’re going to be a EU country. Because, would we allow the Russians into Cuba? No, the answer’s no.

Oh now Ukraine can't be an EU country either, according to Putin's wishes as delivered here by Dave Brat? For the umpteenth time, this is bullshit because Russia already has several NATO countries on its borders, comprising a whole six percent of its land borders. Finland is likely to join. It has even more land border with EU countries.

Also Putin didn't invade Ukraine over NATO membership. He's told us that, multiple times.

Fuck you, Dave Brat.


BRAT: Or, Mexico.

BANNON: It’s better, Mexico, they’re jammed up on there. It’s Mexico, baby, it’s ain’t — Cuba’s got water.

Jesus Christ.

BRAT: So, if you understand that logic, then, you know, the golden rule.

The golden rule is that Vladimir Putin gets to decide which international alliances the sovereign nations on his borders do and do not join? If that's what Dave Brat's Bible says, he has a fucked up Bible.

BRAT: There’s no way Putin is going to allow our aggressive military power on their border, especially when it abuts the Black Sea and then goes out past Turkey to get to the major waterways. It’s crucial to them. And Putin said this about six years ago, he said this is [his] boiling point. So, with that as the caveat, I think Zelensky’s got a good deal facing him. And I would close on that deal today. That — those four points.

By "four points," Dave Brat is saying that Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy should just cave to Putin's four demands to make the murders stop, which are:

1. Ukraine stop fighting back.

2. Ukraine amend Constitution to say it is "neutral" and will never ever try to join NATO or the EU or any other group Russia doesn't like.

3. Just give it up and let Russia have Crimea. They stole it in 2014, might as well turn this kidnapping into a real legitimate adoption!

4. Just give it up and let Russia have Donetsk and Luhansk. Why? Because Russia wants them.

This is what Dave Brat is calling the "good deal" in front of President Zelenskyy. (By the way, Media Matters notes that Ukraine's constitution was "neutral" way back in 2014 when Putin invaded and stole Crimea. It's almost like that's not Putin's real motivation here.)

BANNON: Hold on, those four points, from the American people’s point of view, and maybe the Ukrainian people’s point of view, you would tell Zelensky to close that deal?

BRAT: Yeah, as a Christian brother ...

Zelenskyy is Jewish, and he is not your fuckin' brother.

BRAT: I would tell him, if you do not close on this deal, Kyiv, the other major cities, are going to be just devastated.

And that would be ... whose fault?

Brat ended by trying to make it look like he's just trying to help a Ukrainian buddy out, even though he literally just told Zelenskyy to give his country's sovereignty and a good chunk of its territory to Putin in exchange for "stop hitting me." And that's just to appease Putin for now, when we all know Putin's true goal in Ukraine is full regime change as part of his meth fantasy of reconstituting the old USSR in his own image. He started this war by saying Ukraine is a "fiction."

Does Dave Brat know that? Dave Brat should know that. He is a dean at a real university, after all.

BRAT: Putin has got an ego, we’ve backed him into a corner. The good news is, Russia as well as China in a decade, have a massive demographic problem, they’ve got massive structural economic problems.

BANNON: Financial problems.

BRAT: They’re fading. So you ride them out on this stuff, like China does, they look a hundred years out. This country has got to start looking out a little bit into the future. We’re going to win in the end, so you just allow the buffer in the intermediate time, take that deal, our economy will prevail.

Uh huh. Just ride 'em out, yee haw, like Dave Brat says.

These people are so sick, and so fuckin' stupid.

[Media Matters]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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