Professional Christian liar and fake historian David Barton has a hot take, and it is that southern states only had slaves because they didn't read the Bible like northern states did, and therefore did not know slavery was bad, according to the Bible.

We'd say "wow, that man sure is confused," but the more charitable explanation has always been that Barton is just a garbage human being liar.


BARTON: The northern states were very anti-slavery because they were very Bible-oriented. The southern states were very Christian-professing, but they didn't know much about the Bible and they didn't read it much, they just professed to be Christians.

You betcha.

If those southern slave owners weren't reading the Bible, they sure were missing out on how the Bible is literally full of slavery.

Of course, in reality, most of the southern defenses of slavery were completely predicated on the Bible. Slavery was part of their fucking theology, and it went right along with the garbage about the husband being the head of the wife just like Christ is the head of the church. Such hierarchical thinking isn't antithetical to the Bible, it's integral to it.

Want to learn things? Here's you a whole article about the subject, by somebody who isn't a fake historian. It explains, among other things, that many southern Christians considered slavery "ordained by God," and that Southern ministers "had written the majority of all published defenses of slavery." But sure David, none of 'em ever read the Bible.

From the article:

Biblical justifications had imbedded slavery in a set of orderly domestic hierarchies so that the power of slave owners over slaves paralleled the power of husbands over wives and of parents over children. Slavery was legitimate, so the arguments went, because it was like marriage.

It was 100 percent about the fucking Bible. But David Barton is up here saying the southerns just didn't know much about the Bible, whereas the northerns did.

As anyone familiar with David Barton knows, he lies about the Bible and he lies about history as often as he breathes. (Unless he's just really that stupid, in which case omg bless his heart.) He's got this uncanny way of coming up with fake reasons to claim that Jesus and/or the Bible believe whatever bigoted paste-eating moron GOP thing he's trying to push that day.

One time he claimed Jesus was against the minimum wage. He also used to somehow think the Justice Department was a Muslim terrorist organization or at least had been infiltrated by such. Back when Barton was propounding those fever dream myths, Newt Gingrich got so excited about Barton's work, you'da thought he had met Barton during a speed dating event in a hospice cafeteria. So he's had some influence.

Barton thinks the Constitution is full of direct quotes from the Bible. He thinks climate change is caused by abortion. Here's a clearinghouse of resources on how full of shit Barton is, and what a fake historian he is. Here's Right Wing Watch's archives. He just lies in service of his theocratic garbage religion. Or again, it's possible he's really that stupid, in which case, OOF.

We don't want to assume such mean things about him, let's just stick with liar.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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