David Obey Going To Stop Funding Wars Because He Can Do That

Recently House Appropriations Chair David Obeydecided not to seek reelection after being in power for 41 years because he’s afraid of losing to some MTV reality show contestant. Now with a raging case of Senioritis, Obey doesn’t care anymore about putting effort into being a politician people don’t hate and came up with the ULTIMATE PRANK, cutting funding from America’s favorite thing to do, war.

Obey is threatening to put a hold on Obama’s war funding because the president is not working on getting funding to keep our nation’s child-hating teachers from losing their jobs, extend benefits for our nation’s job-hating unemployed, and continue coverage for our nation’s health-hating Medicaid and Medicare Queens. But really Obey is probably just doing this because he can.

Can you imagine America not spending huge amounts of money to fight war? David Obey is sitting on a beanbag chair in the back corner of the House floor right now, wearing sunglasses and smirking at his hilarious prank.

Robert Gates is super annoyed by all of this and warned that if he does not get funding by July 4, things will have to be DRAWN DOWN, so stop giggling at what David Obey is doing and get serious for a moment, Congress. If this keeps going to July 4, Gates will take the opportunity to remind us that America would still be under the yoke of THE QUEEN if it didn’t get funding from France for the War of 1776, and we wouldn’t have had the opportunity to play for a 1-1 soccer tie with England last weekend, would we?

Of course, it will in the end be impossible for America not to spend huge amounts of money to fight war, but hopefully this fight between Obey and Obama can keep us entertained until the Election of the Century, DeMint vs. Greene, starts to heat up. [David Rogers]


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