Republicans love small government. They don't need anyone from DC sticking their nose in and telling local leaders how to run their business. Except when it comes to black lady mayors, in which case it's YOU DO WHAT WE SAY AND YOU BETTER SAY THANK YOU!

Republicans are gross.

This week's protests have illustrated the absolutely shite position Washington DC occupies as the seat of government, while simultaneously lacking congressional representation, existing as it does outside of any state. Tom Cotton wants to send troops into American cities over the objections of local authorities, and the chaos in DC this week shows exactly what happens when the Trump administration is allowed to do just that. Peaceful protestors get teargassed for a photo op, the streets are filled with barriers and troops of an occupying army, and there is a very real chance of clashes between local authorities and federal storm troopers.

Literally the only people on earth who could made DC cops look like the better option are unidentified shock troops from GOD KNOWS WHERE flooding the streets.

Would you be totally shocked to find that the Trump administration may have failed to follow the law in all its particulars when it summoned thousands of troops to DC so the whinyass Inspector Bunker Baby could feel like a strong man? Well, perhaps you should sit down for this one.

It seems that the Trump administration just called in the National Guard without citing any particular legal justification. He could have invoked the Insurrection Act or the National Defense Authorization Act, but he didn't. Instead he waved his special Presidentin' Wand and thousands from Indiana, New Jersey, Maryland, South Carolina, Missouri, Florida, Tennessee, and Utah magically appeared for the vague mission of quelling riots. But he only tried that trick with DC, of course, because people whose votes actually count for something can fight back.

Hey, you know what we should add to the Democratic Party platform? DC and Puerto Rico statehood, that's what!

DC's Attorney General Karl Racine sent a letter to the White House, Justice Department, and Defense Department yesterday demanding to know under what legal authority the troops are on his streets and whether they are under the impression that they are empowered to make arrests or are just there to throw gas and incendiary devices at the city's residents every time the president wants to wave a Bible around in front of a boarded-up church.

But DC Mayor Muriel Bowser has gone one better, demanding that the White House stop terrorizing the citizens of DC and get all those Nazi-looking storm troopers off her streets.

"I write to inform you that, with last night's curfew ending at 6:00 a.m. today, I have ended the state of emergency in the District of Columbia related to demonstrations," she wrote to the president. "The protesters have been peaceful, and last night the Metropolitan Police Department did not make a single arrest. Therefore I am requesting that you withdraw all extraordinary federal law-enforcement and military presence from Washington, DC."

Bowser adds, concisely and with citations, that the presence of unidentified troops is "inflaming demonstrators and adding to the grievances of those who, by and large, are peacefully protesting for change and for reforms to the racist and broken systems that are killing Black Americans," and says the military presence — very much without identifying insignia — poses risks to both safety and national security.

"Our police and incident command have clear channels of communication and roles and it is important to note that these additional, unidentified units are operating outside of established chains of command," she continued. "This multiplicity of forces can breed dangerous confusion, such as when helicopters are used in a war-like tactic to frighten and disperse peaceful protesters."

In summary and in conclusion, GET THE FUCK OUT.

Naturally, Utah Republican Mike Lee is incensed at this shocking display of ingratitude.

Well, at least he didn't say "uppity."

In point of fact, looting has calmed down across the country, so Lee may be a little bit out in front of his skis on claiming credit for the Utah National Guard. But more to the point, Bowser never asked for these troops from Utah or anywhere else to be dumped on her streets, which is why Virginia, New York, Pennsylvania, and Delaware told the president to go pound sand and refused to send their own guard troops.

Maryland Gov. Larry Hogan is currently tying himself in knots pretending that he, uh, left a message at Muriel Bowser's office after Esper asked him to send troops, so he assumed it was all cool.

"While the Mayor does not have the authority to approve or reject the mission, we conferred with her office prior to moving forward," Hogan's spokesman Mike Ricci said in a statement. Which is probably not what he would have said if the president was proposing to park the Arkansas National Guard in the streets of Annapolis.

"I have not talked to Governor Hogan," Bowser responded dourly.

To Lee, she noted that she's not kicking them out, but she's sure as hell not footing the bill for their hotel rooms either.


And then DC residents painted Black Lives Matter in the street behind the White House (do click the twitter video below!). Because they bloody well do matter! And because this is our goddamn country, and we're taking it back.

DC statehood NOW!

[Bowser Letter / Baltimore Sun]

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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