DC Metro To Lose Iconic Filthy Frayed Moldy Carpet
When the Soviets built the Moscow subway, they made the stations into temples of public luxury so that every citizen could feel proud of the capital and the communist system. When the DC Metro was built, somebody thought it would be super classy to put carpet in the subway cars -- thankfully, the "mirrors on the ceiling" idea was not approved.
The filthy, rotten carpet has been a public monument to idiocy ever since, but new Metro boss John B. Catoe Jr. is threatening to rip it out. "I can understand the thought process in the beginning: 'This is America's subway system -- we're going to provide carpet on the floor of the subway,'" Catoe told AP this week. "Well, that's like having carpet on the Mall."
Please Jesus, do not let anyone in the White House see that "carpet on the Mall" crack, because they are just spiteful enough to do it.