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Deadbeat Tea Party Congressman Joe Walsh Has Purple Heart Band-Aid For Tammy Duckworth's Missing Legs

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Were you guys aware thatdeadbeat Tea Party Congressman Joe Walsh, running against Iraq veteran, former Blackhawk helicopter pilot, double-amputee, and assistant secretary for Veterans Affairs Tammy Duckworth, is the real fighter? You are now!


“In many ways, I’m the challenger. I’m the guy who sleeps in my office, I’m the guy who goes at the establishment on both sides. Turned down my benefits. She’s been the one working in Washington. She’s a bureaucrat. I’m a fighter.”

Well, dude's got big powerful jism-filled balls, that's for sure. But is there more? Yes, there is more.

“I have so much respect for what she did in the fact that she sacrificed her body for this country,” said Walsh, simultaneously lowering his voice as he leaned forward before pausing for dramatic effect. “Ehhh. Now let’s move on.”

“What else has she done? Female, wounded veteran … ehhh,” he continued. “She is nothing more than a handpicked Washington bureaucrat.”

If you need him, Joe Walsh will be in his office, sleeping, fighting, doing almost nothing, and avoiding child support, because "personal responsibility." [Politico]

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Lace up your sneakers, Wonkers! Time to hit the streets. MoveOn, the ACLU, MomsRising and all your favorite dirty leftists are getting together for a yuuuuuuuuge march to show that WE ARE A NATION OF DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS WHO DON'T KIDNAP BABIES. And your Wonkette will be there!

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Rudy Giuliani, flapping his loose yap to Politico on Monday:

President Donald Trump's attorney Rudy Giuliani said on Monday that he was actually just bluffing last week when he called for Justice Department leaders to suspend special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation within 24 hours.

"I didn't think it would," Giuliani told POLITICO with a laugh when asked about the Mueller inquiry's still being very much an active investigation. "But I still think it should be." [...]

That's what I'm supposed to do," Giuliani explained on Monday. "What am I supposed to say? That they should investigate him forever? Sorry, I'm not a sucker."

Cool, that is just Rudy Giuliani admitting he's full of shit and words and more shit and more words (and also a noun, a verb and 9/11). We are guessing therefore that Giuliani, who is a lawyer, would legally advise us to continue assuming we should take his every oral ejaculation with a gi-normous grain of FULL OF SHIT.

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