Dear Al Qaeda,

We read today that you blamed Tony Blair for the London bombings. Isn't this jihad thing supposed to be our fault? You know, you hate our freedom and our fancy televisions and loose morals and whatnot? We thought terrorists were supposed be more loyal than that. We invade a whole country for you people and then suddenly Tony Blair is the new man in your life. We have country songs about going to war with you! We sell toilet paper with bin Laden's face on it! Do you think the country that invented repressed civility will ever take pictures of your leaders in their underpants? The British will frown at you sternly and refrain from sticking glow-sticks in your asses and never, ever, once say "Bring it on."

Come back to us when you can handle a real country.

Love,

America

Al-Qaeda deputy blames Blair for London bombs [FT]