They did it again. Donald Trump whined like a screaming bunker baby, and now the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), which was once known as the top health organization in the entire world, is caving, and will change its recommendations on how to safely reopen schools. Because Trump doesn't care what happens to your children or their teachers.

If you remember, this is where we started our day (actually THIS is where we started our day, the idiot Trump tweets forced a stupid update):

And apparently "meet with them!!!" he did. The announcement about the CDC de-balling its recommendations because the president is having a tantrum came from Vice President Mike Pence:

PENCE: If Daddy isn't happy, nobody's happy, that's what Mother always says!

mike pence smh GIF by Election 2016 Giphy

Excuse us, that wasn't the correct quote, that was one we made up, which nonetheless captures the essence.

The Washington Post reports:

Citing Trump's concern that the guidance might be "too tough," Pence said that the CDC would issue additional recommendations starting next week that would provide "more clarity" and stressed that the guidelines should not supplant the judgment of local officials.

"We don't want the guidance from CDC to be a reason why schools don't open," Pence said. "I think that every American, every American knows that we can safely reopen our schools. . . . We want, as the president said this morning, to make sure that what we're doing doesn't stand in the way of doing that."

Holy fuck. And deja vu all over again, because just a couple months ago, in May, they did the same damn thing. First, they weren't allowed to publish the document they'd prepared with careful guidelines for how states and cities should reopen, which had been approved by CDC Director Robert Redfield weeks before. Turns out the White House had killed it, because, as Chief of Staff Mark Meadows said, they were "too prescriptive." (Translation: Trump didn't like the mashed potatoes, so he threw them off his high chair.) They at last released some weak-sauce watered-down guidelines, but we're pretty sure Trump probably didn't like those either.

And now here we are again!

They don't want no stinkin' CDC in there, giving schools actual recommendations from actual doctors and scientists, to keep actual kids from getting infected and either getting sick/dying themselves, or taking it home to kill Nana. That would interfere with Donald Trump's big yooge re-election plans! Because we know at this point, based on all available information, that the only thing Trump cares about is getting re-elected. He doesn't care if you die, whether from a pandemic in America or a Russian bullet in Afghanistan. He doesn't care if millions of Americans are left with debilitating conditions, even after they "beat" coronavirus.

He just doesn't give a shit.

All he knows is that an America where the schools are closed for months on end reflects poorly on him (AND IT FUCKING SHOULD) and hurts his chances of having another term as Dear Leader.

At the same briefing where Pence made those remarks, CDC Director Redfield tried to pretend like nothing was going on:

Redfield said he recognized that "there is a variety of unique circumstances for different schools and that the additional guidance would reflect that.

"It would be personally very disappointing to me and I know my agency if we saw that individuals were using these guidelines as a rationale for not reopening our schools," he added.

Hate it when people use CDC recommendations to come to an informed decision that conflicts with Donald Trump's political fortunes.

Is everything really fine, though, Robert Redfield?

Yeah, we bet.

Can't wait for the new CDC guidelines, which will probably be "Uhhhhhhh, hey kids, try not to snot all over each other, OK? Masks are for pussies!"

Such is the Trump CDC, which is, spoiler, not the top health organization in the world. It's not even in the top 10.

Today is the day the United States topped 3,000,000 confirmed coronavirus cases. We passed 2,000,000 about a month ago.


[Washington Post]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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