Donald Trump is still VERY UPSET about New York Times reporting that he doesn't go to work until noon, doesn't go to coronavirus task force meetings, but does eat all the french fries and hamberders.

So the message obviously has gone out to all quarters that it is time to talk about how Donald Trump Dear Leader Bigly Yoogely Stamina, Faster Than Speeding Bullet, Testicles Like Bull, So Many Testicles You're Gonna Get Sick Of Testicles, and so forth.

Watch this video of a Fox News idiot talking about Dear Leader's stamina for 14 seconds straight:

That is creepy as hell.


It started this weekend with a New York Post report where all that rag's very honest sources spun tales of Trump's adventurous nature, his curious brain, and his penis like thickest sequoia. New chief of staff Mark Meadows, who reportedly cries at work, led the charge.

"I can tell you that the biggest concern I have as a new chief of staff is making sure he gets some time to get a quick bite to eat," White House chief of staff Mark Meadows told The Post.

He said Trump recently called him at 3:19 a.m. He wasn't expecting the call and was asleep when the phone rang.

Mark Meadows got that 3 a.m. phone call. It was from Trump, who was awake "working" and definitely not watching an informercial about boner pills:

"I can tell you that he will go back in and have a lunch just off the Oval Office and more times than not it is interrupted by several phone calls," Meadows said. "If he gets more than 10 minutes of time in a given day, I haven't seen in the five weeks I've been here."

Trump gets interrupted during lunch! That must be why he is just wasting away before our eyes.

A different White House official said Trump some days doesn't eat lunch.

"There are times when lunch isn't even a thought," the official said. "A lot of time there's either no time for lunch or there is 10 minutes for lunch."

Is this alleged 10-minute working lunch before Trump waddles into the Oval Office around noon to finally (maybe) get an intelligence briefing he's going to ignore — the Washington Post reports that the President's Daily Brief (PDB) featured coronavirus A DOZEN TIMES in January and February — or after that? Maybe it is at the same time, and there is a glorious dance of the seven Big Macs, where aides juggle Big Mac into his mouth as he waddles! Oh golly, what a sight that would be.

Trump, of course, included his own ranting about reports of his general sloth in his weekend Twitter rampage, which itself was just more evidence of his strong work ethic:

The rest of the Post piece is about how when Trump is up there in his bedroom watching TV, what he's really doing is working hard, because he is talking on the phone a whole lot. Why, last Wednesday morning, he talked to Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin at 6:30 in the morning! And also he called like 23 other people! And on Thursday, he called 18 people! But wait there's more!

On Thursday night, he made 11 work calls. On Wednesday night, he was calling until 11:30 p.m. and spoke with a governor, a senator and a congressman.

That is just some very impressive phoning, especially considering how much of Trump's Executive Time is spent live-tweeting Fox News and whining. Would almost 60,000 Americans have died of coronavirus (almost 30 9/11s, more than the American troops we lost in Vietnam) in two months if Trump didn't talk on the phone so much? We're not saying correlation equals causation, but we are definitely saying to look upon the fruits of Donald Trump's "labor" and come to your own conclusions.

White House econ crank idiot Peter Navarro would like a slurp at the royal nutsack:

"I think I work hard. I put in probably 12-hour days seven days a week and he runs circles around all of us," Navarro said. "He never seems to tire. So this idea that he's not working hard is just so absurd. Note to the New York Times: Spending time in the morning reading all of the material that's given to him by his staff secretary, as well as virtually all of the newspapers, that's work. That's not kicking back with a croissant."

LOL OK, Donald Trump's just up there readin' his papers like a common person who knows how to read LOL OK.

New White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany also referred to Dear Leader's stamina on Monday on Fox News, saying Trump gets up early and works "until late in the evening," you betcha, fuck off, Kayleigh.

Here is an actually credible source, Fran Lebowitz, on how damn lazy Donald Trump is, and how she knows this with 100 percent certainty:

Trump is very lazy. I can tell you, the same way basketball players say "game recognizes game," sloth recognizes sloth. This is a lazy guy. I actually know this.

Fran Lebowitz is famously very lazy. She also is very quotable about how stupid Trump really is.

Trump is definitely working very hard this morning as we write this:

The end.

[New York Post / The New Yorker]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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