Donate

Donald Trump went to Montana for one of his Please Love Me And Tell Me I'm Loved, NO, MORE! MORE! rallies, and while the words falling out of his dumb dough face were the usual random stream-of-sundowning brainturds we've come to expect, the crowd behind him was more interesting than almost anything he said. While the White House is clearly dysfunctional, the choreographers for Trump's Montana event were fine-tuning the composition of the chairs on the Titanic people standing behind him as the speech droned on and on.


For the "content" of Trump's speech, the Toronto Star's Daniel Dale provides his usual fine summary, instaquotes, and fact-checking on the fly, and Trump had a few noteworthy crazy things to say, like his very important question, "If I've 'lost it' like they say, how can I give a rally speech for an hour without notes?" Because as we all know, people who've lost it are only able to ramble on and on, telling demonstrable lies, for up to 55 minutes, and then must stop. Trump also said that since Lincoln's Getty'sburg Address was initially mocked and ridiculed -- a claim that irritated several historians -- then maybe in 50 years people will all recognize how truly brilliant Trump is. You bet!

Donald also had some difficulty condemning the anonymous author of that New York Times op-ed, largely because he couldn't manage to pronounce the difficult word "anonymous." Bad denture day, dementia, or drunk? YOU decide!

But the real show was in the bleachers behind the Great Man. For instance, there was this young lady who wiped her nose on the holiest patriotic artifact of all, the Beautiful American Flag:

Yes, yes, she's young, dazed by TV lights, and obviously not giving any thought at all to how it looks to be wiping snots all over Old Glory, but can you imagine if this had been a black teenager standing within a mile radius of any event involving Barack Obama, let alone right behind him? Fox News would be running the tape on a nonstop loop, the young malefactor would have been identified within 30 minutes, and creeps on Twitter and Breitbart would be calling for her to be sent to Gitmo at a minimum. Her family would have gone into hiding -- if they made it out of their firebombed home alive, of course.

None of which should happen to anyone, and certainly not to this kid. But remember, it's black athletes protesting police killings of unarmed black people who have no respect for Our Flag.

Then there were the strategic interventions in crowd makeup. This guy in the plaid shirt made too many funny faces, and appeared to be mocking the Great Man, so he had to go (no audio in clip, don't turn up the volume and hurt your ears when another vid plays, okay?):

Whoops, out you go, grimace-grin boy!

Yup, he was quickly Gif'd, too:

After that, just a little more tinkering with the audience was clearly needed!

Much better. Now, what's the crazy man saying? Screw it, there's no reason to listen. Call us back when he recites the Gettysburg Address from memory.

[Daniel Dale on Twitter / David Choi on Twitter / Susan Simpson on Twitter / Top gif image by Dominic Gwinn, from video by Unsilent Majority on Twitter]

When the going gets weird, Yr Wonkette keeps you going. Donate to keep US going!

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

$
Donate with CC

How do you do, fellow libs? We come together tonight to cheer and clap and cry and laugh, with our leader, Elizabeth Warren, and her fellow nice people Jay Inslee (the gold standard in climate action), Beto O'Rourke (excellent on being a good ally mostly), Cory Booker (best corny love hippie but also Wall Street, it's weird), Julian Castro (I don't know, people are super into him despite his creepy twinness and his too much pomade), Amy Klobuchar (bad bitch), Bill de Blasio ( ... ), John Delaney (???), and Tim Ryan and Tulsi Gabbard.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

We know, the thing we said in our headline is a thing you can say every day, but it's really intense today, maybe because Donald Trump is now filled with fear of the inescapable reality that millions of Americans who have not read the Mueller Report are going to see Robert Mueller testify on live TV on July 17, and Donald Trump will be exposed. Maybe the Big Mac vending machine next to his golden toilet is on the fritz and he hasn't had gotten to eat a Big Mac on the poop chair since last night. Maybe he's just a weak and sad person, a collection of shithole cells God meant to throw in the garbage, but accidentally implanted in Mary Trump's turkey incubator. We imagine that'd lead to a pretty constant state of anxiety and ennui.

Whatever it is, he's totally fucked right now. We were going to write a nice post about Trump's batshit interview on Fox Business with Maria Bartiromo, but we were busy, and by the time we got to it, he had performed so many batshit feats that we're just going to stick them all in this one post.

Let's start with the fight he's trying to wage with US soccer star Megan Rapinoe, who in a now-viral video stated that she has no fuckin' interest in going to the White House to meet that idiot. He got into a quarrel with her on Twitter ... or at least with a Twitter account that didn't belong to her. It's now been replaced, in order that the adult president may shit-tweet at the soccer superstar who hurt his feelings, but Splinter grabbed the original:

The rant continued:

Right. And Megan Rapinoe just said win or lose, she has no interest in meeting your crusty ass, because no decent American would consider that an honor.

Besides, she has already been to the White House to meet a legitimately elected president:

By the by, the owner of the incorrect Megan Rapinoe account saw Trump's whining and told him to grow a dick and set it on fire:

Ya burnt!

But as we said, it was a whole day of batshit from Trump, so let's continue.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc