Dear The Gays: STFU About Hillary's 'Anti-Gay' Email

She doesn't hate the gays. Really.

Did everybody hear the news?! All the journalists have heard the news, of course, that there are MOAR HILLARY EMAILS!!!!11! for everybody to obsessively finger through like a Duggar in his sisters' bedroom. And one of the (!!!) revelations is that, in 2011, Hillary Clinton sent an email about a proposed change on passport forms that would substitute "parent 1" and "parent 2" in place of the traditional "mother" and "father." And DRUDGE SIREN, Hillary was against it at the time, during President Obama's first term, 14 months before he and his administration came out in support of marriage equality, two years before DOMA was struck down, and four years before the Supreme court throat-crammed all the amber waves of grain and the purple mountains' majesty with hot, hard homosexbian marriage.

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WHOA IF TRUE! There are articles like this one going around about how this email is somehow an OMG TERRIBLE mark on Hillary Clinton's record. She was reticent -- again, in 2011, before all the things we named at you in the first paragraph -- to support changing passport forms at that time. The Gays, please listen to yr Wonkette. May we call you The Gays? Does this email kind of suck? Sure. We were A Activist during that time, and we got frustrated about things like that. BUT! We also knew -- just like ALL OF YOU KNOW, except those who are A Idiot -- that the Democrats played a really long (ultimately successful!) game on things like marriage equality and gay homosexican parenting.

We're really not very interested in rehashing the process by which leading Democrats got around to publicly supporting gay rights initiatives, because the process HAD to happen. There are those out there who seemed to believe the president should have called a press conference the day he was inaugurated and executive-ordered full equality, a lifetime supply of Skittles, and a coupon for a free handjob for the entire LGBT community, but that ain't how the equality sausage is made. Leading Democrats seemed to start coming out for full equality just as the nation was about to hit a tipping point. Anyone notice how gay marriage polling hovered between 45 and 50 percent for several years, and then blew out on the other side into a solid majority sometime around the first year of Obama's second term? Wonder if maybe that was part of their strategy, HMMM!

Again, we know. We remember. It SUCKED waiting for that to happen, but the goal here was winning, not making gay lebanesians feel good in their feeling parts. The administration went public with full support for marriage, in our opinion, at just about the perfect time. And yeah, Hillary took her sweet ass time getting around to supporting marriage equality for her own self, GRANTED, but God Bless Texas, y'all, we fuckin' WON that fight. 

So whatever. She supports it now. And in her time as secretary of state, she did a lot of fucking good for homosexwads, both at home and around the world. As Huffington Post points out, she gave domestic partner benefits to diplomats in 2009, started work (in her emailzzzz!!!) on emphasizing international LGBT rights as human rights the very same year, told an international gathering in 2011 (the same year she DID BENGHAZI TO GAY PARENTS, we guess) that "gay rights are human rights," and much, much more! But sure, internet. Let's get our dildos stuck in a doorjamb because she said one slightly unsettling thing in an email.

Anyway, heart you, gay internet, even when you are wrong. There are two (viable) Democrats running for president right now and either one would be a hell of a lot better than anything the Republicans have to offer. (Yes, Martin O'Malley, we know, you are "running for president too," awwwww.) And both can be legitimately criticized for things! Hillary did Benghazi all by herself, and Bernie Sanders is a dirty communist, after all.

Let's try not to get our butts hurt with fake outrage over things that really don't matter.

[Huffington Post / Huffington Post again / Slate]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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