Here they come! In this order, l-r: Tancredo, Thompson, Brownback, Romney, Giuliani, WALNUTS!, Huckabee, Hunter, and whatshisface. And Ron Paul. Let's go!!!!! Newer stuff on top or something!!

7:14 -- This dude between Hunter and Paul -- he's the mayor of Alaska or something? If the surge doesn't work, by the way, McCain's plan is to feel really, really bad for the familes of dead soldiers.

7:10 -- Was Iraq a mistake? Romney says "non sequitur" and "null set" a couple times. Let's give it to Rudy. He'll bring the crazy. There is a terrible buzzing interrupting all of them every now and then, are these the electrodes attached to Walnuts' to keep him from swearing at Mitt?

7:09 -- They've given up on biographies halfway through the intros -- Huckabee cracked a Clinton joke, Giuliani just recited a license plate he saw on the way over, and Ron Paul just declared himself "THE CHAMPION OF THE CONSTITUTION." FUCK YEAH, RON! We don't know what that means but we'd like to buy an action figure!

7:08 -- Mitt Romney is a "neighbor."

7:07 -- Oh christ, Tommy's trying to be funny. Already. During the introductions.

7:06 -- "No loud bells or whistles -- zing, Fox! Wolf Blitzer's droning monotone is the only sound effect we need!

7:05 -- The CNN pipeline thing is having Arianna Huffington and some other dude make fun of the debate in real time on one of the channels -- kind of like us, but maybe slightly more sober? Another channel will feature focus group reactions or something on a wavy yellow line. Alternatively you could just measure how much of your drink is left and when you desperately need a refill.