Decade of Feces: Top 100 Moments of the 2000s


Photo of the Decade.Whoa hey is it almost the 2010s? And here I am still writing "Fuck the Pope" on my checks. Well, let's start the first of a Very Long Series of special "year ender" journamalism features of the kind you could once find in your "local newspaper" this time of year, back when there were newspapers.

You remember, maybe, a bunch of half-ass thumbsuckers and "retrospectives" typed by conventional-wisdom newspaper reporters so they could take off a whole week at Christmas and yet still have "evergreen" articles in the paper, alongside a bunch of obvious AP graphics and re-used Photos of the Year? ANYWAY: Did you know that this was a really terrible decade, in every measurable way?

But let's focus on the Positive, and all gather around the YouTube clip of a Yule Log as we celebrate the Top 100 special moments of this nameless 'tardtastic decade, "The first decade of the Third Millennium."

100. John Edwards chased into a Los Angeles hotel bathroom by National Enquirer reporters.

99. Nevada governor Jim Gibbons imitating the Hip Hop by putting a napkin on his head, on a cruise ship.

98. YouTube.

Dennis Hastert, remember that fat sack of shit?

97. Barack Obama's DNC speech, in the Year 2000. Or whenever it was .... we didn't see it, but this is how he became president, is that right?

96. Meghan McCain's "children's book" which was just some awful propaganda about her war-criminal crank dad printed alongside the world's shittiest faux-Rockwell illustrations.

95. Just the whole concept of Meghan McCain, in general.

Actual photograph of post-Katrina New Orleans.

94. Mark Foley, Republican congressional star of Florida, just cold fuckin' boys and drunkenly trying to hump on House pages. Bonus: He used AIM.

93. Everybody got hugely fat, and also poor. Wait that is pretty much a bad thing, right? Let's move on.

92. PUMAs!

91. "Mouthpiece Theater."

90. Warblogging.

89. Teabagging.

88. The first season -- and only the first season, really -- of the pay-teevee cable western, Deadwood.

87. Ron Paul's presidential campaign.

86. Ron Paul's BLIMP.

85. Freedom Fries.

84. Eh, maybe we should break this up into *sections,* yes, for Maximum Page Views. Page Views! That was something from the 2000s, right? (And also from the 1990s, which look so much better from the rear-view of the 2000s.)

83. Profit?

And here is an actual photograph of this decade, the 2000s.

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'Bella" by Wonkette Operative 'IdiokraticSubpoenaKommissar'

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Roger Stone, his wife would like you to know, is broke. And he is not dealing with it well. Once in khaki suits, gee, he looked swell, full of that yankee-doodle-dee-dum, but now no one calls him Al anymore and he has to stand on a street corner singing "Brother Can You Spare A Dime?"

Yesterday, the conservative but also kind of Never Trumper site The Bulwark revealed the details of a grifty "fundraising" plea sent out by Stone's wife Nydia, begging supporters to give money to the Stones in order to help them keep up the lifestyle to which they have become accustomed.

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