Delaware Republicans Get Their Own Alvin Greene, But With Witchcraft
Sometimes we actually read the Politico "Morning Score" email (we know, weknow) and today there's a funny secret GOP-to-Politico communication within the usual pile of conventional wisdom and links to Politico stories. About nutty fraud Christine O'Donnell's miraculous win last night, a "Republican reader" (Karl Rove) asked, "Is this what S.C. Dems felt like when they got Alvin Greene?" Ha ha, we guess, but at least Democrats like black people (in theory).
Speaking of Democrats, they are "stoked" about O'Donnell's primary victory because now the GOP won't win this previously-easy Senate seat. Well we do not march in lockstep with the Demoncraps, because they are so boring anyway, and terrible -- compared to humans, we mean. Compared to Republicans they are "the lesser of two Hitlers" or whatever. Anyway, we were talking about ... O'Donnell, she who puts the "Christ" in "Christine" and can masturbate without even using her hands (by doing witchcraft). UPDATE: It only took three days for this story to be verified as ACTUAL TRUTH, ">and here's the video of Christine O'Donnell telling Bill Maher about her sexytime as an actual witch who had a "date" involving another witch, and a "Satanic altar," and a "little midnight picnic" of blood.
Speaking of, do you have relatives or neighbors or whatever always talking about those Michael Pollan books about how food is so gross and we're all such foul slobs? And this conversation is actually happening over, say, a dinner of CostCo industrially farmed anus loaf? Well Michael Pollan also wrote this:
"Witches and sorcerers cultivated plants with the power to "cast spells" -- in our vocabulary, "psychoactive" plants. Their potion recipes called for such things as datura, opium poppies, belladonna, hashish, fly-agaric mushrooms (Amanita muscaria), and the skin of toads (which can contain DMT, a powerful hallucinogen). These ingredients would be combined in a hempseed-oil-based "flying ointment" that the witches would then administer vaginally using a special dildo. This was the "broomstick" by which these women were said to travel.
In other words, we hope Christine O'Donnell wins the Senate seat from Delaware, and then somehow becomes president. We hope ALL the nutters win, every dingbat psychic-masturbating UN-blockading snake-handling prohibitionist gold-bug wild-eyed Straight Up Racist frothing numbskull from Albany to Alaska. It is basically time to speed up the train. Had Alvin Greene run as the Tea Party candidate in South Carolina, Jim DeMint wouldn't be cackling with cracker glee today .... he'd be looking for a good lobbying position come January.