Funny how it all works out: Even during a week when our little mommyblog, recipe hub, and ugly vile little snark mob was brought low by server issues for a day and then some, we had an astonishing number of deleted comments, mostly thanks to 1) an idiot dentist with blood lust (no, not Jack Nicholson in Little Shop of Horrors OR Lawrence Olivier in Marathon Man) and 2) A few really determined trolls on other stories. Let's get straight to the latter, a garrulous fellow simply named "Ben," who warned us that Morgan Freeman is lying to America about the Iran nuclear deal:


I agree that a deal was better than war, but Obama and Kerry broke their promise of not signing a bad deal. Contrary to what is outlined in this video clip, we "Do Not" have unprecedented access to Iran's nuclear sights, and "No" access to their military sites. Iran has lied to us repeatedly ... Check out Iranian TV--they are laughing at us. Their commentators (between laughing), ask one another if we have never heard of Taqqiya? That is the Muslim rule to be able to lie and deceive an enemy. I spent many years working Intel and know Iran has been up to no-good. I would say to these commentators--try and be objective. Press for a better deal. Study the history of Islam and Iran. Do not embrace Neville Chamberlain ... We need to deal from a position of strength. The next administration will most likely be Republican, and they will attack Iran, unless Israel and S.A. attacks beforehand. By the time Obama is out of office Iran will have several bombs. I greatly respect Queen Noor and Morgan Freeman, but ask them to think ahead. We can deal with them now, or leave it to chance. Press the U.S. Congress for a better deal. Ben in Hawaii.

We've always "loved" people who use quotation marks for emphasis. But we'd better listen to Ben, since he's "spent many years working Intel," which we assume means he's never had a computer with an AMD processor. He also apparently speaks Farsi and watches a lot of Iranian TV, or has read some blog that explains exactly what all the Iranian TV talking heads are saying. Also, again with the taqqiya nonsense, which has been debunked again and again, but hey, surely a man with deep roots in the Intel community (he's on his computer all the time) would never fib about fairly basic stuff.

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For an intelligence expert who gets all his information "from my job, in national security," (he is also a Marine, with 28 years in the Corps), Ben is a somewhat confused person, considering his habit of assuming that Wonkette readers are either Muslims themselves or residents of Iran. He told at least three different Wonkette commenters (which are not allowed), to evacuate from the potential targets in Iran. A sampling:

  • Imagine your gay Ayatollahs bent over and a big paedophile Mohammed dick being stuck into them, while 2-3 countries rain down nucs on Iran. Unlike you, I'm not kidding. Have a good evening.
  • My prediction is -- war in 2-3 weeks. Wake up
  • I have had many Iranian friends, but I would say, get ready for action very soon -- maybe not by us.
  • Take my advice. Get your fucking family out from the major cities in Iran.
  • You're such a smart guy, Google "Iranian TV Nuclear deal." I get my info from my job, in national security. Tell your family to evacuate the major cities.
  • You don't have to believe me--just wait a little while to see for yourself. My only advice is, since I like the Iranian people, is get the fuck away from the nuclear facilities, air bases, naval stations, and army concentrations.
  • I'm not going to argue this any longer. I;m trying to help you. My message is "get your fucking family away from military and nuclear sites." Like very soon.

And of course, he reminded us several times -- as any Marine Intel officer would know -- that "in modern times all airplane hijackings, mass bombings of civilians, ethnic cleansing, have come from Muslims." Now, you may question that, but Ben explained that Oklahoma City doesn't count because it was just two guys not affiliated with a formal group. He didn't mention other exceptions; we suppose maybe the IRA doesn't count since their bombings weren't massive enough, and the Bosnian and Rwandan genocides get a pass since he didn't think of them. Ben also mentioned secret uranium storage sites in/near Tehran that the regime is betting "wouldn't be hit because it would cause a mass civilian casualty event," and repeated that he's pretty sure Israel and/or Saudi Arabia would be most likely to attack Iran before the U.S. even gets a Republican president, based on Israel's 1981 bombing of Iraq's partly-built nuclear reactor, "as well as a few covert ops the public doesn't know about."

Curiously, for all his experience as a Marine and an Intel expert, Ben was also quite willing to deprive his nation of his services by challenging other readers to fistfights, which would probably get him sent to the brig, maybe?

The guy's Disqus comment history is a hoot, too; would you believe he's a birther? And one of our favorites was a comment at WND where he explains how to keep America safe: Simply

require all Muslims entering the U.S., either as tourists, temporary residents, or as immigrants to swear to the allegiance of the United States, but more importantly, to repudiate the tenants of the Koran and Islam that requires them to commit Jihad, or to believe that Islam is to subjugate others. Also, they must not wear disguises in public.

You just have to know that somewhere he's complained about Barack Obama's disregard for the Constitution.

We also got a load of comments on our piece about Donald Trump's enthusiasm for giving Sarah Palin a major position in the coming Trump Administration. "Overthecoastline" had a whole bunch of exciting thoughts on that possibility:

  • I can see the headlines now: "Trump takes White House in Landslide; Palin first female VP"
  • What's so funny is that by the weekend, we'll be reading about even HIGHER polling numbers for Trump.

    You liberal whack jobs just can't STAND the fact that there is no stopping Donald Trump from taking the White House next year.

  • I'm sorry, I'm having a hard time understanding what you're babbling about. You see, I'm kind of busy watching Trump's polling numbers rocket into the stratosphere.

And by golly, credit where it's due -- by the weekend, Trump's poll numbers were indeed higher -- among Republicans. The Quinnipiac University Poll showed him with 20 percent of Republicans supporting him, far more than any other GOP primary contender. There was a small downside, though: the same poll showed that Trump also had the highest "No way" rating from Republicans, at 30 percent, and that the Chia Candidate would lose to Hillary Clinton would beat Trump 48-36 percent, Joe Biden, who isn't even running (yet), would beat Trump 49-37 percent, and Bernie Sanders would win 45-37 percent. The poll didn't ask, but we bet Trump would do a bit better against Martin O'Malley, maybe, if only because "Who?" would be the most common response.

Overthecoastline also had some incisive replies to other commenters, like "That's so funny I forgot to laugh. Maybe they'll mount it into a skit on SNL. THAT should get people laughing.Not." Oh, the classics. And of course, every time he wrote "Obama," -- aka "the Marxist Muslim alien dirtbag" -- he replaced the "O" with a zero, a hilarious joke that sadly was rendered invisible by Disqus's default font.

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There were far more deleted comments on our story about the lion-shooting Dentist than we'd care to inflict on you -- so many that we had to run a reminder post about how comments work here -- but one genius in particular, going by "nozferat," was a real gem, offering this happy thought about how to make the world a better place:

This is what they should do to this man....

First..they should pull all his teeth out one by one without any anasthesia.

Then they should let him bleed...

Then they need to take him to South Africa or the Gulf of Mexico and slit open the bottoms of his feet...then throw him over into the nice warm waters and watch the motherf09gker be eaten alive by the gorgeous Great White sharks roaming those waters.

With some luck, we'll watch a Great White breach as it cuts his body in half.

He deserves at least that much. Then he can rot in Hell....

More than a few people pointed out to "nozferat" that this seemed a tad over the top, and nozferat in turn informed them that if they didn't see the obvious justice in this plan, they were supporters of lion-killer Walter Palmer. Also, too, Wonkette became implicated in the dentist's crimes because we deleted nozferat's posts:

  • you call it anger...I call it justice...and you being a wuss for calling me out on it and having my comment removed. Lame beyond words.
  • Se the example properly and it'll stop ALL of these animal killings...that's the point isn't it? Or do you think it's OK that this continues and has continued for decades because people like you don't have the stomach to do what's right once and for all for animals that don't have a voice?
  • Next time...don't have my opinion removed. Don't be so lame.
  • This man deserves what he should get. If he goes to jail in Zimbabwe and gets raped hopefully multiple times, you think he'll reformed? Or come out worse?
  • What you think belongs here or not is irrelevant....the fact that you support this guy says it all. You're in the same class.
  • Plus you're a fucking coward yourself for removing my comments. lol..my goodness you're a fucking idiot.

And then there was "GOPvsUSA," who also let us know that we are enablers of animal murderers because we aren't fans of elaborate torture fantasies:

  • Careful what you say gang: The mods here are deleting posts if you say you want to have the guy treated like he treated Cecil.
  • Gotta love it when the mods stick up for a POS like Palmer ... under an article about the brutal death of Cecil no less!

And then he decided to pick a fight with Shypixel, who'd asked him to tone it down a notch, please. It's always a great idea to tell moderators that they're running their own websites ALL WRONG:

Truth stings a bit, eh? I'm surprised you didn't remove the warning I posted to others too.

But I'm not surprised that you would be hypocritical enough to let all sorts of other posts similar to mine -- with five times the profanity -- remain uncontested.

I'm sure you'll get right on them now that I pointed that out, right?

Now here's how this works ... As long as I don't care what condescending mods like you think, I'll continue to "abide" by my own rules.

See, condescending tones don't work with me. As I'm sure you can tell, I just don't intimidate anywhere near that easily.

You're free to ban me and I'm free to not give a shit and laugh as I "wander off".

Now are we clear on this? [...]

I'm almost sorry I had to diminish your aura of superiority in the eyes of others here. I say "almost" because it's worth the horrendous ban that's sure to follow and change my life forever!!!

Well, golly, he did indeed get tapped with the Banhammer of Loving Correction, but he sure did speak truth to power before he went. We hope that our aura of superiority will somehow recover now that he's exposed our hypocrisy in failing to delete posts containing profanity, but removing profanity-free posts that merely advocate torturing human beings to death. Truly, we feel very small right now.

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And finally, an almost-perfect complaint about Wonkette headline conventions, in response to our post on Nevada teabagger state assemblywoman and probable Medicaid fraudster Michele Fiore, which was titled "Nevada Wingnut Rep. Michele Fiore Stoled All The Money From Medicaid, Maybe":

Please fix the headline. It's "stole" not "stoled." Thanks.

That commenter's username? "InfrequentVisitor."

Why, yes, we'd say so.

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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