Deleted Comments: Away With You, Wonkette, And All Your Bawdy Talk!
We have a semi-rare treat to lead off this week's Deleted Comments column, for it is neither a comment, nor was it deleted! Instead, it is a genuine olde-fashioned email to Yr Editrix from a dissatisfied reader, "Tuatha502," who simply wanted to be removed from our newsletter mailing list:
I had unsubscribed to your musings, but you seem to still be sending me your opinions. Your web site does not function well at all, and your use of the language is bawdy. If you could fix these problems, I would probably read your opinions.
Wonkette apparently was not Tuatha502's cup of tea (even when sipped daintily from a cup held with extended pinkie finger), and we apologize for any dropped crockery. We're also sorry to hear about the website problems -- perhaps she needed a modem with a higher bawd rate?
[contextly_sidebar id="12LQFFjGvEmdXcueKPydNdeHwCYiy1gN"]On the other end of the politesse spectrum, our story on Mississippi's decision to keep the Confederate emblem on its state flag drew this comment from "Shawn Patrick Feagin," who was less worried about our indelicacy than about our insult to the honor of a deceased foreign nation that existed on this continent for a tad under five years, before its untimely obliteration:
People MISSISSIPPI VOTED STATEWIDE TO KEEP THEIR FLAG ALREADY why do U live in south if you don't ''LOVE'' it here get the F**K OUT . THANK YOU
We're thinking we should introduce Mr. Feagin and Tuatha502. They'd have a lot to talk about!
[contextly_sidebar id="o1ov4g5Abql7ppNCkIYLs1I9rNBltggM"]More strong language and ALL CAPS (though stylishly restricted to individual words, for EMPHASIS) from "Samerica," who didn't like our story about Kentucky Gov. Matt Bevin and his completely not frivolous $900,000 lawsuit against Planned Parenthood:
amazing how many of you wacknuts from the left still have no legit reason for KILLING BABIES EXCEPT name calling and using Faux news are your excuse! sickos. And if you want to pay for this then you and your rich wacknuts friends pay for it then YOU pay for it our of your own pockets and you will pay for it when your burning in HELL.
We'll confess this is a new one to us -- we've been contributing to Planned Parenthood for years (thanks for the fundraising letters!), and not once have we seen anyone give "name calling" or "Fox News" as a reason for having an abortion. We're not even sure why either of those would motivate someone to have an abortion, really. Fox News seems more likely to induce vomiting, if anything.
[contextly_sidebar id="gxauiPnYSZys48TN0V37LHEhbS1CCgKz"]Our story on the denial of bail for Welfare Rancher Cliven Bundy got some fact-checking from a very angry "Pete L," who doesn't care for our use of the language even when it's not bawdy:
This article is trash from start to finish. Just as another post says there was a shootout, only ones doing the shooting were the murderous Feds. Not one shot was fired from LaVoy or his people.
Mind you, there was nothing in the Cliven Bundy story about the shooting of LaVoy Finicum, so we're not sure this was really a "fact check," since Pete L never actually said what was untrue about the story. We're fairly certain that Cliven Bundy really was arrested, charged with criming, and denied bail because he has stated that he doesn't recognize the legitimacy of federal courts. Perhaps Pete L is simply emulating his hero and refusing to bow to the tyrannical rules of logic. Stay on topic you say? Well what about the Federal Reserve and going off the Gold Standard, huh? BENGHAZI!
[contextly_sidebar id="Nuur9p8o0Euk5O2Hn3gVR631ovFDyUMP"]And finally, we got a weird string of comments on a piece from last May about a really stupid video game called "Kill the Faggot," which surfaced briefly on the "Steam Greenlight" videogame server before the management shut it down as a violation of their own Terms of Service. The article really got freedom-loving freedom lover "Mike Hughes" (no relation to any "Mike Hughes" you know, we hope) Steamed. You know what pisses off Mike Hughes? Censorship. It just pisses him off so hard:
- The only people who support censorship are fascist Nazi scum. Period.
- You free speech hating little Nazis are the fascists. Poor stupid liberals think the first amendment only applies to speech and expression they agree with. Not in America Bed Wetter. If you don't like the first amendment, don't let the door smack you in the backside on the way out. The first amendment is DESIGNED AND INTENDED to protect offensive speech and expression. if it wasn't offensive it wouldn't need protection from frightened little bed wetters like you.
- Let me point out another little inconvenient piece of reality for you: The OBVIOUS goal here was to use knee jerk reactionists like you to stir publicity and drive downloads on the authors site where the game is hosted now and, thanks to people like you, that goal was achieved in spades. Sucker. God Americans have become such gullible little pawns.
- And the totalitarian left is desperate to hang on to censorship as much as it can since the courts slap them down every time their anti-first amendment antics go to trial. Just what is it about free speech and expression that TERRIFIES liberals so much? It's a GAME. Do you boycott and freakout over every movie that shows a murder or rap song that advocates it? Finally, the knee jerk reaction to it has given the author exactly what he wanted: Free publicity which has undoubtably resulted in 100 times the attention he would ever have gotten otherwise. Congratulations.
- You reactionists drove a boatload of traffic to the author's sight for downloads of it. That said, why do people like you feel the need to determine what game or anything else people have access to in an app store? You little leftwing censors are as bad the religious right censors. All of you think there should be some moral authority deciding what games people can play, what they can read, or watch etc.
Needless to say, he completely ignored all the people pointing out that it was the management at Steam who decided to pull the game, not the government, because as publishers, they're protected by that First Amendment thingie. Damn stupid liberal censors! Also something something arglebargle liberals only complain about Christians and never complain about Muslims but Muslims are the ones who execute and oppress gays open your eyes sheeple freedom liberty republic not democracy Ron Paul FOREVER!
The other odd thing about "Mike Hughes"? He was accompanied by a pal named "ConservCockstrkr," who offered such nuggets of wisdom as
- We are certainly luckier to live in the U.S., Mike. Thanks for reminding all of us.
- Mike is right on. Whether we like someone's message or not, we have to support their freedom to say it.
- As usual, Mike is absolutely right!
Good to know that at least someone has the good sense to agree with Mike Hughes. In fact, "ConservCockstrkr's" Disqus history consists of two things: enthusiastic comments agreeing with "Mike Hughes" and a couple of other usernames (who just might also be "Mike Hughes"), and enthusiastic comments on porn videos -- both gay and straight.
"Mike Hughes." Dude. If you're going to make such an obvious sockpuppet account, wouldn't it make more sense to use a clean sock that doesn't have spooge stains all over it?
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.