My Little Pony: Friendship is a Plot to Silence Real Patriotic Americans

Greetings, Ye Wonkers! We're back with all the comments that weren't fit to keep printed, and we've got a bit of a backlog to work through. Fortunately, there's no expiration date on deleted comments: They're usually rancid to start with. Let's start with this note from "Glen Boege," who replied to our story on Fox News's re-embrace of Donald Trump with a happy reminder that when President Trump gets the nomination, there'll be some changes made in how we do politics:

Trump is supported heavily by vets. Due to the long years of war in Iraq and Afganistan there are millions of vets with major combat experience. Most of these guys are in their 20's and 30's. This is a serious force to reckon with. If their are riots in the streets. The pussy little Bernie and Hillary whimps will get their asses kicked badly. And don't forget all the millions of NASCAR good old boys. Don't want to fuck with them either. If they want war in the streets, Trumps boys will do some serious ass kicking

[contextly_sidebar id="m2TlWMERF8dKflKqbHfIrwizMjI05QXd"]So you pansies all better stop accusing Donald of authoritarianism, unless you want to eat your big words, got it? Ballot box? What's that? This election will be decided by street fighting, the way politics ought to work.

[contextly_sidebar id="RQWEDFqk6RgMQkAAMLyy09RRI7jdwuzD"]One "Monica Edwards" was very careful to remind us that Mr. Trump is at risk from constant assaults by liberals (paid by Hillary, maybe) who want to silence him, or maybe even kill him, like that lunatic guy who tried to jump on the stage in Dayton last weekend, which all liberals think was the greatest thing ever:

  • Did you miss the part where someone at least tried to assault him? Keep in mind I don't support Trump either but I'm fairly sure that if they had the chance people WOULD punch him and someone did try so really WTF? Stop pandering. This is why I hate the left so much.
  • the guy who rushed the stage and grabbed Trump's pants with the intent to assault him never happened? Or do you idiots justify that as reasonable behavior? Once again, this is why I hate the left so much. You are blind to how shitty your own behavior is. The right isn't great either but you guys justify it as "good" and that's even worse.

Strangely, not a single person in the comments said "Gosh, we wish more people would attempt to assault presidential candidates" or said they thought the idiot who rushed the stage was a wonderful guy, but apparently Ms. Edwards sees into the dark souls of Wonkette readers who approve of violent assaults. Our hypocrisy is so sickening, and this is why she hates the left so much.

Ms. Edwards also insisted that Trump's purely hypothetical offer to pay the legal fees of people who assault protesters is not encouraging violence at rallies, while obviously protesters at Trump rallies probably are being paid:

That isn't PAYING someone to assault people. That's paying legal fees no one is profiting from this. God you people will just anything to justify trashing this guy. He has a right to run for president just as Hillary and Bernie do. Further more in any given crowd of people you will have crazy individuals. I don't see trump supporters showing up by the thousands to throw shit at Hillary/Bernie supporters and prevent them from speaking. Yet you lefities think this is okay because it's the "right kind" of censorship. Just wait until YOU are censored because you won't think it's the "right kind" any more. This is how it all starts you know.

Funny thing, it doesn't actually start that way. We've actually been reading a history of the early days of the Nazi party, and they didn't start by standing still, shouting slogans, and being escorted out of opponents' speeches. They went straight to beating people up and openly calling for suppression of anti-Nazi views. We seem to have missed the calls for censorship that Ms. Edwards was certain ran throughout the comments, but we may simply be lazy readers.

[contextly_sidebar id="bWiM5rq4SZ3wW5M14R0mik7YXv1FEl9u"]Our post on Michelle Obama's unforgivable assaults on America's school lunches drew the most deletia this week, apparently because if there's one person wingnuts can't stand more than Barack Obama, it's his terrible wife trying to pry French fries out of our children's greasy near-diabetic fingers. One "Howard Robinson" explained that Michelle Obama is trying to starve America into Marxism:

Michelle Obama never politely asks anyone to do anything, she yells at them and she singlehandedly destroyed school lunch programs all over the country. Now she is destroying the military's morale by trying to control their diet. If you recall, she tried to plant a vegetable garden at the white House, but it failed and they had to go to a grocery store to buy vegetables that she lied and claimed were from her garden. The first thing she should do is loose a ton of weight from her fat ass. I bet the White House chef cooks up high calorie delights for her all the time. She likes lobster I'm told. She is not a nutritionist and ought to shut up. A good cause for her would have been wounded warriors, but she hates the military and tries to get out of every military related event. Maybe she should stick to something that she knows something about. Let's see, that nothing. She is a stupid hateful ignoramus who got her degrees based on affirmative action and it shows.

Oh, heck, he forgot to mention her $200 million a day vacations, so no bingo card, sorry. When someone replied "Ladies and gentlemen, I present Angry White Guy," Mr. Robinson insisted he's just sharing the gift of Free Speach with us:

Who's the angry one asshole, I'm just expressing my First Amendment and you can't accept it.

Oddly, the Wonk commenter (who isn't allowed) didn't appeal to the First Amendment after that attempt to silence him by calling him an asshole. Another Wonker told Howie to STFU, which again drew a spirited constitutional defense:

Stupid leftist, doesn't understand the First Amendment.

We also learned that Michelle Obama's promotion of exercise and healthy eating is NOTHING like Laura Bush's advocacy of literacy, because "She didn't force a book in anyones face" [sic]. SO THERE.

In reply to someone who took exception to that stuff about Michelle Obama being a "stupid hateful ignoramus who got her degrees based on affirmative action," Mr. Robinson explained that he is definitely not a racist:

Please do not call me a racist. It is the policies of Obama's white half that I don't like. His black half is fine with me.

So, original, these guys! What, no teleprompter joke? Finally, when his very clever comments about his First Amendment rights being infringed (by people disagreeing with him and asking him to shut the fuck up) led to the inevitable deployment of that XKCD cartoon (you know the one), he stuck to his talking points, because he knows how Free Speach works:

As long as one person wants to listen, blocking someone from speaking is a violation of the First Amendment and the civil rights of both the listener and the speaker.

We should ask him for a citation on that, but he's been kissed by the Banhammer of Loving Correction (© and ™ John Scalzi), so we'll just have to wait for his lawsuit. Also, alert Wonkette Operative "Pinkham's Law" (no relation) discovered Howard Robinson's Very Own Blog, which mostly appears to consist of shouting "Alinsky" a lot. We would like to point out to him that, as the blog's publisher, he can moderate and delete comments on his blog all day long without ever running afoul of the First Amendment. Isn't that nice?

That Michelle Obama piece really angered "Joseph Finley," who had thoughts about the First Lady as well:

Just throw the 'ho out the door! Looking forward to not having this flaming bitch in everybody's face. But hey -- if you were transgender you'd be bitchy too!

He seems nice.

Man of Few Words "Nate Lamphere" not only didn't want to hear anything about Michelle Obama, he also thinks this whole blog can be sent to Afghanistan, no one has lost any:

  • Flotus and potus are pos's.
  • If this was a printed publication, I would use it to line a hamster cage.

It's so cute to see how they learn wordplay like that. We'd like to imagine Nate showing those comments to a buddy, who'd read them, his lips moving, then take a gulp of beer from a red cup and clap Nate on the back, saying "GOOD ONE!" The sad truth, of course, is that Nate has no friends because he is dumb and smells bad, the end.

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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