Deleted Comments: I Do Not Understand The Sarcasim Of This Article


As ever, our Deleted Comments cup runneth over with Derp, so let's get right to mopping up the mess left by our banhammered visitors. Our first exhibit comes from one "Kenny Y," who dropped by our article on Fox & Friends unmasking Hillary Clinton as the REAL culprit in the wiretapping of Trump Tower. "Kenny" eventually had some thoughts about Hillary Clinton, but mostly, he just wanted to know why our blog has such a stupid name:

Lol...Wonkette??? Who the hell thought up that name??

Several people assisted "Kenny" by explaining that blog founder editor Ana Marie Cox thought it up all by herself (we actually have no idea if this is true or not; the website's first owner, Nick Denton, could just as easily have come up with it), and they even took the time to explain what a policy wonk was. "Kenny" eventually let us know he didn't much care for the former First Lady, Senator, and Secretary of State, because she's such a dummy:

She is an idiot, no doubt. Maybe not in everyday life, but, in the political world people have came to see her as she really is. An habitual lying, scheming, egotistical, self serving maniac.

"Kenny" also advised us that whether we like it or not, Donald Trump is now OUR president, which is useful information we'll be sure to file away, as we had not realized this essential fact.

Our story on Louie Gohmert being the Biggest Pussy in Congress -- he won't hold a town hall since that's how Gabby Giffords got shot, you know -- somehow drew the attention of one "Roger," who didn't actually have anything to say about the story, but sure went nuts in reaction to another commenter, "Jarod." "Jarod" said something disparaging about Louie Gohmert's home territory of east Texas, and "Roger" gave him quite the dressing-down in reply:

  • And you're the BIGGEST PUSSY on hear; why don't you just tell everyone that you're a MODERATOR here, and that you are a PERPETUAL SNOWFLAKE, eh ?
  • And we don't know where you're from, TELL US Mr MODERATOR, eh ?

Feels like some context is missing; the guy he was badgering hadn't claimed to be a moderator at all. We took a look at "Roger's" comment history, which solved the mystery; he'd followed "Jarod" from a different blog, apparently because he wasn't finished yelling at him. Wonkette was no more than another backdrop for "Roger's" eternal pursuit of his nemesis, like Lokai and Bele from that one Star Trek episode which explained racism is bad.

"Roger" is also inordinately fond of calling people names in ALL-CAPS, like JACKASS, IMBECILIC MORON, IDIOTIC SNOWFLAKE TROLLS, LYING A$$HOLE, LibTURD Dyke, MORONIC SNOWFLAKES, IMBECILIC SNOWFLAKE JACKA$$E$, and "DeemoCRAPS!" (We thought the double-e was a typo, but he uses it regularly because it means something to him.) "Roger" also thinks "bovine excrement" is the height of wit. If you scroll through his comments for a little bit, there's a sort of screamy wingnut Beat poetry vibe to it. After their brief encounter here ended in Yr actual Friendly Neighborhood Comments Moderator tossing "Roger" out the airlock, he then followed "Jarod" to three different posts at The Hill, and then we guess they ended up electrocuting each other.

Let That Be Your Last Flamewar

Our piece on Andrea Mitchell trying to please get an answer to her goddamn question, please, drew this comment from "WhitewaterMkII," who was at least kind enough to choose a username indicating he still thinks the Whitewater nothingburger was a Big Deal:

heh, sucks to be MSM hack these days...and make millions at the same time...

Haha, Andrea Mitchell is well-paid, so why should anyone care that the Secretary of State never talks to reporters who are all biased liberal millionaires like her? We're not sure why "WhitewaterMkII" thinks it's a bad thing Mitchell is rich, since, he assured us cubicle drones at Wonkette, he is actually fabulously wealthy himself, thanks to a life of hard work and being better than lazy liberal takers. We are all fools, fools he tells us, because we idolize bad rich liberals who deceive us constantly.

  • Just checked the one holer, yep, Andrea is in there fishing around since she dropped her mike in there. Zero voice and access any longer, but she's still a stinky 1 per center!
  • Obama and the missus only made 65 mil by selling a book of lies. Sucks to be them.
  • I could give a crap, I'm retired, made my stash, and will never have to do anything again in life that I don't want to. Personally I think it's hilarious that the people you think are the cats pajamas are the #1 ripoffs of all time and you put them on a pedestal
  • I'm mor than happy with my riches and honor, you can keep the rest...
  • Yeah, I'm a racist Mexican. Ad yeah, that's me in Croatia (or is it Malta?) downing a frosty. I bought that tikky with my refried beans. No anger here, just more pathetic world wide travel. Enjoy your cubicle!
  • No fun here away, it's like pulling wings off flies. All it is here is vitriol to anyone without hive think. Enjoy the Matrix drones.!
  • No I came in here and got bored, I usually do with those of the minds of 14 YO schoolyard talkers
  • Hmmmm, have a great attorney, a super smart investment counselor, a dynamite accountant, all my bankers know me by my first name, a platinum health plan and a brilliant travel agent. Thanks anyway, I don't think I need much more help.
  • Sorry, kiddo, every word above is true. Enjoy your cubicle!

It was awfully nice of him to take some time from his world travels to come down to Loserville and enlighten us poor slobs we've been played for fools by his fellow rich people. Still, the best thing about having a lot of money is that you don't need to give two shits about anyone else, which is why the economic policies of the Obama administration and those of the Trump administration are exactly the same, sheeple. We'd surely see that, had we reached the heights of success like WhitewaterMkII has achieved! Guess we'll just stew in class hatred instead.

Would you believe we still have some Grade-A Stupid left over from the outpouring of angry on that piece about James O'Keefe's brilliant takedown of CNN? As you'll recall, O'Keefe proved the network's liberal bias with several clandestine recordings of office talk from eight years ago, including one in which an editor cited the century-old line that a newspaper's job is to "comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable." Our making fun of O'Keefe inspired a multi-topic rant from "youse," who was just sick of all the liberal bias, and of pretty much everything they could drag in:

I do not understand the sarcasim, the Fake outrage,at what this journalist has uncovered. We all know that CNN is biased, corrupt and filled with hate, followed by MSNBC. Fox is starting to mimic. I really cannot believe the stupidity (as pointed out to us by Obama, faker in cheif, and his framer of the disasterous Obamacare, Jonathan Gruber) of so many of the American voters. We were all in the hands of the progressives for eight years and the most corrupt administration our country has endured, yet liberals bought into every lie that ever came out of the Whitehouse during those eight years and lifted up their idol, Barack Obama. He was not impeached because he was black. What a brilliant tactic of the progressives to use him for their ideology! Anyone caught disagreeing would be branded a racist. More than half of legal American voters endured those eight years as adults. How do you all like our new every day living with Obama and his progressives preventing President Trump from having the same curtesy given the last inept president. Just love all the phony protests, the hatred, the lack of respect, the yelling and screaming and the FAKE atmoshpere from stirring ignorant people to false anger. Do you really love hating for no good reason so much? Do you really love making the rest of us suffer becausew e do not give in to your every baby need? Most of you Obamaites are just like him, crass, hateful, rude, immature. What a joy.

I guess it's just hard to get through your juvenile rant. You are certainly not a journalist. Very boring, as all rantsa re because it is just an outlet to your pent up anger because you are a mediocre human looking for attention. Please don't give up your assembly line job.

You guys remember all that Obama corruption, don't you, which was never prosecuted simply because he was black -- and if there's one thing the American justice system fails at, it's putting black men in prison. We sure wish we could stop being such haters and talk about politics in a calm tone like "youse."

From "Vinny Vaselino," we received another warning against being hateful:

Typical intolerant liberal loon. What's up with all the visceral hate for people that don't agree with your failed ideology? Did you just find out that the world does not run on rainbows and unicorns tears? Go find your safe place in your transgender bathroom snowflake.

Sign us up for some of that love and kindness, yessir! And yet another sermon on tolerance from "Aj Wallace":

It's only trolling if it's not true. You goofy liberals are indeed useless, horribly confused, naive trash.

If you don't think so then you need to stop protesting when people you don't agree with are due to speak & remove those of your kind that give the rest of us the opinion that you are a useless lot.

"Uncle Dave" weighed in with this critique of our piece on James O'Keefe's attempted journamalism: Something something YOU LOST GET OVER IT!

They are still living in the delusion that Hillary Rodham some how won because NYC and LA voted for her... The rest of the country (Electoral College) doesn't matter.

in the mean time, they are trying to marginalize any thing that may expose their Great and Powerful Oz Show from behind the curtain. 99% of the news media, that is directly or indirectly controlled by George Soros is quickly being exposed and they surely don't like that...!

After a tap with the Banhammer of Loving Correction (© and ™ John Scalzi), he was back, as "Uncle Dave 2," to point out that we clearly couldn't handle the truth:

Thanks Zoomy... No better way to win an argument than to BAN the other side.

I guess you're afraid of any honest interaction. Maybe you know that you HAVE NO ARGUMENT so you crawl in to your safe-space and BAN any differing opinion.

And it's truly amazing how controlling you and this website are. You're showing your Marxist/Communist leanings. Like Hillary having such tight controls on her news image.

So, Bye, Bye Snowflake. I hope you get out of your Mother's basement someday.

Guess he got us there -- we couldn't handle the intellectual heft of his comment, so we banned him like the communists we are. If only we were interested in an honest debate of how George Soros personally controls 99% of the news media!

"Bill" offered this dire warning to a Wonker who predicted a wingnut rant would likely end up in the weekly deleted comments column:

Be careful what you wish for.. Some are just waiting for you fools to destabilize things and are waiting to clean up the mess and those that made it.. It's going to make your little Berkley "protest" look like child's play.

No one is buying the bull dung anymore so you might as well just go home and hide in your little safe space, forever.. Pull the rock back over the top of you while you are at it. We like a clean unblemished world here and ilk like you are no longer welcome.

You are the boy whole cried wolf and guess what, the wolf is here and no one hears your screams of desperation anymore.

That's going to happen if someone earns a spot in Dear ShitFerBrains? Mercy -- we had no idea the Republic was so subject to being destabilized by our little Sunday feature.

Finally, there was "cassisanass." We're not sure what cass ever did to piss this person off -- who went from zero to wackaloon in an astonishingly small number of posts. They started by asking why, if Yr Wonkette really thinks James O'Keefe is such a lousy journalist, we keep posting stories about him?

"Poor irrevelant " yet you have 3 or 4 stories linked to him ? And seemed to be obsessed with trying to take him out. My dad flew bombers in WWII and they used to say "when you are getting the most flak you are close to being over the target. Bombs away! " Plus James almost singlehandedly took down acorn.

Never take yourself, or anyone else, too seriously. Yuk yuk your real world, Websters real world, Trumps real world, my real world, osamas real world. 72 virgin real world? "One who holds his own self importance as if afraid of breaking its real world?

We replied by thanking "cassisanass's" father for his service, and by pointing out that we make fun of O'Keefe precisely because he is so hilariously inept and dishonest, but has convinced plenty of people to give him plenty of money for producing such garbage. Flak? More like cream pies. Oh, but "cassisanass" wasn't fooled, though they appreciated the civil tone of our reply:

I must ask again what the definition of "irrelevant " is to you guys that

Link stories ,,,

give credit. And seem obsessed with this guy. Even credit for taking down Obamas old employer acorn. And I would also say to doc zoom thanks for respecting my dad. They were just out of high school, got 20 hours of flight instruction and had to solo and then learn how to go to war against old Adolph and co. I was a young buck, grew up in the sixties, fell asleep at the wheel and rolled the car that we were going to Woodstock. Was a lib. Still am a classic lib. But I am a musician, build instruments. Woodworking for people you would know or know their name. Where did we part ways. I love the Truth. Only agenda. Must say, have run my own bidness ( my grandpa ) for 45 years, so I might not love the gov as much as you

Any.way Thanks for more civility than I expected. You can teach an old dog

Yes, another of those "classic liberals" who spends most of their time at Breitbart and believes George Soros is behind everything. We aren't sure John Stuart Mill ever addressed those sneaky one-world government billionaires who REALLY run things. We noted that O'Keefe largely "brought down" ACORN through videos full of deceptive editing, and that one of the people he misrepresented sued for defamation -- O'Keefe settled for $100,000 (Also, no, ACORN was never Barack Obama's "employer," though he did argue a voting rights case in which they were the lead of six plaintiffs). O'Keefe was sued? Big deal, "cassisanass" confidently replied:

Anyone can bring up bogus lawsuits . Make an honest look at Al Sharpton, or Jesse nnnJackson to know about the shakedown street that brother Jerry Garcia was trying to warn you about

Bogus lawsuits that result in $100K payouts are a tad rare, we'd suspect. Especially when they include the defendant issuing an apology to the plaintiff for "any pain suffered by Mr. Vera or his family."

After a day or so, "cassisanass" returned, apparently having read up on O'Keefe's recent great success in getting a couple of Democratic consultants -- who were not part of the Clinton campaign, but worked for pro-Clinton groups -- to quit their jobs after he caught one bragging about dirty tricks and the other seeming to be open, maybe, to fraudulent voter registration, if you interpret the jump-cuts the way O'Keefe wants you to. For some reason, "cassisanass" only mentioned the second guy, Robert Creamer (who resigned from Democracy Partners), not Scott Foval, who quit Americans United For Change after all his unsubstantiated bragging about coordinating disruptions of Donald Trump's Chicago rally. Maybe "Creamer" is a better name to make fun of:

  • I was eating mushrooms with Robert Creamer, and we were talking about how irrelevant old James O'Keefe is. Sorry, it won't happen again
  • Robert Creamer. Hillary Clinton puppet.
  • Look into it. Much fraud. Clinton. Creamer.
  • Dip the tip

    Of my truth arrows in honey so you guys won't have to invent definitions. Irrevelant ? NPR. Creamer. Okeefe now redefine irrevelant for. What you say? Rednecks, oh trumpets. Still, you do protest too much [odd line break in original -- Dok Z]

By now, poor "cassisanass" was no longer even making much sense, so it was time for a mercy banning. Still, credit where it's due: "Dip the tip of my truth arrows in honey" sounds like dialogue from the Log Lady on Twin Peaks, and that was a fine note to go out on. The owls are not what they seem. Dip the tip of my truth arrows in honey.

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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