Totally not fair. Princess Sunbutt is white, and many of her best friends are pastel.

Happy "Big Game Sunday" -- as all the ads which haven't paid the necessary licensing fee must call it -- O ye Wonkers! Are you rooting for the one team of giant men who will suffer permanent brain damage for America's amusement, or for the other one? We sure hope the team you support wins, proving the superiority of your Metro Area over all the rest of the nation!

Our weekly Flushing of the Trolls begins with one of those weird things where a months-old story inexplicably gets a brand-new comment. For some reason, our December story about the terrible mean black lady CEO of Sam's Club, who hates all whites (which means she said something about diversity being a good thing) spurred "Don Corleone" (with the amusing email address schadenfreude123@[redacted]) to wax wroth, even though wroth isn't all that hairy to start with:

White, middle aged people are dying at an alarming rate, higher than ever in history, and a lot of it has to do with being pummeled by a lifetime of this "blame whitey" crap. Not to mention seven years of Obama blaming whites for every ill in the world. Can't wait for January 2017 when we are finally rid of this curse on America.

[contextly_sidebar id="hh3i3rLtzHJvXCJpXUIZ0Ha116iFzOQp"]Yup, the minute Obama leaves office, racism will finally be over, and white people will finally be able to keep living. We have to question Mr. Corleone's medical insight here; there is definitely a demographic trend that bears some resemblance to what he's talking about, but of the reasons posited for the higher death rate among middle-aged white Americans (mostly diet and higher suicide and drug addiction rates), we haven't seen "Blame Whitey" as a significant cause. Probably because the researchers are covering it up! The commies behind the research think it has something to do with economics, so maybe it's all those blacks taking white jobs that Jesse Helms warned us about.

While we were at it, we looked back at the Sam's Club piece and found a few new idiots had come along since it was posted, including a thoughtful analysis by one "B.J. Moose," who had better not be a Rocky & Bullwinkle fan, or we will personally send the ghost of Jay Ward to lecture him on not being a damn bigot. Says Mr. Moose, whose comment history is also quite the delight to read:

So now the liberals and blacks are going to bed f'g lecturing me about being thin skinned after constant and endless 24/7 horseshit about "racism" and "white privilege" and "microagressions" and whatever other bs newspeak words they invent! Kiss my ass! I went in to sams club last week and turned in my membership card and got my years dues refunded no questions asked. You don't like white men, bitches, you don't need white customers. The dump is half empty already. I hope it goes belly up.

Guess he taught THEM a lesson. In a follow-up comment, he also complained about our stupid piece of shit site's refusal to allow him to edit a typo in his comment ("be" not "bed"), because his Smart White-Person Brain didn't notice the "edit" button immediately below the comment. So give him credit: He can spell, but he's not especially observant.

And yet another equality advocate, one "Sean McDonald," did some nice hand-wringing about the clear bias at Wonkette, since the article mocked white people but not The Blacks:

Good about time someone stands up. Racism is just ignorant. But I have seen if you make fun of blacks it's wrong, and if it's opposite to whites it's okay. No it's not okay...unless both are in a joking manner IMO. In this day and age no one has the right to play any race card. And as for a table full of whites opposed to diversity, who really cares? Hire people that can do the actual job besides picking people based on skin color.

We imagine that he is a lot of fun at parties, where he shouts "NI**ER!" and then says, "It's OK, I make fun of everybody, Spics, Micks, and Chinks, too! Where's your sense of humor?"

[contextly_sidebar id="x07PKjAQU2i7xU8HQEQwbMNOJfGHYyzP"]Evan's recent story on Matt Drudge's gift of an expensive house to his completely straight male roommate of 11 years must have made it onto some Drudge Fan Facebook page, because a few days after it went up, it was blessed with a bunch of comments like this, from "Jasonm1980":

It's spelled T R A D I T I O N A L, Evan Hurst. You moron. You're just jealous that Drudge has a superior website, compared to Wonkette, which is a gay rag.

Yep, everyone loves that fresh-from-1995 look of the Drudge Report, for sure. Another Jason, this one "JasonX," found the whole story unsettling:

I think the author's strange obsession with Drudge and his sexual orientation is, well, "creepy". What a "weird" and very homophobic story.

Yup, few bigger homophobes out there than Evan Hurst, you got that right. Not that anyone who replied to the piece has a problem with The Gays, certainly not "NotAFacebookUser," who simply added,

You sure talk about gay stuff a lot...I'm just sayin'

Wow, it's almost as if NotAFacebookUser thinks Evan might be gay, and that that might be something to be worried about? He's only saying!

The gross homophobia of the story was also upsetting to "Harmless Immigrant," who is astounded that liberals even care about sexuality:

Libs are so Obsessed with someone's sexual preference. There's no privacy if you're a celebrity. They actually take great pride in outing someone, which I could never figure out.

The only thing I can get from that is misery loves company.

A few people took the time to note that it's not liberals who are fighting to end marriage equality or to give restaurants the right to kick out anyone suspected of doing the wrong things with their genitalia, but come on, mostly we simply can't thinking about gay sex, that must be it. "Edkosky" got right to the root of the problem: Liberals hate gays, apparently.

Why in HEAVEN'S name would ANY tolerant, peace-love-dove liberal care in the least about anyone else's private life. Isn't what goes on in the bedroom, or any other room, one's own business. Jason X below nails it. Interesting little visit here on the way to finding the DRUDGE report As Ted Cruz said, Thank GOD for Drudge. ELK (USNA '68)

Gosh, that's nice. A crazed liberal noted that maybe it had something to do with "pointing out the right's hypocrisy," seeing as how it's not generally liberals trying to criminalize an entire class of people for who they love, but Ed wasn't having any of it; he knows a hypocrite when he sees one:

Not withstanding the fact that you display that remarkable capacity of liberals to read the minds and access the character of conservatives..."Harmless Immigrant" (above) reiterates my point perfectly. We on the "right" as you describe us have no choice but to react to the standard modis operendi of the left to politicize even the most intimate aspects of human nature. My final word to you, from Proverbs 18:2 "A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion." Cheers and God bless you and yours. ELK (USNA '68 and SWBTS '86).

In addition to listing the year he went to the Naval Academy, Ed further buttressed his argument by adding that he was also "SWBTS '86," which we were too lazy to look up and learn that it's the Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, where we're certain gay people are perfectly welcome. Or not. And where they apparently don't teach Latin, either, since we know that the modis operendi of the Romans was homosexx.

And finally, a note from "JamesD2011," whose avatar can't decide whether Obama is Pinocchio or Nixon:

Not sure how I fell into this cesspool but dang, a hateful muck diving rant by another representative of the oh so tolerant frothing mouth left.Drudge rolls, you drool.

It's really sort of sad when a wingnut can't even get a simple adolescent insult right, innit?

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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