It was a tie between this and a guy with a sign saying 'Bring Me A Shrubbery.' But that one was out of focus.


It was a weird week for deleted comments. We had a lot more than usual, thanks especially to a guy who may have set a record for most troll posts before getting deleted -- roughly 200 mostly one-line gobbets of idiocy. For some reason, this was the week for serious freakouts about how The Gays are ruining America, starting with some reactions to our story on a Tennessee proposal to wish the Supreme Court's marriage equality decision into the cornfield. "LiberalsHateAmerica" offered some perfectly fascinating insights:

  • To normal, healthy people, wanting to shove one's turgid love muscle into another man's bleeding sphincter is a mental illness. To liberals, it's an example of courage.
  • Only in liberal la la land is one dude shoving his flaming appendage into another man's enlarged b*tthole a "courageous" move.
  • Liberals believe the following is in the Constitution:

    "A well stretched out b*tthole, being necessary to the pleasure of a free state, the right of deviant men to b*gger other men in the a** shall not be infringed."

  • The debate shouldn't be about whether homosexuals should be allowed to get "married," but whether they should be allowed to exist at all. And the answer to that is no. Open homosexuals should be rounded up and put into concentration camps. From there, they should be allowed to choose execution by gassing or electricity.
  • Liberals don't believe there is a fundamental right to keep and bear arms, but DO believe there is a fundamental right of a woman to vacuum her baby's brain out because bringing it to term would be inconvenient, and for a man to insert his raging member into another man's rear end and call it "consummating a marriage."
  • What benefit does society gain from giving "marriage" license to men who think it appropriate to park their infected c**** into other men's a***oles?
  • Why do liberals think that one man violently ramming his throbbing member into another man's rect*m and slamming it against his prostate while screaming loudly in ecstasy and releasing gallons of sticky, greasy splooge deep inside as the adopted children sleep next door in the "family" home qualifies as a "courageous expression of love?"

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We get the feeling that "LiberalsHateAmerica" spends an awful amount of time thinking about buttsex, is what we think. Not too surprisingly, he also doesn't like a whole bunch of other people, either!

Obama's base consists of the following groups:

Blacks who want welfare and racial preferences, Hispanics who want welfare, racial preferences, and amnesty for everyone with brown skin, limp wristed homosexuals who want their deviant lifestyle validated by society, single women who want society to pay for their birth control pills and abortions, union th*gs who want to legally extort as much as possible from the taxpayers, reform "Jews" whose "practice" of Judaism consists of bashing Christianity and whining about the Holocaust, unemployed people whose idea of a job search is sending their resumes written on a napkin to two random companies per week, jihadist Muslims who take advantage of the left's idea of tolerance (even for people who want to kill them), atheists who are offended by a God they say doesn't exist, people who think guns are evil and that murder is impossible without them, environmentalists who think that a winter storm is proof of global warming, pathetic lazy losers who worship recreational drug use, and finally, disingenuous white liberals who use the others as pawns to gain power. In other words, parasites who make America worse.

If that sounds an awful lot like cut-and-paste teabagger idiocy to you, it also sounded like cut-and-paste teabagger idiocy to other commenters, who googled a bit and pointed out that the very same comment could be found all over the web. LHA insisted that he'd come up with it all by his very own self:

I came up with it originally. People have copied me. What can I say? I speak the truth.

We're perfectly willing to believe that LHA did indeed write that comment himself, because when we did a bit of searching, we found that it had been posted by a whole bunch of "other people." People with Disqus usernames like:

ExtremelyConservativePatriot

WantsAllLiberalsInDeathChamber

RightWingAvenger

DemocrapsAreWorthless

LiberalsShouldBeCyanided

RapeAndPillageLiberals

LiberalsAreEvilPeople

WillFightTheLeftToTheEnd

LiberalsAreNotPatriots

And that's only a sampling. Would you be astonished to learn that virtually all of these completely different people's comment histories are full of variations on the phrase "one man (verbing) his (slang term for peener) into another man's (slang term for fartbox)" and how that is something terribly damaging to America? So not only is this twit an unoriginal dickweed, he's also an unoriginal dickweed with something like twenty Disqus accounts, several no longer active. He may not be very bright, but you have to at least acknowledge his commitment.

Despite his fondness for copypasta, LHA did at least take the time for a few replies to other comments (which aren't allowed in the first place), like this knee-slapper in response to a reader who said "It pains me that I spent years of my life freezing my ass off in Germany and Korea protecting the unworthy such as this moran."

Interior decorating the barracks after the repeal of DADT doesn't count as military service, you queer.

We would feel sorry for LHA's family, but we're guessing he's really married to his cause. Which is an intensely stupid cause.

We think that, with roughly 200 comments in a few hours, A Idiot posting as "lonestar91" may have set a Wonket Record for most posts by one moran in a single day, although we don't actually keep track. They were all in reply to two stories by Evan: our piece on the terrifying prospect of the Duggars returning to TV, and the story of the Catholic boys' school in TennesseeĀ that went nuts when a student asked a boy from another school to the prom. The saddest thing about lonestar91's epic run of comments was that it was not especially quotable. You get a pretty clear sense of his thought processes from just a few of the things:

  • Gays are pretty bad they use threats and lies to silence opposition
  • You sre a degenerate homosexual why would i ever take moral advice from you?
  • And the lgbt community is filled with pedophiles. Nambla was a big member of pride until the 80s
  • You support degenerates you are one of them
  • I dislike all degenerates, baby killers drug addicts, ect. Gays are just the loudest
  • Look it up you have googl
  • Jeez you gays are a violent uppity bunch
  • Gays are mentality ill, at least we agree on that
  • Still does not change the fact homosexuals are dangrous around kids and have a serious std problem. The cdc did a great study
  • Correcting grammar is a sign, shows you admit defeat
  • Im just out to protect kids from people like you.

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Strangely, while he asserted several times that he was definitely not a Christian, lonestar91 also insisted that a couple of other commenters couldn't possibly be Christians, since of course they were defending gay rights, and real Christians can't do that:

  • You are not a Christian at all, even i know the bible says homosexuality is a sin and is wrong.
  • Also im aware of the sin of pride. Which group is super pridful about a sin?
  • You support lgbt you are not a Christian. You are not a Christian, why do you lie about being one?
  • You are not a Christian your prayers goes to no one. You are an offense to real Christian people
  • you are not Christian, you support lgbts. That is a sin in the bible
  • No the bible is clear on the issue, as i said im not a Christian. I wouldnt be going around lying like you saying i am one. Jesus to my knowledge said leave the life of sin and sin no more. Moron

And of course, ultimately it came back to the buttsex and the alleged threat to children. Yes, in a story about a straight guy who molested his own sister, lonestar91 kept asserting that The Gays are all out to do bad things to children:

  • Homosexual sex? Have you ever read how dangrous it is? Just because two adults say do it does not make it ok. Consenting adults do crack, but they are consenting so hey dangrous drugs are ok. In your eyes
  • I think its funny that liberals keep talking about the duggars. When in reality the lgbt community is filled with many more child predators. Kinda hypocritical dont you think?
  • homosexuals go after the teen community, a very confused and vulnerable part of society
  • Irrelevant it takes two genders to produce offspring. Natures plan is hetero

Also, he proved that "homophobia" is not really a word because it was coined in the 1970s by homosexuals, SO THERE. The accurate term, he suggested, would be "banana crammers." We have to confess that we would love to see this guy locked in a room for a few hours with a dozen linguistics professors, but we can't think of any linguistics profs we hate that much.

The story on the Catholic school also elicited some wisdom from a nice fellowposting as "larryx;" we never knew that Malcolm had a dumb, homophobic brother. At least he was brief:

  • Live in a sick society so expect this kind of crap. Now that the perverts control not just the press but also the government, there is no way to protect your children from becoming sex freaks since that is now the 'in' thing in the young crowd and remaining a person who believes in God can get one into trouble.So as one wise person said, 'If you don't believe in Hell, God will bring it to you'. Sodom and Gomorrah may just come back to haunt the USA.
  • you seem to really have problems and I don't know if the AIDS make you mentally challenged or you were like that when you chose to be a gay.

Frankly, after the epic spews of lonestar91 and LiberalsHateAmerica, we have to say that those were pretty sad efforts. Is larryx even trying at all? Where's the lengthy meditation on people doing sex in the butt? We're starting to doubt his commitment to the cause, really.

We also had some interesting deleted weirdness from a Trump supporter who knows everything -- she explained that she very conveniently happened to be a former liberal democrat (and ACLU/NAACP member) who has extensively studied Islam, travelled in Kenya, and also worked as an Equal Opportunity Officer, and knows for sure that Trump supporters are not bigots. Should we find ourselves willing to revisit her madness, we may throw a bonus midweek Dear ShitFerBrains at you. Or we may just never mention her again.

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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