What's Pony Hillary drinking? A Bloody Mare-y, of course.


There was no shortage of Deep Stupid in our deleted comments this week, so let's wade right in! Please remember your HAZMAT suit, and make sure you're up to date on your shots. And possibly your liquor stockpiles.

Our story on Maureen Dowd's bizarre column accusing Hillary Clinton of getting "goo" all over the purest folks in Washington by not being an actual criminal -- shame on her! -- drew the usual crowd of folks who think Hillary Clinton is very ooky indeed, including one "Rick Manigault," an Alex Jones fan whose politics are rather difficult to figure out. Rather than "left" or "right," we think we'll go with "delusional":

Trump is the lesser of evils, I only support him because he's antiwar, an issue you care nothing about.

That's simply... not even wrong. We can only assume that because Trump has lied about having always opposed the Iraq War and U.S. intervention in Libya, Rick assumes he's some kind of Gandhi or something. It must hurt to live inside Rick's head. A few other thoughts from "Rick Manigault," who apparently thinks Donald Trump, Bernie Sanders, and Jill Stein all agree with each other, and most importantly, with Rick Manigault. Who may or may not agree with himself:

  • This place is batshit establishment, excuse the language, just trying to fit in. "Jizzing" is the high minded commentary I've been waiting for.
  • Trumps stance on torture is despicable! Not as bad as Hillary's foreign policy record thoug.
  • 2008 should have sent a clear message about Hillary's brand of centrism. 8 years later you put up the same failed neocon agenda? Real liberals have already made it clear. Jill Stein or bust.
  • I am above blood thirsty warmongers and Wall Street supremacist.

    Trump might do the right thing, while Hillary has promised war and increased corporate profits.

  • When Trump wins I will come back here to blaim YOU specially, for not knowing about, and supporting Jill Stein.
  • Dowd is a brilliant journalist fighting against evil centrist, who should be in jail.

"Rick Manigault's" Disqus history is a trainwreck of contradictions, as you might expect from a guy who seems genuinely torn between the fascist and the Green, and not at all like a paid Trump operative.

Commenter "ytubepuppy" was at least succinct in their criticism of the same piece:

Did Evan Hurst actually get paid to write this Hillary crotch-lick fest?

We checked: He did! Glad we could be of service.

Grim Citizen was similarly terse:

Maureen Dowd is right. And this site sucks.

There were a few other deletia from people who really thought Dowd was on target, which leads us to the frightening conclusion that Maureen Dowd has a posse. This is in some ways more frightening than someone thinking Donald Trump is a peacenik.

"Ima Lindatoo" didn't care one bit for our piece on Sarah Palin lecturing The Blacks about how Martin Luther King would have simply despised Black Lives Matter, because of the only line from King's "I have a Dream" speech that wingnuts can remember. You see, ImaLindatoo happens to know that Sarah Palin is right, as she is about pretty much everything, and if The Blacks disagree, that's merely because The Blacks are such racist simpletons they can't see reality right in front of their eyes. Playing off our headline, "Sarah Palin Is Pretty Sure She Knows More About Martin Luther King Than You Do," ImaLindatoo explains why The Blacks are too incredibly stupid to stop falling for liberal racism:

She's not pretty sure, it's a definite. It's a given. Ignorant Blacks in the Democrat party don't know they're part of the party that was for Slavery, KKK and no voting rights. Sarah is a VERY smart woman. Even liberal Historians hate admitting she's ALWAYS right. Deal with it!

Oh dear. Points off for forgetting Robert Byrd! She then replied to herself:

Oh, all ya'll just prove my points so well. Truth hurts you, don't it. Desperate to try to be a political op to try to spin.

I appreciated the laugh.

But in all seriousness, you all should stop playing childish games and LEARN about reality...you'd would benefit.

And...the so unKOOOlest G that excuse making must have really hurt. Psst, Republicans had BLACKS way before ya'll Democrat Plantation decided to bring on Barry, I mean, BARACK. Stop being so racist. Learn, educate yourself, MOVE ON.

Ciao!

Guess she told us! Although we have no idea what it was, especially "the so unKOOOlest G that excuse making must have really hurt." Wut? We do rather wish she'd told us who these liberal historians are who agree that Sarah Palin is ALWAYS right -- our guess is that maybe she remembers some liberal historian who said that, yes, technically, Paul Revere was warning the militia in Concord that the British were planning to raid an armory, which is sort of the same as "takin' our guns." So indeed, ALWAYS RIGHT.

Last Week's "Dear ShitFerBrains" brought what we're pretty sure was a return engagement from a sockpuppet account created by one of the folks we wrote about in the column itself. Clues that "Wonker" was a sockpuppet: 1) The vehement defense of a single deleted commenter, "Dalton," with whom "Wonker" happened to be in complete agreement; B) the account was created that Sunday morning, and contains only the two comments "Wonker" managed to post before being banned again (and had an IP address in Moldova, which suggests they were using a proxy server); and III) "Wonker" sounded a hell of a lot like "Dalton," only way more verbose. In any case, the comments were pretty awesome:

So your chief wonkette garbage spewer bans Dalton while using his remarks in a story? If one thing I've learned after being enraged as fools in America sit by and not only watch their Constitutional republic and the rule of law that they take for granted, but cheer on the criminals that rip the law to shreds, is that at some point it's hopeless to have dialogue. I think Dalton is one who expresses the frustration of watching liberals do exactly what they accuse others of TRYinG to do -- impost their ideas on others, and every one of you sheeple who laugh as if you've won something, will one day have the country you deserve.

Do I really care what any of you think? nah. I prefer not to hide my disgust with liberal socialist marxists who have sowed so much confusion and demoralization in the nation, that you've granted the federal government -- a bunch of bureaucrats that you never see -- the power to dictate that black is white, man is woman and wrong is right, as you blindly follow while laughing as if this is all a game.

The current state of government that routinely ignores the laws and has no accountability is made more corrupt when the people like you clap and cheer when they get away with wrongdoings and when their lack of integrity while serving in positions of public trust, are ignored as if it doesn't matter -- which of course doesn't to most of you. When you one day lose all trust in the government you've helped create from your own lack of integrity and willingness to laugh while "your side" gets away with ignoring the rule of law that defines a lawful society, you'll finally "get it" but then it really won't matter because it will be too late to stop what you unleash.

It seems Evan was unable to handle the criticism of one person who showed his disgust at his version of truth and did what all liberals do -- ban something, as if the root cause is fixed, only to find out their ignorance and intolerance IS the cause. Funny! Dalton has it right.

We're looking forward to the newly created account that shows up and says "Hey, Dalton and Wonker had really good points, and you guys are censors! Also, now that we look at it again, we're convinced we were wrong in thinking that Dalton/Wonker was calling Yr Dok Zoom "the "chief wonkette garbage spewer" -- sure, I actually did the deleting, but DalWonk thought it was Evan. So, darn, even if I am a liberal socialist marxist who imposts my views on innocent readers and sows demoralization in this nation, I'm not the chief one. That would be Evan. Wonkette regrets the error. Also, I was the walrus. Paul wasn't the walrus. I was just saying that to be nice, but I was actually the walrus. What we are getting at here is that genius is pain.

Also, we should note that WonkTon had some deeply serious thoughts about the longterm effects of Hillary Clinton's escape from justice over her emails: It killed people.

I think a better example is set by the Democrats in Congress, the ones that are supposed to uphold the Constitution and behave as leaders of a nation that is supposed to be respectful of the laws of the land, when they themselves believe the way to show their leadership is to break the rules and "laws" of the institution they are entrusted to represent the people in when passing legislation which they hope the people will abide by. And what if the answer for society was to not live by the rules of society but to rule by activism? Then we get what happened in Dallas. Pure and simple. If you're unable to reasonably understand this, then you're really part of the problem.

You see? It's exactly like how teaching evolution causes terrorism by telling people they're only amoral animals. If a Secretary of State has a private email server and the director of the FBI determines that it falls short of being prosecuted as a misdemeanor, then police officers will inevitably be murdered. The logic is obvious. (We're going to hold off for now on sharing any other deleted comments about the Dallas shootings; we got a ton of them about how Barack Obama somehow insulted the murdered officers by praising them for protecting protesters exercising their rights -- but given the news from Baton Rouge, which is still developing, today isn't the day for that.)

We'll close with one last comment from "Dalton" which we somehow missed the first time around: a thoughtful and HILARIOUS critique of our lovely and timely "Truck Fump" t-shirts:

The person wearing the shirt is about the prettiest liberal I've seen, but she's probably a transgender so I'm uncertain how to address her? ze? non-gender? binary? help me out here .. I'm paying extra for personal delivery so I need to know before I order a shirt..

Haw haw! Liberals are usually so ugly! Also, pointless rant about trans people. We really feel bad that we've cut ourselves off from Dwanklton's genius.

[Image swiped from “Pixelkitties” on derpibooru]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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