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Yr Wonkette was treated to a "raid" by some sad keyboard neo-nazis this week, because they objected to our disparagement of their new war-word, "Cuckservative" -- that is, a conservative who's been cuckolded by dangerous liberal tendencies like not being a white supremacist. They didn't try anything quite so ambitious as a denial of service attack on our servers; rather, a bunch of wingnuts from a white-power blog's comments invited themselves over to post comments on our article so they could set us dumb liberals straight. And thus they would win the Internet!


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The "raid" was announced by site moderator "Meow Blitz" (avatar: a kittycat with a Nazi officer's cap) in a comment on an unrelated post at The Right Stuff:

****ACHTUNG! TRSEF****

Wonkette has referenced TRS and Atlantic Centurion. They need a good raid (Disqus) but keep in mind that they are liberal snark level 6 trillion. The only response is to outsnark them.

Isn't that cute? They have runes and EVERYTHING

What's weird here is that our article on cuckservative as an epithet didn't actually mention either of those blogs, but maybe we quoted someone they like, or they feel a sense of ownership toward the phrase. And now that we've gone and referenced them again, they'll probably try another "raid," at least those who haven't already been tapped by the Banhammer of Loving Correction.

Most of the replies to that call for action were a mix of play-warrior tuff talk and 4chan idiocy: "moving out!" "I've deployed, going for a subversive approach" and -- our favorite -- Meow Blitz's reference to doing "recon" on Wonkette to get a better sense of what we're all about (conclusion: "folks too maxtreme for Gawker"). By "recon," we suppose he meant he looked us up on Wikipedia. Gotta say, though, their own OpSec wasn't so great, considering that, in his first post on our little mommyblog, recipe hub, and leftist pony collective, Meow Blitz had to go and brag about whence he came:

Gas the cuckservatives! Meme war now! Agent of http://therightstuff.biz/ reporting in.

Guess you have to leave your signature when you're doing a blogwar; it did make it nice and easy to find our happy neo- Nazi visitors, who then reported back to their blog their puzzlement at being IP banned immediately after leaving a comment. Why, it was almost as if Wonkette moderators were looking at their page and knew exactly who to delete.

So what kinds of mayhem did they wreak on our flimsy liberal lies? The most successful of the trolls, "TRV Dante," who got in a dozen comments before being banhammered, explained that it's all about saving the White Race, and that our puny accusations of "racism" mean nothing to them:

You guys do realize that calling someone racist isn't really an effective insult, right? I'm a racist. I'm not going to deny it, I have no problem admitting it. I'm pretty open and active with my racism, just like I am my homosexuality or my disabilities or my nerdy hobbies. It's just a part of who I am and I'm not going to be shamed into silence.

Yay, so proud n white n gay. TRV Dante also corrected some misinformation in others' comments, like pointing out that the Tea Party is too wussy for the hardcore nationalists who will surely triumph someday:

  • The Tea Party is pretty much exactly what it looks like- jingoistic flag-waving neocons. You show a tea partier even a fairly moderate paleoconservative like the average Taki's writer and they'd flip their shit. Show them a full-fledged fascist or national socialist and they'd melt down so hard that you'd think they posted here.
  • [in reply to someone who pointed out that lots of traditional Klanners don't consider Catholics "Christian" at all:] No, actually there's a major Catholic userbase in the alt-right, especially in the reactionary wing. Orthodox Christianity is also really big as well. You've got your sprinkling of Baptists too, but the average right-winger loathes low-church Protestantism.

    I do assume you know enough theology to understand why things are that way, correct?

  • I was hoping more for a National Front or a KKK that isn't dominated by the FBI, but I can settle for John Birch too, I guess.
  • No one actually cares about Trump's policies aside from the "fuck Mexicans" stance. We care about using Trump as a tool to move the overton window to the right for once.
  • The average citizen is seeing the racist side of conservatism and liking it. Traffic to WS/WN racialist sites is booming. The alternative right is growing. Donald Trump is the front-runner because people are sick and tired of these Mexicans jumping the border. People like what we have to offer them.

"Lawrence Murray" explained why White Nationalists -- the last real conservatives -- have just had it with the Republican Party:

Republicans who support strong border controls for Israel and weak borders for the United States are quite simply, sellouts. If the majority of POC don't vote conservative and the majority of immigrants are POC and Republicans allow them to pour in, there won't be a Republican party much longer.

Gosh, that almost seems like a case for Republicans to modify their politics to recognize that appealing only to angry white males is a losing strategy. Hahaha, we are joking! The obvious solution is to Make America White Again, to coin a phrase.

Zombie Forrest was Quite Upset at the rude tone of many comments at yr Wonkette, and also objected to our closed-mindedness:

  • Can you critique White nationalism without the name calling? Should be easy, right?
  • If you live in an echo chamber, you won't even understand what the right is.
  • It's not racist to demand that your politicians stop playing to emotion. Facts aren't racist or sexist.

"Simon Eliot" was pretty impressive, posting an 1100-word comment full of statistics proving that The Blacks do crime all out of proportion to their percentage of the population, and also have higher testosterone levels and lower IQs, so there. Eleven hundred words.

"Salzburger," the guy who said he was going for a "subversive approach," had this very cunning, witty reply to someone who wished all the racists would just go away and make their own ethnic paradise on a remote island:

I agree, there's just no space for white people in our tolerant, progressive society. Maybe we could give them Alaska or send them to British Columbia in Canada.

Ooh, did you see how he was subversive and pointed out that it's hypocritical to talk about diversity and tolerance while not liking racists? Good thing we deleted that one, or we'd have been burned by our shame.

"Abe Fuxmen" (get it? GET IT?!?), whose avatar is a silhouette of a Scary Jew, replied to the same comment with some really sophisticated sarcasm:

This is on the mark. The vast majority of "white" history involves large numbers of poor, uneducated white refugees pouring into the advanced, successful nations built by negroes, muslims, and mestizos.

"Vanitas," who said back home at The Right Stuff that "if anyone deserves the oven, it's Wonkette commenters," didn't like the mean word some Wonketteers used for the Tea Party folks who first used it:

Teabaggers, wow, did you make that up all by yourself, or are you parroting the TeeVee in a crippled attempt to appear clever? Not that "teabagging" has any sort of meaningful critic behind it. I thought you guys were in favor of all forms of deviant sexuality anyway? Are you slandering your own allies?

And yet, referencing the slapping of testicles against the face of a man in an act of homosexuality, as with your favorite term "teabagging" is the wholesome mother's milk of progress, right?

Vanitas may need to have a word with TRV Dante about the presence of sexual deviants in the White Power movement, we guess. He also had some other excellent funny comments:

  • Aren't we sensitive. I hope you're pushing out brown children in an orgasmic celebration of diversity.
  • We can't have anybody disagree with our hand clappy sing along. Banning will work until we get the gulags set up.

Just t-t-talkin' bout miscegenation! And as everyone knows, Stalin got his start by deleting comments on websites, and from there, gulags were pretty much a given.

"Northy" complained about liberals' hypocritical double standards:

blacks advocating for their interests = double-plus goodness.

jews advocating for their group interests = double-plus goodness.

Whites advocating for their group interests in the nations that their forefathers built = knotzeeewhowantstokillsixgorillionschosenites!!!11!!

In a similar vein, "Real American" explained to us that racism is only natural, and is what U.S. America is all about (hey, look! Howard Zinn was right!):

I wasn't aware that it was a bad thing to desire white countries to stay white. At 9% of the global population, white people are certainly a minority. The Chinese, Africans, and Arabs all reside in homogeneous homelands. What is immoral about white people desiring that as well?

"NeoNationalist" explained that Republicans aren't racist, and that's the problem:

You guys seem to be confused. You seem to believe that republicans are racists. They're not. They're fapping and crying in the corner while Tyrome inseminates their wives. The mainstream right is no more racist than you. They status signal and self deprecate just as hard as you to avoid saying or doing anything racist.

1Now this young, new "alt-right" if we're really even right wing anymore, I'm not sure if you can really call fascism right wing but I digress. .We actually are racist and we will not cower and fold when you throw your meaningless little words at us.

"Middernacht" had a variation on the theme, explaining that since mean old liberals keep calling Republicans racist, they may as well become racists, and if they do, dumb liberals have no one to blame but themselves, because they respond to everything with emotion instead of reason:

Cuckservatives are just people that think spending hours upon hours trying to convince their opposition that they aren't racist or sexist or whatever is a good idea.

Even though after their hour long speech on being a good boy in the eyes of the extreme left, they get called the exact same as what started it. The left doesn't care, if you're Republican you are racist. You are sexist. You are islamophobic. You are anything-phobic.

They're actively going against their own interests by trying to appeal to people that just scream buzzwords at them and have no understanding of any political topic that does not have to do with feelings.

It sure was nice to see such a reasonable analysis that's untainted by emotionalism. We feel we have learned something.

"Ghostlife" -- who should know better than to use the name of an excellent graphic novel by a damned progressive -- got just plain mean:

what kind of a faggot coalburning kike has a cartoon pony avatar?

That's going a little far. Yr Dok Zoom does not burn coal, because who'd want that carbon hoofprint on their conscience? (Needless to say, we found it on urban dictionary. Charming.)

We did decide to leave exactly one remnant of the raid, by "Gunnar," because we're suckers for an Idiocracy reference:

You write like a fag, and your shit's all retarded.

Gunnar's banned, too, of course; we do have to say that it's rather incredible that a White Power Ranger would find anything to like about a movie that satirizes morons like him. Maybe he thinks Hank Hill is an unironic portrait of Texas Manhood, too.

And finally, "Trenchgun" was the most succinct of all, leaving a comment that only read "Niggers" -- no punctuation there, so we suppose we should be grateful he wasn't shouting.

We suppose that any not-yet-banned members of the Right Stuff Expeditionary Force will probably show up here to squeak about race consciousness, how liberals are ruining America, and so on. Just flag them and we'll clean them up, and please don't go over to their dumb blog to mess with their little bulletheads; they aren't worth it.

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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