Deleted Comments: Yankees Too Dumb To Know They Stoled Old Glory From The Confederate Flag!

Princess Sunbutt Will Rise Again!

One of the joys of comment moderation is finding brand-new comments on a story from years ago, as we did this weekend; some genius calling himself "Michael Johnson" made himself a fresh new Disqus account so he could vent some TRUTH about this trend of Southern states getting rid of their Confederate flags all of a sudden -- without noticing the article was from June 2015. In any case, Mr. "Johnson" wanted to let us know a Southern Man don't need us around, anyhow:

I for one would ABSOLUTELY LOVE, for any one of these pathetic sheeple to bring themself, and whatever they THINK will protect them on down to Dixie Land. And run they're mouth about the southern cross like that. I can guarantee they wouldn't leave in the same condition they arrived!

It would be something I told my southern brothers about for years. LMAO

What we love about this comment is that our Proud Southerner didn't even seem to have noticed that every single example in the article involved southern governors and other officials announcing plans to remove the Treason Flag and other Confederate detritus from their capitol buildings, license plates, and such, following the massacre at Charleston's Emanuel A.M.E. (two years ago yesterday, Jesus). Apparently he seems to think the Citadel is run by damnyankees -- or he saw our headline on Google about Confederate flags and didn't read the article at all. He had other thoughts, too -- some of them in reply to a stupid liberal who called him names because they were stupid and made fun of some typos:

  • Hey dip shit it isn't nor ever was the caise of our resentment toward yankee traitors. It was the continued attack on the southern people after the war was "over". Just keep doin' whatcha do & blame a flag. But when this does all finally create the conflict they are hoping for, it won't be our stars, & bars shooting at ya. LMAO
  • Yankees will never ever really beat us! Because you'll never be able to annihilate the rebellion. You're all a bunch of tyrants come get my flag, & be introduced to another close personal friend of the south; a rifle. Sissies!
  • As far as I'm concerned I could careless or even take anything derogatory you say as a complement. Seeing how you went to a government school and perceive it as an education. I despise such lame ignorance with a passion! The WORLD literally gets dumber ever time you utter a word. For the love of life lady SHUT THE HELL UP ? hahaha
  • Just displaying my southern pride and it was the dumb ass autocorrect that was screwing my sentences up in the first place you stupid ass imprudent cunt! Speaking of cowards I'm tired of replying to you "bad ass" telephone tough guys. You wouldn't ever run your sissy ass cock sucker in the south. Lol


    So I'll escape this ignorance before you dumb down retards piss me off. ? Watch out for them terrible flags & Jews they're everywhere!

The strange comment about "Jews" appears to be a reference to something a different late commenter on the piece said; we'll get to that in a moment. The main thing you need to understand is that "Michael Johnson" is a mutimedia troll: mere words alone were insufficient to adequately express his Southern Prod. Prepare to witness the power of his fully armed and operational jpegs:

We were especially impressed by that last one: it takes a truly tough guy to fearlessly post such a sloppily elongated image of an M-16, unafraid of anyone pointing out it's all out of proportion and squooshed. Maybe that's why no one will come and take it. But wait, he had more Proudly Defiant images to shame us stupid Yankees!

Note the broken chain on that "heritage not hate" thing, symbolizing that the white Southerner will no longer be enslaved by political correctness, or maybe that the War of Northern Aggression was never about slavery, or perhaps simply that his underfed pit bull has broken loose again.

At least we can all come together in appreciating a clever dick joke. Especially if it's on a t-shirt. Which he will show to all his friends and they will all laugh and laugh at the hilarity of it all.

Marilyn Monroe is the Statue of Liberty, she has a gun, and she is standing in front of an American flag. If that doesn't say all you need to know about Southern Pride, you probably are a communist.

Before leaving us to stew in our ignorant ignorance, "Michael" had a little bit of True History Science to lay on us -- suggesting he's either incredibly dumb or engaged in 11th-dimensional trolling. (And yeah, there's the Jews thing again; he really latched onto that one). We're leaning toward "actually that dumb," but who knows? It's the internet!

BTW how many Yankees does it take to figure out your stars & stripes was designed after & in the likeness of the stars and bars? The colors and stars were on our flag first. So if you're so offended by the confederate flag I'd suggest you get a new flag.

So worried about those "terrible" Jews that are always blowing themselves up & flying planes into buildings full of people who pose no eminent threat to anyone. You worry about a historical american flag & people who mean you no harm. Mean while you openly support the mass migration of countless possible terrorist into your cities. And when a suicide bomber finds his way into the Sears Tower or flies a plane into the Empire State you'll have to remember it will be because of you & like minded people. You won't be able to point at Jews, Isreal, or rebel flags for that. That'll be on you!

Yes. The Continental Congress stole its design for Old Glory, adopted in 1777, from one of the several flags of a breakaway confederation that lasted from 1861 to 1865. It is believed they borrowed Obama's time machine to commit the intellectual theft. Also, why are we worried about a historical, non-hateful flag saluted by Marilyn Monroe and Jeff Sessions alike when the real problem is all the Muslim terrorists we are welcoming to sit on our laps, HUH? Guess he told us! We have no idea what, but he definitely told us.

Now, for the bit about Jews: "Michael Johnson" was very taken by another latecomer to the post about Confederate flags, a comment from a year ago by one "Joshua Johns," who wanted to take us to task for our hipster commie-chic and all the Che Guevara shirts he just knew we were all wearing. Also, leftists are all anti-Semites since we hate Jews, even when, like Yr Editrix, we are one:

Leave it to the same people who will proudly raise a USSR flag and wear Che Guevara on their shirt to demand the confederate flag come down but defend the right for people to fly the flag of any other country they want. They might get upset if they see a Nazi flag of course while wearing their hammer and sickle or the face of some communist murderer. I'm not talking about the guy who wrote this particular article of course, it's just annoying how hypocritical people can be. Maybe I'll fly an Israeli flag on the back of my truck some time to piss off a liberal since they hate Jews anyway; everything that comes out of a liberal's mouth seems to have something to do with this huge conspiracy about how Zionists are taking over the earth. All I hear is anti Semitism and hate coming out of their mouths; they're practically saying 'crank up the gas' every time they say Zionists are the reason the whole world is screwed up.

Yr Dok Zoom is gratified to know "Joshua Johns" -- who has interesting thoughts on weather control, "Planet 9," and Area 51 as well -- didn't accuse me of wearing a hammer and sickle before launching into a rant about the universal anti-Semitism of liberals. The comment made quite the impression on "Michael," who was apparently instantly convinced that Wonkette readers see evil Jews in the woodwork everywhere, because, after all, he read it on the internet.

One more latecomer to the comments on that story: "Undecider" -- who also likes to explain that nobody died at Sandy Hook -- just wanted us to know we're a bunch of indoctrinated sheep who think we're smart, but are actually being played for patsies by the international Elites who really run things, and somehow keeping the Treason Flag flying is important to resisting the New World Order's attack on our brainspace:

What the editors this site fail to realize is the "Elite" they worship, who masquerade in the American and various European flags, are also a bunch of inbreeds. It's always amazing how the Leftists, Liberals and Progressives try to think of themselves as somehow Elite or "educated." No, they had been indoctrinated during what they thought was education. These folks have their nose high in the air and look down on people who hadn't walked the same ivory halls [of education]. What's needed is to learn how to think. Not, what to think.

Again, all they received was an indoctrination in carefully crafted and rewritten history designed to keep their minds in a box. It's as the captions common to the Confederate flag state, "if this image offends you, you need a history lesson."

Yes, Wonkette, you need a history lesson.

When they can pick off one flag, more will follow. Last to be removed will be the U.S. flag. What will replace it?

Gosh. If only we had learned to think critically, we could see all the connections between the Zionists ("Undecider" doesn't like 'em, so he must be a liberal, like us!) and the fake Sandy Hook massacre, the fake 9/11 attack, the fake history of the Civil War, and of course, the "The Masonic run gay agenda." This person's comment history is worth a visit if only for the vast crank magnetism on display: "Undecider" appears to think Alex Jones has sold out by accepting at least part of the official lies about Sandy Hook. Damn that Alex Jones and his kowtowing to conventional thinking!

As for more recent Wonkets, "KYS Twice" -- your guess is as good as ours -- had quite a lot to say about our story on probable Russian hacking of election-data systems in 39 states. A sampling:

  • GOOD NEWS: Donald J. Trump is now the President of the United States. MAGA
  • Let's see all the evidence you have on Russian influence. Don't be shy. Post it.
  • Trump is THE MAN. You, on the other hand, are the CUCK. Go join Antifa and throw a tantrum, LOSER. lol
  • It's obvious you're a product of public education and very bad parenting. My accept my sympathies.
  • You're liberal, which means you can't win. Liberals are born losers with diminished capacity.
  • Oooo. Generic. Ooooo. Big word from little mind. Ooooo.
  • Do you realize how stupid you are? Oh, wait, stupid jerks like you CAN'T realize how stupid they because they're too STUPID.

We're not sure what we loved most: the one with all the "you're stupid" in it, the notion that "generic" is a fancy-ass elitist vocabulary word used only by pretentious liberals, or the simple fact that all of the above taunts (and a dozen more we didn't include) were posted after "KYS Twice" announced he'd had enough fun showing us to be simpletons, and bade us farewell forever with "Okay, kids, Daddy has work to do. Play nice, now. Buh Bye!" Not that we can really blame the poor snowflake -- Wonkette is addictive, after all.

Finally, this VERY IMPORTANT EMAIL from "John DeH______," who demanded an explanation from us about the lies and misinformation being spread by Wonkette's first editor (2004-2006), who hasn't sullied her keyboard writing for Wonkette for years:

Hello, it came to my attention that the former editor, Ms. Cox, has published inaccurate and incomplete information about the Article V Convention. In this day and age it’s almost impossible to get ahold of media elite. My question is, has Wonkette addressed the issue of a “constitutional convention” and if so, what is its position?


John De H_____

Gosh, someone who hasn't been at this internet establishment in a decade was wrong on the internet, and you'd like to set her straight? Here, let us get right on that for you! We asked if the email at least had an interesting subject heading; Yr Editrix said it was simply "Article V," which was disappointing. Therefore, we'll take Evan's suggestion and tell you all the subject line was really "Article V ... IN YOUR BUTT!"

And that's it for this week's deletia! OK, yeah, we heard from a bunch of White Power Rangers who wanted us to know that the legacy of the asshole who coined the phrase "Anti-racist is a code word for anti-white" would live on forever, because he was right, but fuck them, you know what they said without our needing to copy-paste a single word -- or even 14 words -- of it here. It's Father's Day, and far too nice a day to mess around quoting a bunch of idiots. Err... more than we already have.

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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