Deleted Emails: What Kind Of Socialist Owns A Website, Anyway?
For a change of pace, Yr Dear Shitferbrains is going old school today, without any deleted comments at all, but instead some old-fashioned emails to Yr Editrix and the writing staff. Or maybe, considering the content of the emails, could be we're just going preschool.
Our first missive comes from "Clint G." who has detected a hilarious example of RANK HYPOCRISY ON THE LEFT!!! Clint wrote Yr Editrix with a challenge (heading: "school me" -- that's just sad) because he is far smarter than the lady who calls herself "Commie Girl":
Are you planning on passing the earthly fruits of you labor on to your daughter at some point? From your web page "lives in Montana with her husband and baby daughter, Wonkette's Future Overlord".
I'm seeing a flaw in your communist, anti personal property, you didn't build that philosophy.
Either I can't follow the textured nuances of your brilliant self, or you think you are one of the pigs who is more equal than other pigs. I suspect the latter.
If you ever grow up and/or read a couple of history books you are going to be so embarrassed and ashamed of yourself. Any thinking person who reads your stuff thinks you are a BFJ.
Best of luck...
GOTCHA! You can't be a commie AND say your Wonkette Preschooler will someday own all this, because commies don't believe in personal property, and obviously you are dumm and uneducated and all the other commies will hate you now and you will be one of the first they betray and send to the Gulag, FOOL! We're guessing "BFJ" is "big fucking joke," or maybe "Badass Feminist. Jaded."
Also, gratuitous Animal Farm reference thrown in because everyone knows Soviet socialism is the only way socialism has ever been done, and Scandinavia just plain doesn't exist, and also lifelong socialist George Orwell was a big fan of capitalism, you betcha.
Clearly, we are unable to handle that brilliant gotcha, so instead we'll just offer thoughts and prayers for poor "Clint," that he will not be crushed by that huge New Soviet Strawman.
Update: We have deleted a section of the post dealing with an email sent to Yr Editrix, threatening harm against former Wonkette editor Ana Marie Cox. On reflection; we just plain shouldn't have included it. Wonkette apologizes for having run it at all.
And finally, a couple of emails sent to Evan and Yr Editrix from some dipshit who fancies himself (we'll go out on a limb and guess the gender) quite a wit!
Subject: Your coluimn nailed it!!
Is Whore-ono Flucke Schumer's Hawaiian lei??
Subject: Dowd nails it big time!! [we assume Maureen -- you know, that liberal avatar we all slavishly adore -- Dok]
"Butch" Limpdicus interviews smarmy lesbo, Thunderthighs Clinton...Cankles looked like she had just got out of the sack with Huma, her Weiner......
Damn, dude. Can't see why you're wasting your incredibly sharp satire on a bunch of losers like us. Time for you to apply for a gig at Daily Caller or Gateway Pundit.
When the going gets weird, Yr Wonkette keeps you going. Send money to keep US going!
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.