Oh, golly, kids, did WE ever get an assload of butthurt feedback from Wingnut America after our piece Thursday about Benghazi and Fox News's continuing search for the Real Killers! As you may recall -- or not, depending on that little "late afternoon blackout" problem of yours -- Fox's Brian Kilmeade wondered just where the hell national security adviser Tom Donilon was during Benghazi -- over a photo showing Tom Donilon standing in the Oval Office on September 11.

Our little story got picked up by Yahoo News (though darned if we can find it on Yahoo -- all we know is that the Magic Statbot showed a bunch of traffic coming from Yahoo to that story), and if Yr Wonkette allowed comments -- which it most definitely does not -- we'd have gotten an earful! Most of the comments were garden variety talking points, albeit from a really smelly garden. But some missives went the extra mile, which on the internet takes a full 0.000005 seconds more. This post is dedicated to the few, the proud, the deranged.

First, there was this delightful unsigned missive from the tipline:

With a nigger in the white house and a nigger as AG, you expect anything more than anti-American behavior and Constitution-raping socialism? That's something you liberal cunts crave..a failing dictatorship telling you what to do. Pathetic whores.

We aren't completely sure that one was about the Benghazi story in particular, which had nothing to do with Eric Holder. So perhaps this was more of a general "state of the Wingnuttosphere" assessment.

On the other hand, this comment from "Kenyanisaliar" (cute username! We had briefly forgotten the President is a blackamoor!) was very definitely about the Fox story:

Wow, Fox made a mistake. Well, look at all the lies and retractions MSNBC has made and had to retract! Fox is saints compared to the bunch of traitors on MSNBC! Like Richard Nixon was a saint compared to the good for nothing piece of dog shit from Kenya TRAITOR Barack Obama! It is time to impeach this traitor and then try him for treason!

No, dear. A "mistake" is when you yell out "Pound me harder, John Bolton!" during the physical act of love with Roger Ailes. Fox's story was unadulterated bullshit from start to finish. But thank you for that lesson in situational ethics -- leaving aside your opinion of MSNBC, we hope you are not a parent if you find "other kids do worse things" a persuasive excuse. Also, constitutional scholars: Isn't "Kenyanisaliar" describing double jeopardy there? Another "both sides do it but one side doesnt punctuate" comment comes from "NotADumbocrat":

you liberal Obama rimmers crack me up! Fox apologizes once or twice this liberal excuse for news would have to apologize 20 to 30 times a day if they apologized for lies!

OK, that one hurt. We may be partisan, but comparing us to that smeghead Rimmer is below the belt, man.

We also received a whole raft of complaints about the photo showing Tom Donilon in the Oval Office on the night of September 11. Remember, this is a screenshot of the ACTUAL FOX NEWS BROADCAST ITSELF, one minute into the video in Thursday's post. Media Matters added the identifying red lines and text...and to help Fox News viewers, we added a "Where's Waldo" hat to the photo. Judging by our comments queue, we were WAY optimistic on that count.

(Actually, this is a slightly improved version of the hat. It was an ugly rush job the first time, and you were right to call us on it. So yes, we OPENLY ADMIT we altered the photo a second time -- just like the Benghazi talking points!!! )

Our description of this image as a screenshot of the Fox News Broadcast elicited protests from some very sharp Internet Sleuths, who know a Photoshop jobbie when they see it, because pixels. Yet they are also incapable of comparing an image with the 1-minute mark of a video posted right above it. Photoanalyst "ohreallybs" simply said "Hmm Photo shop anyone" [sic] -- though to be charitable, that may have been an admonition to Yr Doktor Zoom to use the Adobe-branded imaging software instead of MS-Paint.

Detective "gad_fly" was not fooled AT ALL, and wants! some! answers!

When was the picture of Donilon and Obama taken? Soros-funded Media Matters and the "President's Own" Wonkette do not say. The picture could be from Fox News archives. Nice try!

Of course, a real Internet Detective could maybe look it up. It's a White House photo by Pete Souza, taken September 11, 2012 and posted to Flickr on October 11 (yeah, yeah, or so the communists would have us believe!) It was included by Fox News in the May 30 broadcast of Fox & Friends. George Soros did not make Fox do this.

Other comments pointed out that the photo "proves nothing," because maybe right after it was taken, Obama and Donilan went golfing or had them some cocaine-fueled gaysexx? We saw it on the internet! And how do we even know that this was a picture of the Oval Office on September 11? It could have been an exact replica, constructed ANYTIME. Because, you know, faking a photograph in October 2012 to undermine a Fox News story seven months later is just how Time-Travel Obama rolls.

Finally, the lovers of the Constitution and Free Enterprise who came to us from Yahoo have real difficulty with the concept of a private business choosing who it will invite to play on its swingset. After a comment about how the clowns at "MSNBS" are "solely in the business of Obama worship and covering for the disgusting DemoCrap band of fools" went straight to the moderation queue, "196kirka" howled "This site censors debate!" and then, a few minutes later,

This is a commie website. All "debate" is one-sided. No dissent is allowed here. This website is only for commies to talk to commies. Comments I have read are indicative of some really brain dead and indoctrinated comrades.

Guess he's got us there! Wonkette, a for-profit website supported by selling advertising (and by the generous contributions of Readers Like You), makes free choices that result in some people not being able to walk into our living room and piss all over the rug. Basically, "196kirka" wants us to be some kind of collective that takes comments from each according to his ability or something.

The other thing we learned from our moderation queue is that "censor" is a really hard word for lovers of freedom:

  • "I love the way this site has to sensor comments they must have learned it from the Obummer administration"
  • "BAHHHHHHHhahahahahahahahg You censer your comments?????? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!! llololololol What a joke.." (this person's initial comment also included a "ROFLMFAO, so, hey, that's jolly.)

Still, you have to admire -- or at least acknowledge -- the tenacity of some of our would-be trolls. As we were typing this up, "196kirka" returned to leave the message "What a loser" or "what a bunch of losers" a dozen times. Keep on reaching for the stars, "196kirka"!

Remember, Pacific Northwest Wonkers, Yr Doktor Zoom will be attending the reader-organized Seattle Drinky Thing TOMORROW, which would be Saturday, June 1; details at this here linky. Will he make it this year? Signs point to yes!

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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