Looks like President Barry H. Bamz is officially in lame duck season, because on Friday, House Democrats stabbed him right in the back -- they also betrayed, rejected, revolted, and rebelled! -- blocking a bill to allow him to make super top secret trade deals with other countries. (That's how trade deals are made, apparently. In secret. Because of sensitive things we humble folk couldn't possibly understand and don't need to know, yay for  transparency.)

House Democrats rebuffed a dramatic personal appeal from President Obama on Friday, torpedoing his ambitious push to expand his trade negotiating power — and, quite likely, his chance to secure a legacy-defining trade accord spanning the Pacific Ocean.

In a remarkable rejection of a president they have resolutely backed, House Democrats voted to kill assistance to workers displaced by global trade, a program their party created and has stood by for four decades. By doing so, they brought down legislation granting the president trade promotion authority — the power to negotiate trade deals that cannot be amended or filibustered by Congress — before it could even come to a final vote.

Drama! Even House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi opposed the bill, which is strange and weird and makes us go HUH because she's usually quite happy to help President Obama git 'r done. With votes. From Democrats. Even sucktastic votes like extending Bush tax cuts, GRRRRR.

Why, Pelosi, why have you turned on your own president?!? Because according to dirty lefty liberal hippies, the Trade Adjustment Assistance provision in the bill does not adequately fund programs to retrain workers whose jobs get outsourced to other countries that are not America, because that's also how trade deals work. And the Republican-controlled Senate cooked up a nifty way to "offset" the cost of teaching those workers how to do other jobs. This is one of those absurd Republican rules, that the government is only allowed to spend money on a thing -- like job training programs, or hurricane disaster relief -- if it cuts funding for some other thing. Obviously, this does not apply when Republicans want to spend money on war, toys for the Pentagon, or abstinence-only education, because those things are important. So what unimportant program can spare $700 million? Medicare, of course. One of those pork-rich boondoggles that doesn't serve any legitimate purpose whatsoever.

So in a strange turn of events, Democrats were calling Obama the jobs-killer who doesn't care about old people, and Republicans were the ones saying #StandWithObama and if you don't, you're basically a Nazi:

[Rep. David Schweikert] said the things unions were putting out to counter the free-trade push were "crazy." Then he likened their work to an infamous Nazi.

"Goebbels would be very proud of them," said Schweikert[.]

That would be Arizona Republican David Schweikert, he is pretty much nuts, as you know. He does not trust Big Government at all, except on trade deals, apparently. But definitely not the Big Government scientists at the Environmental Protection Agency, because he knows they are always up to no good. So he sponsored the Secret Science Reform Act to allow The Internet to "review" scientific studies before the EPA is allowed to do anything about them. Like, say, if a study suggests the EPA should make us cut our carbon emissions, he thinks your crazy old uncle at AOL dot com should have a chance to check those scientists' work first.

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Clearly, he is a reasonable gentleman, and if he thinks the unions are putting out anti-trade propaganda worthy of Hitler's favorite spinmeister, it must be true!

So what happens next? Probably, Obama calls up Pelosi and says, "OK, please pretty please do me this solid," and then Democrats and Republicans get in a huddle and work out some more compromises, and Republicans agree to only cut a few hundred million dollars from Medicare, and Democrats say, "Fine, but can we also raise taxes on the rich?" and Republicans say, "Hahahahahahaha, good one!" and Democrats say, "Yeah, we know," and then there is a slightly modified deal, and the House passes it and then the Senate passes it, and then that's that. Secret trade deals for President Obama and whoever follows him (Hillary, it's gonna be Hillary). And then the Republicans, whose besties will be making money like crazy with more offshoring, will complain about the loss of American jerbs to China. Or maybe Obama just says, "Screw you guys, I'm going home," and resigns, because what is even the point anymore? Yeah, probably that.

[NYT / HuffPo / HuffPo again]

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