Piss Off, Concern Trolls! It's Impeachment-Thirty!
Dems in Disarray is so 2018! Get with the times, Gramps, the word now is Swing State Dems are YOU IN DANGER, GIRL. Because now we're not in disarray, we're lockstep automatons following Nancy Pelosi like lemmings off the cliff to certain electoral ruin. Just like us, isn't it?
Republicans are so freaked out about defections that they booted Justin Amash out of the party and threw their arms around Jeff Van Drew, a freshman Democrat who voted with Donald Trump a whole seven percent of the time. But it's Democrats who are scared, right? You know who's not freaking out? DON JR., THAT'S WHO!
Lucy McBath and Lauren Underwood promised they were "with" Donald Trump? We feel like we would have heard about that if WHOA IF TRUE.
Meanwhile, Republican Reps. Brian Fitzpatrick (PA-1) and John Katko (NY-24) represent swing districts, but we're not hearing much about the price they might pay in November for opposing impeachment. For Democrats, though, it's a different story.
"As final impeachment vote nears, swing-district Dems fall in line," shouts Fox, illustrating the network's signature hyper-partisanship and crappy prose.
Not all moderate Democrats have weighed in, with several saying the vote will be a challenging decision. The House is comprised of 431 members, meaning Democrats would need 217 yeas to impeach Trump. There currently have been 233 Democrats, so they could lose only 16 of their own and still impeach the president.
THEY. (Not to mention "There currently have been," but who are we to wonder just where FoxNews.com is outsourcing its content mill.)
The article goes on to garble Fox's own poll, describing the 50 percent who want Trump impeached and removed from office, but conveniently omitting the 54 percent who favor impeachment alone. Oh, Fox "News" you entirely predictable scamps!
And speaking of predictable, here's Chuck Todd's merry band of pranksters on a Cletus Safari in suburban Michigan finding that "moderate Republicans" don't like impeachment and can't wait to vote for Trump again next year.
And here's the eponymous Marcy Wheeler, who actually lives in Kent County, chatting up a more typical cohort of her community.
Meanwhile, the GOP, unable to resist a female target (particularly a Jewish one), is howling for freshman Rep. Elissa Slotkin's head. And The New York Times described the town hall after she announced her support for impeachment thusly:
The cheers - along with chants of "Impeach Slotkin, keep Trump!" - that greeted her decision underlined the wrenching partisan pressures that vulnerable Democrats in swing districts have faced ahead of this week's planned House vote on impeaching the Republican president.
And yet, the only "Democrats" who have announced opposition to impeachment are Collin C. Peterson (MN-7) and Jeff Van Drew, late of the Democratic Party. So one of two things must be true: Either congressional Democrats have done the math in their own districts and decided that the impeachment vote won't cost them their seats. Or they've done the moral math and decided that standing up for the Constitution and the rule of law is more important than getting re-elected.
We look forward to a media freakout in January over Cory Gardner's "tough choice." Will Susan Collins and Martha McSally face retribution at the polls? However will Thom Tillis balance his electoral prospects with his loyalty to Donald Trump, such a mystery! Will Mitt Romney take a principled stand, or wilt like a day old bologna-on-wonderbread sandwich mistakenly left in a car elevator? Who can say?
EL. OH. EL.
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Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.