Denny Hastert Needs Help

hastert.jpg

Above, Dennis Hastert, having spent a block as an environmentalist, trundles over to his idling Suburban to burn oil the rest of the way back the House, where he'll circle the block at 15 mph for an hour, do fishtails in the parking lot, then try to knock over some trees. (AP)


We mentioned it in passing yesterday, but it's worth repeating, because it's a goofy story and we still just don't get it.

When that wrapped up, the members started to leave. (All but Putnam, who stuck around to talk to reporters.) Blunt and Blackburn got in one of the fuel cell vehicles, while Hastert started walking back in the direction he'd come from. His press guy then apparently told Hastert that he should get into one of the fuel cell vehicles. Hastert changed course and did so.

When the vehicles drove away, a few people noted they were going in an odd direction. Davis got in her car and started driving. She soon spotted the two fuel cell cars on 8th street, and immediately noticed that Hastert, along with his security detail, were no longer in one of them. One of the cameraman said he'd seen Hastert's standard Chevrolet Suburban parked a few blocks away from the gas station -- apparently he'd been dropped off there before the fuel cell cars went back to the Capitol building.

Denny Hastert would rather die a thousand deaths than ride more than a block in one of your pussy FUEL CELL CARS.

The Washington Times, meanwhile, has the picture of Hastert in the car, driving off, and the goofiest angle on the story possible. We've taken the liberty of highlighting the keywords, stripping them of context, and arranging them in convenient list form:

* Prices

* Tumble

* Fallen

* Plummeted

* Flattened out

* Declines

* Drops

GEDDIT? THERE'S NO PROBLEM, GUYS. SUPPLY + DEMAND, BITCHES. QED. TONY BLANKLEY SEZ PRICES ARE PLUMMETING, SO THEY BEST PLUMMET.

Posturing At the Pump [PublicEye]

Market Fuel Prices Drop [WT]

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