Denver, Colorado, We Are Mile High, TONIGHT!
Can't make a Denver omelet without breaking some eggs
Whatcha doing, Denver? Totally forgot we were coming to town because your short term memory's shot to shit? Imagine that.
Well here is your PERSONAL REMINDER to come see us TONIGHT at Wynkoop Brewing, 1634 18th St., 6-8 p.m. We will buy you beer and appetizers!
Our Denver stop is our last on this trip (except for a wonklunch in Casper, Wyoming, tomorrow; email me at email@example.com if you are in the hood!). We have hugged you and kissed you in Fargo, St. Paul, Madison, Chicago, Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, Brooklyn, DC, Baltimore, West Virginia, Lexington, Indianapolis, NOT St. Louis (we owe you one!), and Wichita, where I got to hold Hanaka's bayyyyybeee.
It means so much to us to have you trek out to see us; it makes us feel loved, and that our dumb work matters, and also that we are King. Thank you all for sending us on this marvelous any-other-word-for-journey-because-that's-been-coopted-by-the-dating-show-people-and-if-you-say-journey-now-you're-a-douche. If there's ANY reason we bought our dumb Wonkebago, it was to drive from Montana to the #teens' Washington DC March for Our Lives, and weep with them, and have their damn backs, and pop into the teachers' walkout in Oklahoma City on our way home.
Thank you again, darling terrible ones. And you'd best get your ass to the Wynkoop tonight!
Are you a fairly regular Wonkette reader and have had a nagging little voice for some time saying "you should throw Wonkette a buck every month"? That is called your conscience. Listen to it! It feels good!
Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.