Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Compost Heap Of Cretins And Creeps
Would you believe it's the final Derp Roundup of 2013? This is where we bring you the virtual melon rinds and coffee grounds of stories that didn't quite earn a full post of their own, but were too stoopid to ignore altogether. We find they go down a lot easier if you're heavily anaesthetized -- if you can't find alcohol, a couple whacks with a large cartoon mallet may do the job.
On the whole it made me feel disgusted the entire time I was making it… One should not know what it’s like to sew through skin
He seems nice!
The Turkey Bear is not the only culinary abomination to go viral this holiday season; earlier in December, the web had fun with photos of a "Cthurkey" assembled by Rusty Eulberg of Lubbock, Texas. And unlike the turkey bear, Eulberg's eldritch horror is actually edible, a combination of turkey, king crab legs, and octopus tentacles. No guarantees on whether eating it will drive you mad.
We just want to know how it is that C_R_Eature didn't post this thing here first.
And because it would be simply wrong to mention the Prancing Elites without a video, here is a video. With marching band music.
The animated world of incomplete men who desire the fair maiden’s hand is indeed a mirroring of the young men coming of age today. So often we find that rather than desiring and finding true love, ultimately fulfilled in finding Christ, young men have become flaccid in the matters of fighting and dying for lasting relationships. In large part this is due to how they have been educated to become men ... Rather than showing what is good and noble in males, these depictions of piecemeal, laidback men who still get the girl, has become the norm.
Perhaps what has actually inadvertently occurred through these films is a warning to young men that if they don’t start acting like the knight in shining armor, the woman they desire will stop looking for one.
We ran this theory of feminized kids' films causing irreparable damage to boys' ability to be honorable men past Kid Zoom, who laughed derisively and went back to chatting on Facebook with his gender-mixed group of friends who think all that stuff is bullshit. Somehow, we were not terrified by the sight. Kid is a little weird, though -- he doesn't even like My Little Pony.
And to prove something or other, gun-fondling blogger Mike Vanderboegh, the guy who whipped "Fast and Furious" into a national issue, made a very important point about something or other when he mailed high-capacity AR-15 ammunition magazines, sans actual bullets, to the Democratic governors of Colorado and Connecticut, who had both signed laws restricting magazine capacity -- to 15 rounds in Colorado and 10 rounds in Connecticut. By mailing 30-round magazines to Colorado's John Hickenlooper and Connecticut's Daniel Malloy, Vanderboegh proved conclusively that you can send stuff in the mail. Seriously, what was the point here? "Your states passed laws after mass shootings, so here is an item that is banned by that law. Haw haw haw, gun control can never work, I WIN!" Wow so guns such awesome power.
a nutty blend of schmaltzy '60s rhetoric, black racism and Marxism. The seven principles of Kwanzaa are the very same seven principles of the Symbionese Liberation Army, another innovation of the Worst Generation.
Because radical black nationalists from the '60s are simultaneously ridiculous and scary, scary scary.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.