Donate

The Damsels of Dumb, Diamond and Silk, sashayed their way onto the set of "Fox & Friends" to kick some knowledge to their MAGA peeps, and call out Nancy Pelosi for not understanding walls. Uninformed and idiotic inanities dropped from their lips as fast as Melania's poll numbers fell when we saw her new yellow hair. They had soooo many dumb questions. Why does Nancy Pelosi get to live her sweet, cushy life residing in a domicile that has actual walls holding back the massive hordes of enemy migrants who would slaughter her like a scene out of The Purge? Mm hmm, that's right! Also, doesn't she even know that walls keep people from coming in and stealing your stuff? Pelosi has walls, we have walls, the border has no wall, so let's build a border wall, because everything needs walls, you betcha! Plus, we can deploy the entire fucking Army to our side of the border to stop bad things and stuff because ... wait, are they really saying we should turn the border into a demilitarized zone? Yes, yes they are!


This is the kind of shit these genius ladies will be discussing on their new embarrassment to America, a dumb ass show we demand Fox cancel before black people file a class action suit. Keep up the good work making us (black people) look bad, it's why you were hired, right?


From Media Matters (which was kind enough to label which one is Diamond and which one is Silk, because who fucking even knows, OK?):

LYNETTE HARDAWAY (DIAMOND [she's the one who gets to do most of the talking]): What we need is the wall funded. We need a wall funded. And what I don't understand, and what's so mind-boggling about Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer is that they live behind walls. You know, don't your walls protect you? So why don't you want to protect America by building a wall? So that's what I don't understand."

Does being stupid hurt, Diamond? Do you experience brain pain when you try to ruminate over why people who live in homes with walls don't wanna build walls for outside that cost billions of dollars? Do you break out in hives trying to decipher how we have protected America for so long without walls on both borders stretching from sea to shining sea? Those Cocksure Canadians are probably pettily plotting on going to your house and stealing your lace fronts and Kirk Franklin CDs, girl. You better build you some walls around the walls around your house before they steal your pans to fry potatoes for their poutine.

ROCHELLE RICHARDSON (SILK [her job is to agree with Diamond and repeat what she says and nod sagely.]): Yeah, not only that, they have security guards. They have security guards with guns, and they also live behind walls. So if somebody continued to break into my house and steal my stuff, I just get a security system to keep them from breaking into my house, so I won't have to keep paying for my stuff. And, guess what? The security system will pay for itself, so that wall will pay for itself, and guess what? Mexico is going to pay for it, voluntarily or involuntary.

Tweedledumb and Tweedledumbass are known to loudly dish out self confident ignorance, yet every time they pop back up we are still stunned. Their minds are boggled that Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer, who live behind walls that apparently "pay for themselves," won't pony up the cash to pay for the wall that Diamond and Silk claim Mexico will pay for. That will also pay for itself.

HARDAWAY: Or.

RICHARDSON: Or.

It's like these two are conjoined twins who share zero body parts, yet share one blank, boggled mind. Maybe that's why they wear the same godawful fashions and sculpted hair styles I remember from my many many many days as a hostage at that tiny Baptist church on Adams and Western. How can they tell each other to tone it the fuck down if they think exactly the same thoughts, which probably are "Girl we look GOOD! And we are SMART too!"?

I saved the dumbest part for last, the part about a DMZ on the border:

HARDAWAY: Take the the military and put it on the border.

RICHARDSON: That's right.

HARDAWAY: Make that their zone.

RICHARDSON: That's right.

HARDAWAY: Then nobody can cross it.

Sweet Jesus! Let's be North Korea? No.

Welp, thankfully these sequined simpletons only have a five-minute show on some streaming service nobody with sense will ever pay for. I hope they are very grateful for the grift game they have going with delusional Don, because I seriously do not understand how these women would make it otherwise. Perhaps people that dumb cannot help but to "fail up" in life because they lack the critical thinking ability to second guess themselves. But always remember the Peter Principle, and the fact that what goes up must come down. You know, like that billionaire who asked Russia to hack Hillary on live TV, became President, and is probably going to PRISON.

[Media Matters]

Wonkette is fully funded by readers like you! Click below to throw us a few bucks!

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)





Wonderbitch

Wonderbitch aka Bravenak aka Bianca DeLaRosa, loves her jobs as Social Media Manager for Wonkette more than Sarah Huckabee Sanders loves lying to America. Bianca also moonlights as a Witch (THE BAD KIND!!) and is a Freelance Goddess of All Things Ever. Be very nice her because she likes to curse people, especially mean people. You can find Bianca on Twitter @biancadelarosa8 or email her at bianca@wonkette.com

$
Donate with CC

Gentle flowers of love, our darlings, the ones who make us whole, who let us hire writers at a living wage, who keep us going through the Trumpenstorm, who complete us: Move on down to the comments for open thread, your work today is done! The rest of you, the ones who have been meaning to get your credit card or your paypal password for lo these SEVEN or FOURTEEN YEARS NOW, YOU:

Hi! I'm Rebecca. Have we met yet? We HAVE? Because you've been coming twice a week or four times a day for us to guide you through our fascist horror, together? Sweet! Barring you really ain't got none, we would like your money.

But you always need money, you are hissing through your beardo crumbs. Well, yes! That is how food and rent/mortgages and paychecks and servers work. As the lucky-ducky federal workers have discovered, you have to pay for them on an ongoing basis. And you know who likes food and mortgages and paychecks and servers? It is your Wonkette!

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

Do we really have to write two posts in a row that feature Oleg Deripaska, whose face is really weird looking and stupid and we hate looking at it? Yes. Apparently we do.

OK, so we were just talking about how Deripaska is getting a sweet free handjob from Steven Mnuchin's Treasury Department with the deal to lift sanctions off his companies. We also know that Deripaska is Paul Manafort's former boss, to whom Manafort was in serious debt, and to whom Manafort weirdly offered secret briefings on the Trump camapign, as a way to "get whole." (We still don't know what exactly that means, or how involved Deripaska was in the Russian conspiracy to ratfuck the election and install Trump in office, but we bet Robert Mueller does.)

But another wang of the Deripaska story we've learned over the past couple of years involves a woman named Anastasia Vashukevich, AKA Nastya Rybka, an escort who traveled with Deripaska on his yacht, and who once claimed to have recordings of Deripaska on his yacht discussing the plan to skullfuck America's democratic presidential election, presumably because Russians never really have understood how democracy is supposed to work, and also because they wanted to steal the American presidency to use it for their own benefit.

Don't know if you've been following the latest news -- that Rybka was suddenly released from the Thai prison where she had been bizarrely detained, that she was assured she would be able to safely go home to Belarus, and that she was immediately arrested while changing planes in Russia -- but she's free now. Or, you know, "free."

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc