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Those crafty, country, churchifying embarrassments to Black America and White America simultaneously, Diamond and Silk -- aka Zircon and Rayon -- are back once again to leverage their "fame" in order to make some more sweet sweet profits. And it's all thanks to their beloved Mr. Trump. He sure has fucked the world up, huh? Yeah.

Now, before you ask yourselves, "Why the fuck should I even give a shit about those garbage women?" we will remind you that they are one half of all of the black people Trump has helped get jobs (FACT). Apparently, it is YOUR job to be very impressed with their new show, or possibly to not be impressed because you will never pay $5.99 to watch ANYTHING created by Fox News. And your Old Dad probably can't figure out the paypal.


Let's check out what these terrible ladies are up to.

From The Wrap:

Diamond & Silk are headed to their rightful home: Fox News' streaming platform Fox Nation.

This sounds horrible already.

Every week, "Diamond & Silk" gets five minutes for commentary, focusing on events of the day and casual discourse, per Fox News.

FIVE minutes every WEEK? Who the fuck can sit through five fucking minutes of watching them say "Umm hmm!" and "That's right, AMEN!"? Why must they always act like some time travelers that got snatched from the set of the Black Jesus episode of Good Times? It's fucking corny.

Please God, if you exist, let this fetish white people have with Black Church Ladies end soon. It is extremely inappropriate, and also, it hurts to watch.

The sisters, known as Lynnette Hardaway (Diamond) and Rochelle Richardson (Silk) are vloggers, bloggers and public speakers known for their viral videos in support of President Trump. They have been voicing their opinions daily about media bias and politics from their home in North Carolina and came to prominence during the rise of Trump in 2016.

Once again, fuck you so extra much 2016. Next you'll wake Ben Carson up and give his ass a show too. Fuck it, let's resurrect Herman Cain too, he was always kinda entertaining, maybe.

"Diamond & Silk have proven to have cultivated a significant fan base and we are thrilled to have them be a part of Fox Nation," John Finley, senior vice president of development and production, said on Monday.

We bet you are thrilled, John, We just bet you are. Fox News loves nothing more than embarrassing black people, so of course they would have the Bobbsey Twins of genuflecting to whiteness as the"black act" in their decades-long minstrel show of a media empire. Megyn Kelly probably wants her epic blackface role back too; we guess she had better hurry before Tomi Lahren wiggles into her old costumes and grosses them up. Never wear clothes after Tomi Lahren.

"We cannot wait to join the best Nation…Fox Nation!" Diamond & Silk added in their own statement. "We have so much to share with all of you on this exclusive platform and can't wait to get started."

And that is hopefully your grossest news of the day. Wonkette can dream.

[IMDB/TheWrap]

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Wonderbitch

FollowWonderbitch aka Bravenak aka Bianca DeLaRosa, loves her jobs as Social Media Manager for Wonkette more than Sarah Huckabee Sanders loves lying to America. Bianca also moonlights as a Witch (THE BAD KIND!!) and is a Freelance Goddess of All Things Ever. Be very nice her because she likes to curse people, especially mean people. You can find Bianca on Twitter @bravewriting or email her at bianca@wonkette.com

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Hooray, it's time for yet another dispatch from Fox News's big fun week of failure. (No, we mean even more failure than usual.) While all of Twitter is being annoying and talking incessantly about nothing but Bran and Daenerys and Carl and Peg or whoever they are, we have been (ignoring it and) focusing on all Fox's sadness, starting with Pete Buttigieg's town hall, where he called Fox News a piece of shit to its face. Then we laughed and laughed at Fox News idiot Pete Hegseth, who is sending lots of begging to today's college graduates, that they might immediately get dropped on their heads and forget all their education, so they might grow up to be the Fox News viewers of the future.

Oh, and we haven't even had a chance to LOL at the epic hilarity of Steve Doocy trying to do man-on-the-street interviews in Midtown Manhattan, shoving the mic into the faces of New Yorkers who literally don't care if he goes and plays in traffic. That was fun!

But the point of this post is that we have finally learned what makes at least some Fox News viewers tick, and it is that Tucker Carlson "laughs like a girl." That is not us saying that, that is a Fox News fan lady telling the Washington Post's Erik Wemple why she loves Tucker Carlson so much.

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Old White Guys Try To Explain Abortion

Throwing the baby out with the bathwater. It's your Sunday show rundown!

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Michael is out, so I'm taking over your Sunday Show Rundown. This week everyone was talking about those awful abortion laws worming their way through state legislatures. As usual, most of the men were tripping on their dicks while trying to talk about vag. Luckily, there's enough women around to ladysplain things.

Bernie Sanders went on Meet the Press for the first time in FOREVER and played his greatest hits for all the kids. Sanders criticized Joe Biden's environmental policy (which is literally just "beat Trump"), stating that it wasn't "good enough." Sanders is right! (NO FIGHTING.)

SANDERS: Beating Trump is not good enough. You have to beat the fossil fuel industry, you have to take on all the forces of the status quo who do not want to move this country to energy efficiency and sustainable energy.

But then Chuck Todd asked Bernie a loaded question about women getting "sex-selective" abortions and the whole interview went off the rails. Bernie struggled to answer the dumbass question and came across looking stupid despite having spent the better part of the last week in Alabama railing against abortion bans.

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