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Those crafty, country, churchifying embarrassments to Black America and White America simultaneously, Diamond and Silk -- aka Zircon and Rayon -- are back once again to leverage their "fame" in order to make some more sweet sweet profits. And it's all thanks to their beloved Mr. Trump. He sure has fucked the world up, huh? Yeah.

Now, before you ask yourselves, "Why the fuck should I even give a shit about those garbage women?" we will remind you that they are one half of all of the black people Trump has helped get jobs (FACT). Apparently, it is YOUR job to be very impressed with their new show, or possibly to not be impressed because you will never pay $5.99 to watch ANYTHING created by Fox News. And your Old Dad probably can't figure out the paypal.


Let's check out what these terrible ladies are up to.

From The Wrap:

Diamond & Silk are headed to their rightful home: Fox News' streaming platform Fox Nation.

This sounds horrible already.

Every week, "Diamond & Silk" gets five minutes for commentary, focusing on events of the day and casual discourse, per Fox News.

FIVE minutes every WEEK? Who the fuck can sit through five fucking minutes of watching them say "Umm hmm!" and "That's right, AMEN!"? Why must they always act like some time travelers that got snatched from the set of the Black Jesus episode of Good Times? It's fucking corny.

Please God, if you exist, let this fetish white people have with Black Church Ladies end soon. It is extremely inappropriate, and also, it hurts to watch.

The sisters, known as Lynnette Hardaway (Diamond) and Rochelle Richardson (Silk) are vloggers, bloggers and public speakers known for their viral videos in support of President Trump. They have been voicing their opinions daily about media bias and politics from their home in North Carolina and came to prominence during the rise of Trump in 2016.

Once again, fuck you so extra much 2016. Next you'll wake Ben Carson up and give his ass a show too. Fuck it, let's resurrect Herman Cain too, he was always kinda entertaining, maybe.

"Diamond & Silk have proven to have cultivated a significant fan base and we are thrilled to have them be a part of Fox Nation," John Finley, senior vice president of development and production, said on Monday.

We bet you are thrilled, John, We just bet you are. Fox News loves nothing more than embarrassing black people, so of course they would have the Bobbsey Twins of genuflecting to whiteness as the"black act" in their decades-long minstrel show of a media empire. Megyn Kelly probably wants her epic blackface role back too; we guess she had better hurry before Tomi Lahren wiggles into her old costumes and grosses them up. Never wear clothes after Tomi Lahren.

"We cannot wait to join the best Nation…Fox Nation!" Diamond & Silk added in their own statement. "We have so much to share with all of you on this exclusive platform and can't wait to get started."

And that is hopefully your grossest news of the day. Wonkette can dream.

[IMDB/TheWrap]

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Wonderbitch

FollowWonderbitch aka Bravenak aka Bianca DeLaRosa, loves her jobs as Social Media Manager for Wonkette more than Sarah Huckabee Sanders loves lying to America. Bianca also moonlights as a Witch (THE BAD KIND!!) and is a Freelance Goddess of All Things Ever. Be very nice her because she likes to curse people, especially mean people. You can find Bianca on Twitter @bravewriting or email her at bianca@wonkette.com

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One of the most common things to say in America, just behind "Happy Birthday" and "NO COLLUSION," is "Mitch McConnell should go fuck himself." It works for all occasions, whether you have just stubbed your toe or whether you are in the middle of your wedding to your sweetheart. Try it!

But why should Mitch McConnell go fuck himself at this particular moment? Let's look at the top three current reasons!

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Sucks to be you, Pat Shanahan! The acting Defense secretary is currently under investigation for preferential treatment of his former bosses at Boeing, who just got busted letting planes fall out of the sky if buyers skimped on the upgrades. Shanahan was never a favorite of Trump's, and now his chances of getting made Big Boy For Real Sec Def are decreasing by the day. Which means that he's going through all this shit for nothing! Womp womp!

What shit, you ask? Well! Last night Shanahan announced the first tranche of the "found" money the DoD is shifting over to fund WALL in defiance of Congress's constitutional spending powers. The Defense Department will be transferring the cash from accounts meant to support military personnel into "anti-drug funding," which they've decided means they can use it to build "18-foot-high pedestrian fencing, constructing and improving roads, and installing lighting within the Yuma and El Paso Sectors of the border." Already pissed off about the fake EMERGY declaration, although not pissed enough to override a veto, congresspeople on both sides of the aisle are hopping mad that the Trump administration dicked them around for months, shut down the government, forced them to negotiate for wall funding in good faith, and then said HA HA SUCKERS, WE'RE JUST GOING TO STEAL IT FROM THE RAINY DAY FUND ANYWAY!

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