Dick Cheney Goes Soft, And Eliot Spitzer Wants To Get Hard
Heavens! TheDEBT COLLECTORS are in hot pursuit of America's prized orator,JOE WILSON! Apparently Joe purchased 30,000 "I'm With Myself" tee shirts with his credit card, because he forgot to buy his wife something nice for 9/11. But guess what?BANK OF AMERICAdoes not acceptSCREAMINGas a form of payment! (It used to, when we were still on the gold standard.) Run for your life, Joe Wilson! You would not enjoyDEBTOR'S PRISON, where they make you talk with "inside voices." ...
ENORMOUS GOSSIP SCOOPS: TheHOUSE CLERKhas written the first ever TWITTER VIRUS(using C++ and LOLz) ...DICK CHENEYwas caught buying "veggies and fruits", two bottles of red wine, and sushi . How manyLIBERALSdoes Dick Cheney have imprisoned in his basement, and why is he feeding them so well? ...TIM KAINE'S INTERNdoes a fantastic job, and deserves a raise. 2 x $0 = $0 ...ELIOT SPITZER, best-selling author of Bury My Hooker At Wounded Knee , is in DC to talk about the economy, which sounds innocent enough, until he gets the hooker itch ...
REP. STEVEN COHEN(D-TN) might look like a frail balding white guy, but that's not who he really is, on the inside . Steven has come to accept he is reallySAPPHIRE, a 45-year-old black woman with feminine curves and a preposterous badonkadonk who is trapped in a boring white dude's body.
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