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We don't know how we missed the news on Friday (yes we do, we were drinking shots with your compatriots at the Bottom Line bar). But did you know Congressman Jason Chaffetz is a tiny hard pellet of a really noxious turd?


So pleased she is not the President. I thanked her for her service and wished her luck. The investigation continues.

A photo posted by Jason Chaffetz (@jasoninthehouse) on

AHEM. AHEM. Bugs Bunny style opera throat warmup mi mi mi MI mi mi mi.

I don't believe the good people of Utah sent Jason Chaffetz to the House to BE SO FUCKING RUDE and HAVE NO FUCKING MANNERS. YOU DON'T POST A SELFIE WITH SOMEONE AND THEN TELL THEM THEY SUCK AND YOU ARE GOING TO PUT THEM IN JAIL UNLESS YOU ARE TAKING SELFIES WITH IDI AMIN. IS HILLARY CLINTON IDI AMIN? NO. SHE IS A NICE LADY WHO GOT BONED BY A CONFLUENCE OF THE 'DEEP STATE' (DIDN'T SEE GLENN GREENWALD BITCHING ABOUT THAT ONE, DIDJA?) AND THE RUSSIAN STATE AND ABOUT A HUNDRED THOUSAND UNCOUNTED VOTES IN DETROIT, NOT TO MENTION THE ONE POINT ONE MILLION VOTERS PURGED FROM THE ROLLS BY KANSAS SUPERVILLAIN KRIS KOBACH AND HIS "CROSSCHECK," WHICH COUNTED SUCH "DOUBLE VOTERS" AS

Donald Alexander Webster Jr. of Ohio who is accused of voting a second time in Virginia as Donald EUGENE Webster SR.

SO, YOU KNOW, THERE'S THAT.

Jason Chaffetz. Chaff. Baby. YOU VOTED TO CUT EMBASSY SECURITY AND THEN YOUR PALS IN THE HOUSE HELD ONE HUNDRED AND TWO INVESTIGATIONS INTO WHY ALL THOSE PEOPLE (FOUR PEOPLE) GOT MURDERED AT BENGHAZI, AND EVERY TIME YOU WERE LIKE "HMMM, GUESS HILLARY CLINTON DIDN'T MURDER ALL THOSE PEOPLE, MAYBE IT IS TIME TO INVESTIGATE HER FIFTY-FIVE TIMES FOR 'EMAILS'" EVEN THOUGH COLIN FUCKING POWELL DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A PRIVATE EMAIL SERVER SET UP SECURELY BY PROFESSIONALS, HE HAD A GODDAMN AOL ACCOUNT AND I DON'T SEE YOU PROMISING TO LOCK HIM UP, YOU SNIVELING GREASEBALL PUBEHEADED MONSTER.

In conclusion, you are a spineless, craven little weasel, you're ugly, your mama raised you poorly, and you aren't fit to lick the boots of the woman who could do this with class and fuckin' grace, which you would never understand.

Fuck you is why.

Love,

Wonkette

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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It started with them damn hats. (Image: Wikimedia Commons)

A guest post by "Knitsy McPurlson," which we suspect is not a real name.

Yr Wonkette is not the only website run by brilliant peoples unafraid to poke people with sharp, pointy sticks. Ravelry.com – a website for knitters, crocheters, and other folks interested in textiles and fiber arts – is poking people with knitting needles, which are very sharp indeed.

This past weekend, Ravelry.com's founders showed the world how easy it is to de-platform white nationalists and racists when they banned all "support of Donald Trump and his administration" from their website, concluding they "cannot provide a space that is inclusive of all and also allow support for open white supremacy." Seems like people smart enough to decode a knitting pattern are also smart enough to decode Trump's not-so-hidden message of racism and white nationalism.

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One day, God willing, my grandchildren will click open their history textbooks and read about the Central American migrant internment camps. They'll learn about sick kids, locked in cages, kept hungry and dirty and cold for weeks on end, and they'll be horrified.

"Bubbie," they'll say, "how could this happen in America? How could there be toddlers sleeping on the ground without blankets, without soap or toothbrushes to clean themselves?"

"I don't know. I wish I had done more. I'm ashamed," I'll say. We will all have to answer for this atrocity. But some of us will have to answer more than others. Not just the archvillains like Stephen Miller and John Kelly, but the people who kept right on doing their jobs, even as those jobs morphed into defending concentration camps.

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