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Dickish Trump Is Even A Dick To That Nice Old Lady From 'The Crown'

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We all know, unfortunately, that Donald Trump can't do anything normal and human because he's a blight on all that is good in the world. The president met the queen of England and The Beatles yesterday and it went as horribly as you might expect.

The British public does not appear amused with President Donald Trump walking in front of Queen Elizabeth II on Friday, with one royal commentator describing the awkward stroll as reminiscent of "wandering up and down a golf course."

Trump ruffled feathers on social media after momentarily walking in front of the Queen during a reviewing of the troops at Windsor Castle.In the encounter, Elizabeth appears to gesture Trump forward before he walks ahead and promptly puts on the brakes -- forcing the monarch to do an awkward sidestep around him.

I had better sense when I was 10 and was asked to walk Deacon Crowley's 107-year-old maiden aunt Miss Gretchen down to her pew at Sunday Homecoming service. Just look at this idiot.


Trump shows no regard for the elderly woman walking next to him on a hot day, which should surprise no one familiar with his demonstrated lack of consideration for his own wife. He's often bolting ahead of Melanie like he's had some bad beachside tacos and needs to beat the clock to the White House bathroom.

America chose (more or less) to elect a sociopathic vulgarian as president. That's our business, but there's no excuse for subjecting the queen to our mess. She's 92. She drove a truck during World War II. She's been shot at, and she's had a stalker in her bedroom. She doesn't need this. I'm sure the Royal Family and Parliament would've been fine with just "recasting" the president for these mostly ceremonial visits. Alec Baldwin is convincing. Or they could go against type and hire Jeff Goldblum, who would bring a delightful quirkiness to the role of Fake US President. There's a good chance the queen is considering just having Trump meet with Claire Foy from now on.

The New York Times, the newspaper of record stupidity, called out the Trumps for their behavior during the royal visit but for the wrong reasons.

Earlier, Mr. Trump and the first lady, Melania Trump, also appeared not to have followed other long-running protocol, in which a bow or curtsy is customary. The first lady's communications director said Mrs. Trump was briefed on royal protocol before the visit but it was unclear if the president, who eschews briefings, received similar guidance.

First place, Trump did slightly bow his head to the queen, as Obama did, but far less cool. No one even curtsies anymore because it's freaking ridiculous, and Americans are obligated to do neither because we valiantly fought a war to secure our freedom to allow Russian dictators to tell us how to vote. If the Times wants to talk about breaches of protocol, it should've addressed Melanie showing up in the queen's England looking like one of the brides of Dracula.

I suppose I'm being unfair. Dracula wouldn't have trampled over Her Majesty. Even in wolf form, he had more class. Speaking of Sir David Duke of Racist, his ambassador Sam Brownback lobbied the UK on behalf on jailed right-wing activist Tommy Robinson. He thinks the UK is treating Robinson unfairly (he does know that the US is jailing children, right?). Robinson is a thug with a posh accent, but he loathes Islam and the direction immigration is taking the country, so that I guess that squares him in Trump's world. Just another example of how the almost 100-year-old monarch with a black extended family now represents a better, more tolerant global future.

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle.

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