Did Eric Trump Win A 'Fugly Nazi Makeover' Contest Or Did He Just Get A Haircut?

What isthis please?


Let's see what Eric Trump looked like when he said people who make fun of his dear daddy are not human beings:

He looks better as a Nazi, which is just about the shittiest compliment we can think of. We guess all we mean by "better" is that it actually looks like he dragged his lazy ass to the Supercuts and asked Hailey to give him some NAZI PIZZAZZ like all those really cool sexually attractive white supremacist supporters his dad has, instead of his normal daily routine of rubbing a bunch of llama jizz on his head and slicking it all the way back, like his totally normal looking brother seems to:

We're just for curious about what led Eric to this unfortunate hair event. Did he go to the Sport Clips and say, "Obviously I will never have a boisterous ferret on top of my head like my daddy has ...

" ... And I'll never have strands of shimmering blonde hair like my sister, who is the ONLY ONE OF THE KIDS DAD HAS EVER HAD THE HOTS FOR, which is NOT FAIR ..."

" ... And I originally thought maybe if I got the same haircut my Nana had, Daddy would love me at last  ... "

" ... But surely my mane isn't capable of such majesty, so I guess I will just get a Nazi Hairdo, because it's pretty appropriate for a male member of my family anyway, shhhh don't tell Jared ... "

" ... GAH why does Jared have to look so normal? Why does HE get to be both (probably) criminal AND sexxxy? I will show him! I will get a snazzy haircut now! Hailey, can you make it look like this?"

" ... And maybe one day when I hit puberty I can grow my noseface hair out like that too, and I will just look super cool, SHUT UP DON JUNIOR AND IVANKA I CAN TOO GROW NOSEFACE HAIR."

And that is the story of why Eric Trump looks shitty in a different way now.

Oh yeah, this is your open thread, so discuss hairstyling tips or whatever.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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