An Oklahoma sheriff has quit his post after being charged with committing pretty much every sexual crime in the book against a number of female prisoners. For example, "rape by instrumentation." If he's convicted, he may serve up to 467 years in prison. Join us on a terrible sex tour of all the foul horrors former Custer County Sheriff Mike Burgess may have committed!

The charges are as follows:

• Engaging in a pattern of criminal offenses.
• Sexual battery.
• Bribery by a public official.
• Forcible oral sodomy.
• Indecent exposure.
• Kidnapping.
• Second-degree rape.
• Rape by instrumentation.
• Subornation of perjury.

His alleged former sex slaves say the sheriff's employees made them have wet T-shirt contests and gave them cigarettes if they flashed their boobs. The bottom line here, ladies, is DRIVE THE SPEED LIMIT AND USE PROPER TURN SIGNALS IN CUSTER COUNTY.

Oklahoma sheriff charged with using inmates as sex slaves [AP]