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So John Edwards has admitted to banging that broad, Rielle. Here is a nice long story about what he will tell one of the Woodruffs on teevee tonight. Since it is Friday, none of your editors wanted to write a real, thorough post about this. So we have held a chat session to discuss John Edwards' bastard child. It isn't very readable, but it is long, so you really have no excuse.


Sara S.

I must say, among the possible explanations for the Edwards story I never considered that he had done one thing but not the other.

Sara S.

(i.e., banged the broad but not fathered the baby)

Jim N.

well, there is time yet

Jim N.

he admits that he visited her in beverly hills. why?

Sara S.

True. His explanation does have the ring of, "Well Mom yes I smoked cigarettes ONCE but those butts in my trash can belong to a friend."

Jim N.

and now he will be vice president.

Sara S.

It's funny how he's saying, "Well, I fucked her BEFORE my wife got the cancer again," like that is such a classy thing to do, to have affairs BETWEEN your wife's bouts of cancer.

Jim N.

haha, well, i guess he didn't KNOW it would come back, but still, it sounds petty

Jim N.

are you doing a FOLLOWUP?

Sara S.

Ugh, I guess.

Jim N.

we could do a CONVERSATION and post it?

Jim N.

that would be easier.

Jim N.

haha i am so lazy that i feel lazy for you, today

Sara S.

Ha ha! Done and done.

Jim N.

do we have enough or should we keep talking? OK.

Sara S.

Well, let's see. Is there anything else to say?

Jim N.

yes.

Jim N.

here is a question

Jim N.

are we supposed to take away from this that the best part of your wife's cancer going away is that you get to have affairs?

Jim N.

but then if it comes back you're a DICK

Jim N.

you're a woman, doesn't breast cancer come back like all the time?

Sara S.

You are kind of a dick either way.

Sara S.

Let me consult my breasts...Yes, they say it does fairly often.

Jim N.

well then john edwards is just awful and Sexist

Jim N.

here's another important Media Question

Jim N.

john edwards could've won iowa and maybe, SOMEHOW, won the nomination. and then this news would've come out. should we kill everyone in the Main Stream Media for not reporting this?

Sara S.

I am just shocked, for the millionth time, that any politician who bothers to basically start running for office the SECOND after a failed run for office, and who bothers to construct this whole phony populist platform and takes many pains to get everything in line -- the scholarship fund and the poverty center and etc. etc. -- where was I.

Jim N.

this is such a stereotype. Republicans are secret gays, Democrats cheat on their wives. end of the eleciton.

Sara S.

Oh, that he could do so much careful planning and be like, "By the way, I will still have sex with that lady I met in a bar because who cares?"

Sara S.

Yes, the Main Stream Media should be bombed, by Ron Paul's War Rocket.

Jim N.

he is bill clinton, but not as nifty. he's just a loser.

Jim N.

seriously, who is this fucking guy? he hasn't won an election in TEN YEARS.

Sara S.

I still do not quite get why nobody reported it. Many people say it's in deference to Elizabeth Edwards, but do they honestly believe she has read any news at all since the Enquirer broke this?

Jim N.

but he's been in at least 900

Sara S.

She has probably had her nose buried in Rita Brown novels for the past three weeks.

Sara S.

Ha ha, he is definitely not very nifty at all. He is a robot with a lizard tongue and a wandering peen.

Jim N.

yeah that makes no sense. Liz, honey, sorry about your boobs, but this asshole could've gotten the nomination in a year Democrats are *supposed* to win, and then he would've automatically lost.

Sara S.

John Edwards' White Trash Palace should be evacuated of the wife and the kids, and then also bombed.

Jim N.

Jim N.

haha so gross

Sara S.

Oh Jesus.

Sara S.

The lower left looks like, who is that, Donald Sutherland?

Sara S.

And Sanjaya...

Jim N.

yes! and his son, kiefer, from teevee

Jim N.

Dr. Sanjay Gupta?

Sara S.

And Bobby Jindal.

Jim N.

racist.

Sara S.

No, the kid from American Idol. DON'T YOU WATCH TEEVEE???

Jim N.

well you did

Jim N.

Jim N.

i mean, look at this.

Jim N.

i think i see john!

Sara S.

It is a blight.

Jim N.

in his masturbatorium!

Sara S.

Hahahahah

Jim N.

with, who else, edwards his wife

Jim N.

do you think she's even SEEN his penis?

Sara S.

His "masturbatorium" is just a room full of mirrors, with some Kleenex.

Jim N.

or is that only for his floozies?

Jim N.

there is just dirt, everywhere

Jim N.

at this palace

Sara S.

I'm sure she's seen quite a bit of it. One imagines that once they were actually In Love.

Jim N.

i bet he is a eunuch

Jim N.

all of his children are fake cyborgs, made from the dirt on his property and some electric legos

Sara S.

Maybe that is why he is certain he is not the father of that poor bastard child.

Jim N.

ok is this enough? can we post? should i post it? i'm tired of typing and want to eat cheesy bread

Sara S.

If they were cyborgs, that would be proof of paternity.

Jim N.

oh fuck it is only 4:19.

$
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