Disney's Middle Finger To DeSantis Was A Love Note To Lawyers

Today I'd like to thank Gov. Ron DeSantis, Mickey Mouse, and Elon Musk. Yes, each of them is terrible in his own special way. And yet if Musk were just a little bit quicker on the draw, he'd have already flushed the remains of Twitter down his stupid sink, depriving the lawyers who hang out all day on that cursed platform one last hurrah courtesy of Governor Ron and the Mouse. Truly, it takes a village!

I'm speaking of course about the radioactive swamp rodent which just lurched out of the muck to bite Florida's dumpy Trump knockoff governor in the ass. And the fact that he used what is essentially a law school hazing ritual to do it is ... OH, GOD, IT'S SO PERFECT.

WE WROTE MORE THAN ONE POST ABOUT A THING! Ron DeSantis Picks Fight With Mouse. Loses Again!

Let's back up a moment, shall we?

A year ago, when Ron DeSantis was just a baby presidential wannabe, he passed his filthy "Don't Say Gay" bill to banish LGBTQ+ people from public life and culture war himself into the White House. After doing fuck all for months, and when it was too late to stop it, then-Disney CEO Bob Chapek finally offered tepid criticism, expressing his hope that the statute would be "repealed by the legislature or struck down in the courts." He also vowed to halt corporate political donations in the state, at which point all hell broke loose, with DeSantis vowing revenge and Fox accusing the company of doing hate crimes to poor Ron.

THE PREVIOUSLIES! Florida Passes 'Don't Say Gay' Bill, Now Let Those Lawsuits Fly!

FL Gov Ron DeSantis Threatens To Break Mickey Mouse's Legs Over Criticism Of 'Don't Say Gay' Law

Why Is Disney Hate-Criming Poor Ron DeSantis With Its Gay Agenda?

"They have no right to criticize legislation by duly elected legislators that are passing common sense legislation,” Lieutenant Governor Jeanette Nuñez whined to Laura Ingraham. “To criticize and to threaten! Governor DeSantis and I won’t stand for it.”

So Dumpy Ron and his pals in the Legislature decided to stick it to the Mouse by repealing a special tax district which allowed Disney to operate its own local government and not rely on the state of Florida to pick up the trash and keep the grass in the median strip perfectly manicured to ensure the tourists that they are in the happiest place on earth.

The plan to abolish Reedy Creek Improvement District, the 25,000 acre special tax area encompassing parts of Orange and Osceola counties, is of dubious legality, and is projected to cost Florida taxpayers hundreds of millions of dollars. But that didn't stop The Dumpster and his Lil Dumpies from ramming it through.

But the little mice in the Magic Kingdom saw Ron's white boots coming a mile off. So they got all their lawyers together and figured out a way to make sure that Dumpsterella never did get to the ball. Thus on February 8, the outgoing board of the Reedy Creek Improvement District met and passed a Declaration of Restrictive Covenants giving most of its power back to Disney, thwarting DeSantis's plan to put his own people in charge.

But the way they did it was HILARIOUS.

disney cinderella GIFGiphy

Because if you went to law school, in your first year property class you learned about the Rule Against Perpetuities, and you probably hated it. I will spare you the details of the Duke of Norfolk's Case from 1682, and just tell you that the common law strongly disfavors tying up property indefinitely and, to an even greater extent, lack of clarity over ownership. So generally speaking, you can't say, "I leave my house to my eldest son when he reaches the age of 25, and then to his eldest son when he reaches 25, and then to his eldest son when he reaches 25, and then to his eldest son when he reaches 25, forever and ever." There's just way too much that could go wrong: Maybe your children don't have babies; Maybe they only have girls; Maybe they have triplets and there's no oldest child with a clear claim; Maybe your descendants emigrate and the property falls into disrepair with no owner; Maybe you die while your child is a minor and can't take title. Whatever. The point is, the government wants to collect taxes, and it would very much like to know who is on the hook for the bill, so it's not going to let you make a mess of the title because you're an idiot who can't draft a document.

Enter the Rule Against Perpetuities, which has been modified or repealed lots of places, but generally says something like this: No unvested property interest is good unless it must vest, if at all, not later than 21 years after some life in being at the creation of the interest.

Vesting means ownership. So, in plain English, the longest you can tie up title is 21 years past the lifespan of someone living at the time the document is signed. So you can say, "I leave this house to my wife, and then, upon her death, to any child we have who has reached the age of 21." Or if you're a lawyer for Disney and a real weisenheimer, you can say something like this:

This Declaration shall be deemed effective as of the Effective Date and continue to be effective in perpetuity unless all or certain portions of the provisions of this Declaration are expressly terminated as provided elsewhere herein; provided, however, that if the perpetual term of this Declaration is deemed to violate the “Rule Against Perpetuities,” or any similar law or rule, this Declaration shall continue in effect until twenty one (21) years after the death of the last survivor of the descendants of King Charles III, King of England living as of the date of this Declaration.

That's right, bitches! They said, "We're taking back control of this board forever. And if DeSantis and his goons go and change Florida law so that this is deemed to violate the Rule Against Perpetuities, then fine, we'll peg this document to the lives of King Charles's five grandchildren."

So in case you didn't catch that ... Disney staked its claim to the Magic Kingdom on a LITERAL PRINCESS, since the youngest of Charles's descendants born at the time of this Declaration is Harry and Meghan's daughter Princess Lilibet Diana Mountbatten-Windsor, the only member of the British Royal Family born in America.

When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are, anything your heart desires, will come to you.

Even if you're a lawyer.


[Orlando Sentinel / CNN / Reuters]

Catch Liz Dye on Opening Arguments podcast.

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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