Do Not F*cking Tell Us To Calm Down

Since the draft of Justice Samuel Alito's kick in the crotch to American woman was leaked to Politico on Monday night, people who view themselves as sensible centrists have gone to great pains to assure us that no more blows will be forthcoming. Sure, we might be forced to carry our rapists' babies, but nothing else bad will happen.

They won't come for our birth control, we are promised, because that would be wildly unpopular. Don't be ridiculous, gay marriage is settled law, no one is going to re-criminalize gay sex. And quit hyperventilating about interracial marriage, they admonish us, noting that Alito goes to great lengths to differentiate between abortion, which takes "a life," and gay marriage, which is merely disgusting and sinful. At least according to filthy bigots like himself.

And if you are one of those people belittling the fear gripping women and LGBTQ+ people today, may we invite you cordially to FUCK RIGHT OFF.

Because Alito's holding is premised on the belief that there's no fundamental right to privacy and that "unenumerated rights" not mentioned in the Constitution are just a made up thing. The logical extension of this argument is that there is no constitutional right to marry a partner of our own choosing, something which has been prohibited by the state for a lot longer than abortion. So what these assurances boil down to, other than a patronizing pat on the head, is a promise that Republicans will not use the power which they have finally amassed after decades of desperately trying to grasp it. Having pulled that sword out of the stone, they will forbear to use it to stab us in the necks.

"Even if Griswold v. Connecticut were overturned, making it once again legal to ban contraception, that throws it back to the states, and where is the political constituency for state legislatures passing a ban?" scoffs the Washington Post's Megan McArdle.

Which is, quite frankly, so naive as to be offensive. We have witnessed Republicans seize power through aggressive gerrymanders and shredding norms. From Mitch McConnell blocking Merrick Garland and ditching the filibuster for Neil Gorsuch, to the almost blanket refusal of Republicans to impeach their president for trying to blackmail a foreign leader for dirt on his opponent and then fomenting an insurrection, Republicans have shown us that there is literally nothing they won't do to maintain their grip on power. They will pivot seamlessly from complaining that the House January 6 Select Committee is an illegal, partisan usurpation of law enforcement authority to wall-to-wall public hearings on some laptop supposedly belonging to the president's dipshit son.

We are talking about politicians, many of whom are lawyers trained at the best universities, who pretended that John Eastman's act of public wanking re: the vice president's ability to unilaterally reject electoral votes was very serious legal theory. Because masturbation remains legal, at least for men.

Just yesterday Texas Governor Greg Abbott told some wingnut radio host that the death of Roe has inspired him to challenge more laws he doesn't like, such as the one guaranteeing a public school education to children of undocumented immigrants.

"Texas already long ago sued the federal government about having to incur the costs of the education program, in a case called Plyler v. Doe," he said, according to the Austin American-Statesman. "And the Supreme Court ruled against us on the issue about denying, or let's say Texas having to bear that burden. I think we will resurrect that case and challenge this issue again, because the expenses are extraordinary and the times are different than when Plyler v. Doe was issued many decades ago."

That would be an explicit acknowledgment that the right wing in this country intends to challenge every precedent protecting the poor, and the brown, and the female, and the LGBTQ+ people they despise.

Right this very minute states are banning popular forms of birth control, such as IUDs, because they block implantation of a fertilized egg and are thus considered abortifacients. So maybe those people rolling their eyes and saying we should quit getting our panties in a bunch over some nightmare future where birth control is illegal should shut the fuck up forever. Women marched in January of 2017 because we knew this day was coming, and we are more than capable of sussing out what is a true threat to our safety having walked around in these female bodies every day of our lives, thankyouverymuch.

Bad things are going to happen. Bad things are already here. So please do not tell us that everything is going to be fine and we should calm down! We are pissed, and we are scared, and we need to stay that way, probably for another 20 years.

It sucks. It's real. Get ready.

EDIT: OMG Megan McCardle is still talking.

Who feels better now? Oh, nobody? Right.

[Austin American-Statesman]

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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