rudy giuliani wow GIF

Have you been following the twisting tale of Rudy Giuliani going back to his hotel room with the lady he thought was a young pretty reporter who wanted to see his Little Rudy, but just as it appeared things were about to go down, Borat ran into the room like "PUT DOWN YOUR CHRAM" and shouted that she was 15 and therefore too old for him?

HERE COME THE EXCUSES.

HE WAS JUST TUCKING IN HIS SHIRT, YOU GUYS.


You know how it is when your shirt is untucked. You lie down all the way on the bed after putting your hand on the lady reporter's butt (at least according to reports we've read of the scene in the moviefilm, we haven't seen it), instead of going into the nice bathroom the hotel lovingly provided for you in your suite, and that's how you tuck in your shirt.

Rudy continued making excuses in yet another interview with the Daily Beast:

"I had to take off the electronic equipment," Giuliani said in a radio interview on Wednesday. "And when the electronic equipment came off, some of it was in the back and my shirt came a little out, although my clothes were entirely on. I leaned back, and I tucked my shirt in, and at that point, at that point, they have this picture they take which looks doctored, but in any event, I'm tucking my shirt in. I assure you that's all I was doing."

Had to take off the electronic equipment to do what, Rudy? Because according to reports, the scene shows you with your hand on the lady's butt and asking for her number. Were you taking off the equipment and then tucking in your shirt, hoping to at some point show the lady your chram?

Oh maybe he had to take off his equipment and lie down on the bed and dramatically re-tuck in his shirt for PRAYING purposes, maybe that was it:

"At one point she explained to me some problems she had. I actually prayed with her," he said. "And then I had to leave. I had my jacket on. I was fully clothed at all times."

Well yeah, because Borat busted into the room and told him to put down his dick and that the lady was 15 and therefore too old for him, after which Borat chased him down the hall and castigated him for leaving the hotel without getting a golden shower, which would disappoint his boss Donald Trump.

All of this leads us to ask: If that is indeed how Rudy Giuliani tucks in shirts — for praying purposes, obviously — is he also one of those people who, when he goes to the bathroom, even in public, pulls his pants all the way down around his ankles so he can pee, even if he's at a urinal at a Yankees game? Is that how Rudy Giuliani pees?

And after he finishes, does he go find the nearest bed so he can lie all the way down and tuck his shirt in, using the nearest lady's butt, for balance, of course?

Does he do this even when he's in Ukraine meeting with politicians who have been assessed to have ties to the Kremlin to get fake dirt on Hunter Biden, at the exact same as Donald Trump is being impeached for trying to extort the Ukrainian president for fake dirt on Hunter Biden? Are his Russian spy sources like "Rudy what are you DOING? Put down your chram!" but then Rudy is like "NO DON'T WORRY, I'M JUST TUCKING IN MY SHIRT"?

We are just curious.

Roodles the Clown from Clown Town continued:

Oh definitely, we are just pretty sure the Deep State is colluding on a witch hunt with its most vital asset, Sacha Baron Cohen, to take down the great amateur detective Rudy Giuliani, in order to protect the Ukrainian laptop secrets of Hunter Biden. That has to be it.

More from the Daily Beast:

"Now let me tell you why I know this is a hit job that happens because, it's not an accident that it happens that I turn in all this evidence on their prince and darling Joe Biden, who's one of the biggest crooks in the last thirty years, and since I have the courage to say that, I'm the target," he continued ...

Oh Rudy, PUT DOWN YOUR CHRAM, and by that we mean he really needs to stop jerking himself off to this fake-ass story Russian spies gave him about Joe Biden and laptops and whatnot.

Anyway, it's almost as if he thinks we're not going to see this video for ourselves. Tomorrow on Amazon Prime, to be specific.

So you know what you're doing Friday night!

Send young children out of the room when the Rudy scene happens, because NSFW, allegedly.

[The Daily Beast]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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