All right, kids, today is a day you are allowed to put adult liquors in your coffee, because we are going to be a while. The vote to impeach Donald Trump will happen in the House of Representatives today, or maybe tonight, or possibly tomorrow, depending on how long Republicans use stupid parliamentary procedures to drag it out, and depending on how much non-parliamentary pizza Matt Gaetz orders to distract from the proceedings.

As we understand it, there will be six hours of debate, and then a vote. Theoretically. LOL.

In this thread, we will bring you updates from the debates, and also just funny cat videos we find on the internet, and also maybe occasionally analysis, like as if LOL.

We will say, though, that with all the Republican senators telegraphing and emailing and screaming out loud that they plan to violate the oath they will take to be impartial jurors, we are fully in support of the growing chorus suggesting that today the House should impeach, and then Nancy Pelosi should hold on to the impeachment articles -- she doesn't have to just hand them over! -- until it is guaranteed that Donald Trump get a real trial in the Senate. Here's a link where Democratic Senator Chris Van Hollen talks about it, and here's Charlie Sykes talking about how it would work.

Whatever happens, welcome to the worst day of Donald Trump's presidency, perhaps his life -- so far.

And they say there are no Christmas miracles!

This is only the third time this has happened in America, so we're makin' history today. (Nixon was not impeached.)

Here's a livestream of the proceedings.



Watch live: House votes on articles of impeachment against Trump www.youtube.com


8:53: Good morning! The proceedings will get going before long, but you should know that Donald Trump is REAL PROUD of that illiterate grammar-free bender of a letter he sent to Nancy Pelosi.

Uh huh. And he lied right there at the end, because if he's opening his mouth, he's lying.

Here's a link for the Trump tweet above, just in case it gets eaten, because that's a thing that happens on this internet platform.

9:04: MSNBC reporter says there'll be an hour of debate before the six hours of debate, in order to open debate, because oh God Congress is so tedious. Also reports that the Republicans really want to push this into the night so that they can say Democrats did IMPEACHMENT AFTER DARK #XXX, which is somehow different from impeachment during day.

Want to hear something so surprising? You will be SHOCK! Tulsi Gabbard may or may not vote for impeachment, and is instead calling for censure. You know, because she's worried about getting re-elected, just kidding she's not running for her House seat again, so let's just say it's because deep down she's a Trump supporter and leave it at that.

9:12: Republicans begin the day by delaying the inevitable with a floor vote just to adjourn and go home. Let's see if Tulsi votes for that one LOLOL.

9:19: SPOILER, the motion to adjourn has failed.

Meanwhile, Hugh Hewitt LOLOLOLOL has LOLOLOLOL some thoughts about how history will remember Trump's dumbass whine letter to Nancy Pelosi:

If you were in Hugh Hewitt's class and you remember him as a "good teacher," we really want to hear your story.

9:34: We're watching the Washington Post impeachment tracker, which tells us moron Stephanie Grisham told Fox News that the fact that Rep. Diana DeGette is presiding over the proceedings today is just evidence Nancy Pelosi is secretly embarrassed about all this.

There is often a congressman designated as speaker pro tempore over the proceedings in the House, you know, like when the speaker is REALLY BUSY. Perhaps on a day when they are impeaching the president. Perhaps.

Oh my god. Just the level of abject fucking moron that you have to be to serve in this administration will never stop amazing us.

9:46: Latest stupid motion by Republicans is to ... we dunno, impeach Adam Schiff and Jerry Nadler instead of Trump or something. Anyway, it fails. Republicans will stop acting like fuckin' children very soon, we are sure.

9:58: We have heard say on Twitter that Jim Jordan is actually wearing a jacket today, because of how he is on the House floor and he has to.

Probably got it at Big Lots.

10:09: Oh, the second motion by Republican idiots, intro'ed by Kevin McCarthy, was to CONDEMN Adam Schiff and Jerry Nadler.

Kevin McCarthy, a smart person, also said on Fox News this morning that maybe a future Congress will "expunge" this impeachment vote, because that is how #Constitution works.

10:12: OK, now we move to the hour of debate on the rules that comes before the six hours of debate on the articles. Wheeeee!

10:19: Wingnut Rep. Tom Cole, ranking member on the House Rules Committee, is airing his grievances about the "Schiff Report," because did you know HEARSAY and that some of the things in the report are based on NEWS REPORTS? Everybody knows the news is fake!

10:36: We just want to say, as you hear from Democrats saying how somber they are today (and they are!) that it is very OK for you to be happy and not somber at all. The eleventy however many people in 600 cities who protested last night did not do so because SOMBER. We're impeaching the motherfucker for committing election-stealing crimes fucking again, because anybody who thought he wouldn't do it fucking again is a fucking idiot.

Hey, did you know the IG is testifying in the Senate again today? As Maddow or Chris Hayes or somebody joked last night, gotta give Fox News something to cover today! Also, Trump is going to do a Make America Impeached Again rally tonight, because why not.

10:40: Oh golly gee, wingnut Rep. Debbie Lesko is so mad right now! Rigged! Unfair!

Hey, y'all see Debbie Lesko's moment of fame last night, when she attacked Democrats for their congressional actions, including Democrats who weren't in Congress at the time? Her excuse was she was looking at "the wrong thing," ayup, oops, DOY DOY DOY DOY DOY.

Also, reminder! Lesko just said something idiot about how NO REPUBLICANS voted for this. Please remember when they say such things that Republicans ejected one of their most stalwart conservative members, Justin Amash, from the party when he committed the sin of "integrity" by supporting impeachment.

10:55: Redneck ragehole Rep. Jody Hice rises to say god knows what, but part of it was READ TEH TRANSDJFJ;AKJSDKTIUJPICCITT!! because Republicans still want you to READ TEH ASJTK;;SKJDJFK;AJD;SJVCIJAFPSEJKM4!!11!

Ya know, in case you haven't!

10:57: Liz Cheney had a very good idea for an amendment earlier, that's right a VERY GOOD IDEA. She wanted people to have to stand up and say their impeachment vote, instead of just voting like normal people in Congress. She apparently is not aware of the fact that the way people vote is public record, hahaha just kidding, she wants to make commercials against swing district Democrats featuring them voting to HURT DONALD TRUMP'S FEELINGS.

10:59: Joe Kennedy rises to say a video clip to his children when they are older, like TODAY, DADDY WILL VOTE VERY SOMBERLY TO FUCK A CRIMINAL PRESIDENT THE FUCK UP. DADDY IS VERY SERIOUS BUSINESS ABOUT THIS. GO TO BED, YOU CRAZY KIDS!

11:02: You guys, this is the way Wonkette frames it AS A JOKE, but it's a not a fucking joke, none of this is a fucking joke.

Do they even know what they sound like?

11:12:

YEAH THEY ARE.

11:22: OK! They are voting on the rules. While we wait for the real debate to start, you need to read Liz's post on the Russian mob-aligned Ukrainian oligarch who sent Rudy Giuliani's chucklefuck a million dollars, NICE PEOPLE YOUR ALMOST IMPEACHED PRESIDENT HANGS OUT WITH!

11:30: Wanna hear something BONKERS? They are actually ahead of schedule for the day. Still gonna be here for one million years.

12:04: OK, the rules passed, surprise! (Not surprise.) Now the articles of impeachment are being read in advance of the debate, which will definitely happen soon, very!

12:08: And debate begins! It will be controlled by Jerry Nadler and Doug Collins, the congressman from "Hee Haw." Nancy Pelosi kicks off the proceedings by shouting "Are you ready for some FOOOOOOOOBALLLLLLLLL," or maybe that is Fake News.

Are we watching this right now? Or are we watching the last couple episodes of the most recent season of "Schitt's Creek"? You will never know!

Speaking of, have you guys seen the poster for the new and final season, which makes us feel ALL THE THINGS?

Uh yeah, anyway, "impeachment" and "Nancy Pelosi" and "important speech!"

12:14: Pelosi is wearing black today because she is in #somber for what is happening today.

12:17: Pelosi says Elijah Cummings is dancing with the angels now, but would be proud of the moral courage being shown by the entire Democratic caucus (except for the two non-moral couragers Jeff Van Drew and Collin Peterson).

Anyway, Doug Collins takes over to bitch and moan in a hillbilly accent.

12:19: Eek, Doug Collins used the fake word "irregardless," we are pretty sure that merits immediate expulsion from the Capitol, right?

12:20: Doug Collins and other lying Republicans like to lie and say a Democrat said we can't beat Trump if we don't impeach him. Literally no Democrat has ever said that.

12:26: Collins spent his time barking rapid-fire hick-isms about how it's UNKIND and IMPOLAH-TE to say Ukrainian Volodymyr Zelenskyy was not quite telling the truth when he said he felt no pressure. Republicans like to say this. It's fucking disgusting, because it doesn't take into account that OF COURSE Zelenskyy would say that, because Russians are literally murdering his people right now, and he can't do this without American help. And under this criminal American president, that means he must suck it up and try not to piss said criminal American president off.

In other words, when Democrats say "yeah that's bullshit," it's because we're doing Zelenskyy the courtesy of actually understanding the fucking situation he's in.

We wrote about this here.

12:30: Meanwhile over there in the Senate, did the FBI put WIRE TAPPS in Donald Trump's bottom?

Trump literally lied about that in the last 24 hours, and also in this thread.

12:32: Wingnut Jim Sensenbrenner repeats the lie that DEMOCRATS are trying to meddle in the 2020 election, by impeaching Trump. Just remember, whatever a Republican says, you can always assume the opposite is true and ask questions later. You'll never be factcheck wrong.

12:41: One fun feature of this debate is how every time a Republican finishes talking, Jerry Nadler takes a second to call them an idiot before yielding to a Democrat.

Doug Collins is trying to do this too, but his IQ is "Georgia farm goat," so it doesn't work quite as well.

12:49: You guys, do you think he's watching?

12:54: Wingnut congressman from Georgia gets up to say this is a "coup," but he says it in rural Georgia-ese, so it was "CEWWWWWWWWWWWW." Also something something mainstream media something something we don't know, we forgot.

1:03: Some idiot from some unpaved road just whined about the Mueller investigation costing taxpayers. At the end of his time, Jerry Nadler reminded everyone that once the government recovered so much money from SO MANY TRUMP CRIMINALS, the Mueller investigation was actually a net positive for taxpayers, ACTUALLY.

We are just going to liveblog Nadler calling Republicans idiots to their faces, it is the fun part.

1:11: Wingnut Rep. John Rutherford of Florida says Russia wanted to sow discord in America, therefore because Democrats insist on doing DISCORD by investigating and impeaching the criminal the Kremlin installed in office, DEMOCRATS are the real Russia-doers!

1:13: Hakeem Jeffries with a very good response to GOP whining about impeachment being DIVISIVE. Jeffries says what this is is clarifying. Just like it was clarifying when we got rid of slavery and Jim Crow, even though (probably, we are just guessing) some GOP southern reps' granddads were VERY MAD about that and thought it was DIVISIVE.

We bet that pissed off some Republicans right then. "IS HE SAYING WE ARE JUST LIKE?!" Well, um, yeah, kind of.

1:19: YEW GUYS! IT IS CLAY HIGGINS, WHO WOULD LIKE STILL TO KNOW WHAAAAAAAAAAAR BOXES?

HE IS VAH-RRRRRRRY UPSET! HE BROUGHT A PICTURE!

HIS PICTURE IS OF THE RED PARTS OF 'MuH-RICA, WHAR THE WHITE PEOPLE LIVE -- FIVE PER SQUARE MILE -- WHO LUUUUUUUVE DONALD TRUMP, AND WHOSE VOTES HE THINKS SHOULD MATTER MORE THAN THE BLUE SPOTS, WHERE THE ACTUAL PEOPLE LIVE!

HE SAYS SOCIALISTS WHO TAKE THE UNBORN BABIES ARE DOIN' THIS TO DONALD TRUMP!

WHHHHAAAAAAAAAR BOXES?

WHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAR??????????????????????

1:26: Doug Collins just literally bragged about minority women participation in Georgia elections, which is cute and gross because of how his buddy Brian Kemp did everything he could to keep black people from voting in the last Georgia election, which helped him steal the governor's mansion from Stacey Abrams.

Also when GOP idiots bring up that Ukraine got the aid, it must be pointed out that they STILL HAVEN'T GOTTEN ALL THE AID.

1:29: Wingnut Utah idiot Chris Stewart (R-We Hate Him) doing that thing where he chinless-ly whines that Dems are doing this because they HATE Trump supporters and think they're SO STUPID and they're just trying to take away their rights to elect presidents (with a minority of the vote based on Russia and a glitch called the Electoral College).

No, we're doing this because he's a fucking criminal. The fact that we hate him and we hate Chris Stewart is just gravy.

Stewart also whined something about how we just want to make Hillary president, at which point Nadler cut in to remind Dumbfuck from Utah that if Trump is impeached and removed, Mike Pence will be president. Not Hillary.

1:38: Wingnut NC Rep. David Rouzer says it's INDISFEAUTIFUL that Trump is innocent, barks a lot of country words about the "Russia hoax" being disproven (it wasn't) and goes over his time by about a minute, even though they were yelling "your time has expired" at him.

Sometimes Fox News-infected idiots just get stuck talkin', we guess, cain't stop won't stop.

1:43: HAY!

YEW KNOW HOW CLAY "WHAR BOXES" HIGGINS BRUNG UP THERE A MAP SHOWIN' ALL THE RED COUNTIES WHAT VOTED FOR DONALD TRUMP, WHAR VERY FEW PEOPLE ACTUALLY LIVE?

This is a good and important map, in response to THE MAP WHAT CLAY "WHAR BOXES" HIGGINS BRUNG UP THERE:

1:48: Wingnut Rep. Blaine Leutkemeyer says the charges against Trump -- all of which are proven facts -- are "Stalinistic."

Ayup.

1:51: Oh cool, Doug Collins thought it would be a good idea to let Steve King, a Nazi, comment on the "Democrat coverup," you betcha, Steve King, a Nazi, is definitely helping your case.

1:56: Debbie Lesko, an idiot (see above), says she has spent HOURS reading ALL OF IT and she can tell you this impeachment is a SHAM because she read ALL OF IT.

So sayeth Debbie Lesko, an idiot (see above).

1:58: Can a Republican please cry?

We would be amused if a Republican legit started crying.

2:11: Oh, OK, according to some Georgia idiot, JESUS got more due process than Trump (false), so we guess Trump is just like Jesus now, or something.

2:17: Some Republican bitches and moans that they're wasting time doing 'peachment instead of doing LEGISLATING.

Jerry Nadler jumps in to remind the actual breathing idiot that the House has passed over 400 bills, and they are all sitting on Mitch McConnell's desk, because he refuses to do anything besides put 24-year-old unfuckable bigots in lifetime court appointments.

2:24: Hillary Clinton reacts to the actual White House source who told Brian Karem (above) that she threw the election so Democrats could impeach Trump.

Hi, Hillary! Glad to see you're watching the proceedings today! THE PLAN IS WORKING.

2:27: Republican idiot Guy Reschenthaler, a idiot, says he is a LAWYER and if he was a JUDGE, he would dismiss this case because THEY GOT NOTHIN'.

He also says Democrats are relying on the testimonies of "unnamed bureaucrats," because guess he forgot the names of Alexander Vindman and Fiona Hill and Bill Taylor and all the others.

Also Mick Mulvaney, who confessed Trump's crimes. And Rudy Giuliani, who has confessed Trump's crimes.

And Donald Trump, who has confessed Trump's crimes.

Jerry Nadler jumps in to note that he still hasn't heard a Republican actually defend Trump's behavior today, and that makes Doug Collins mad, SO Collins trills his tongue real fast and redneck-like like he is playing a Deliverance banjo with it.

At least that's what it sounded like.

2:34: Lying moron Rep. Bradley Byrne asserts that the whistleblower report has been discredited. Reminder that this is Politifact's Lie Of The Year.

2:36: Rep. Gwen Moore ON FIRE reading scripture to folks, FOR WHAT IS A MAN PROFITED, IF HE SHALL GAIN THE WHOLE WORLD AND LOSE HIS OWN SOUL?

She means the Republicans. You know, the empty-headed ones who keep saying "witch hunt" and literally do not have souls.

2:43: Mouthbreather Mike Kelly of Pennsylvania says there are GOOD DATES in December and BAD ONES. He 'splains:

Christmas: Good one.

Boston Tea Party: Also good one.

Pearl Harbor day: Bad one.

Trump getting impeached day: ALSO BAD ONE.

2:47: Wingnut Glenn Grothman is VERY WISCONSIN CHEESE UPSET because Democrats hate Trump for doing all the "good" things he does, like allowing charities to discriminate against gays and preventing aid money from going to organizations that perform abortions.

Jerry Nadler says ACTUALLY we don't hate anybody, SPEAK FOR YOURSELF, JERRY.

Wonkette owns the fact that we hate President Loudshits, but we understand why Democrats in Congress have to be nice right now.

2:55: Only 900 more hours of this!

This guy just took his turn to whine.

We're sure he told a cool story.

3:02: IMPEACHING. THE. MOTHERFUCKER.

Just like she said!

She said something about wanting her kids to know what she did today. Weird how Republicans aren't saying that very much, HUH.

3:04: Also impeaching the motherfucker!

Ayanna Pressley didn't get caught on tape saying that, but we bet she thought it.

Oh MAN, Doug Collins gets so mad like DING-A-LING-A-LING-A-LING! when Jerry Nadler points out that Republicans don't have a single fucking valid defense that doesn't involve outright lying for Trump's conduct. He just starts spinnin' like a country mouse that is married to its cousin, allegedly!

3:11: If you are tired of hearing Republicans lie and bellyache and lie and whine and lie and yell, here is a video of ridiculous animal noises. It's the same as the Republicans, but more charming.

Funniest Animal Sounds Compilation of 2018 | Funny Pet Videos www.youtube.com

3:22: YOU GUYS.

Bad news!

According to wingnut Rep. Chip Roy, a LADY in NEW YORK? Is going to be FORCED-ED to have an abortion today. By Planned Parenthood!

And all because we are impeaching Trump :(

YOU GUYS!

3:35: Hey, did y'all see Will Hurd just piss away what's left of his soul just then? That was sad, there used to be goodness in that guy.

3:37: Hahaha, Louie Gohmert is having a conniption.

He shrieks and wails and (SHOULD SMILE MORE) and says Dems are only doing impeachment to stop the Department of Justice from investigating the VERY REAL UKRAINE COLLUSION IN 2016, which has been called out SPECIFICALLY as Russian propaganda by none other than Trump's former NSC Russia advisor Fiona Hill, and has been confirmed by the US intel community.

Jerry Nadler responds that people spreading Russian propaganda on the House floor should probably STFU, and ooh that made Louie Gohmert MAD, so he came back and pointed his little weener pointer at Jerry Nadler while they gaveled him into silence.

If you look close, you can see Louie Gohmert's little weener pointer.

3:50: Democratic Rep. Earl Blumenauer goes ahead and says out loud the thing we mentioned at the top about how they need to impeach and then withhold the articles until they get a BLOOD OATH from the Senate that there will be a real trial there.

Then Nadler takes over after some idiot Republican, tired of their talking points, and debunks their dumbfucking lies one by one:

1. "NO QUID PRO QUO!" Except witnesses said there was and even Mick Mulvaney admitted it.

2. "UKRAINE DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THE HOLD ON THE AID!" Yes they did.

3. "BUT THE AID WAS RELEASED!" Yeah, when President Dipshit got caught.

Jerry Nadler gives the reins to Adam Schiff, who will talk as long as he'd fucking like, TYVM.

4:06: Schiff gives one of his great long speeches, and the Republicans' only response is WHAR WHISTLEBLOWER and their lies, which Jerry Nadler and Adam Schiff just debunked.

4:13: Hahahahahahahaha loser Ohio GOP rep just literally did a "moment of silence" for all the dumbfucking Trump voters Democrats are supposedly "trying to silence" with this impeachment.

Not gonna lie, we did not do the moment of silence, because we were laughing too hard.

4:19: And THEN moron Rep. Fred Keller DID BIBLE at the Democrats, quoting Jesus on the cross saying "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do."

Thus proving even further that the Orange Shitheel has become their Jesus.

How sad, for Jesus.

4:29: So basically the state of play is that Republicans think Trump is literally Jesus, which is weird, because who would want to worship a Jesus that had such an ugly face and bad skin?

Adam Schiff is calling Republicans idiots one by one.

Oh, and John Lewis was pretty awesome just now.

And we are pretty tired? So we are going to take a break from liveblogging or stop doing it completely. But don't worry, stick around, Wonkette will be covering this business the whole time. And at some point, Dok is doing to start a whole new liveblog!

So ... YEAH!

5:42: Yr Doktor Zoom is taking over the liveblooging duties, just in time for Doug Collins to start hooting about "focus groups" and stuff again. We would just like to point out that we have a lapful of cat at the moment, because some dastard stoled Thornton's legs.

5:48: The speeches continue. We're pretty sure we've heard every point that might be raised from here on in, unless maybe Republicans come up with some new things to which they can compare impeachment. Adam Schiff is once again slapping down the ridiculous notion that Donald Trump was merely demanding that Ukraine investigate "corruption."

5:52: Maxine Waters doesn't have enough time to list all the reasons Donald Trump should be impeached, so instead, she'll quote Maya Angelou: When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.

5:55: And Rep. Waters gets an ovation as she closes, leading Doug Collins to get snippy and reclaim his time. See what he did there?

5:58: Rep. Trent Kelly (R-Mississippi) just called the US diplomats and Trump appointees who testified in the Intelligence Committee hearings "swamp creatures," so that's a novel take, we guess.

6:02: Historian Joanne Freeman was just bowled over by some Twitter metrics:

6:06: Haw Haw, some Republican whose name I missed just said he would enumerate all of the high crimes and misdemeanors Donald Trump has committed, and then he just stood there in silence! They're doing performance art now, not to mention stealing Al Gore's "wanna see Al Gore do the Macarena?" joke from 20 years ago.

6:11: Well now they're just sending out character actors who played a southern congressman in some B movie:

Also, we got, from Rep. Doug LaMalfa (R-California), the ritual "not a democracy it's a REPUBLIC!"

6:19: Adam Schiff has been "reserving" a lot of his time, letting the Rs get their sadness and outrage and ... some wanker who just sobbed and said "the world is better because of Donald Trump."

What is Schiff saving that time for? It better be good!

6:23: Schiff is finally speaking, points out that none of the Republicans have attempted to defend what Donald Trump has done. That got some grumpy grumping from the R side. Doug Collins says Trump has already been proven absolutely right, so THERE.

6:25: Historian Kevin Kruse has a couple points to add, too:

And Adam Schiff is back to reserving the balance of his time. Maybe for a musical number?

6:30 Lee Zeldin (R-New York) got naughty, and called the impeachment a "total Schiff-show." Adam Schiff couldn't keep from giggling, and reserved the remainder of his time.

6:33: Brad Sherman (D-California) has a great voice. I would go to any movie for which he did the trailer. Say "In a world..." Rep. Sherman!

6:38: Bunch of Dems are simply having their written remarks in support of impeachment entered by unanimous consent. So we're moving along pretty efficiently.

Oh for Glob's sake, now it's Jim Jordan.

6:43: For somebody as full of shit as Jordan, there's very little new he has to say. Process, process, secret hearings, whistleblower (who he says worked for Joe Biden?), and Spying on Donald Trump. Blah blah blah.

6:48: Devin Nunes and his cow have arrived, and YES! Dems tried to get nude pictures of Donald Trump! And there he goes again with his bizarre description of the closed hearing as "bizarre," because that only happens in the Intelligence Committee whenever Congress is in session.

And he closes by calling for Democrats to be sent to reeducation camps until they learn to be useful members of society.

6:51: I yield one minute of my time to my ADD:

6:55: Joe Heck (D-Washington) is here to cry about America. I dunno, he's nice and all, but he always seems so intent on being Jimmy Stewart. Who, I would add, knew how to friggin' modulate his emotional tone.

6:59: Val Demings (D-Florida) explains that unless "habitual offenders" are held to account, they'll never stop it with the bad behavior. Applause for that speech!

7:00: FOUR MINUTES for Lynn Cheney? Good god, there is not enough alcohol.

7:04: Instead of listening to Cheney, I'm going to give you this fact-check on where Nunes got his stupid "nude pictures of Donald Trump" line.

7:13: Also, this happened today. Seems like a good joke to make on a Denver radio station. It's not like Colorado has ever had any mass shootings or anything.

7:16: Steve Scalise gets a full five minutes, and it's all empty nonsense. Not only do all Dems hate Donald Trump, they also hate every single one of the 63 million people who voted for him. Huge ovation for the forgotten Americans who are hated by the elitists.

7:25: Everybody is tired and cranky. After Scalise's little performance, Majority Leader Steny Hoyer (D-Maryland) is getting interrupted a lot, by groans from Rs and applause from Ds, and honestly, we think maybe the chamber should break out the nap mats.

7:38: Hoyer is making a strong summation of the case for impeachment. Invokes the history, for whatever it good it may do, of people who broke with their party and did the right thing: Margaret Chase Smith in rejecting Joe McCarthy, and Larry Hogan Sr, the Maryland Republican whose seat Hoyer now holds, in saying his conscience compelled him to support Nixon's impeachment. When Hogan died, Hoyer points out, every obituary led with that moment of courage. Not going to inspire any courage in this crop of R's, but it's a hell of a good speech.

7:47: Collins again: Donald Trump didn't have to testify, because he he doesn't have to prove anything. What if AH were to accuse every Democrat and every member of the press of something terrible? YEW DID IT! YEW DID IT! YEW DID IT! Well yew wouldn't have to prove your innocence, because this is AMERICA.

The Rs are eating it up and applauding every tired line we've heard all day. You want to talk about courage? Real courage is being a Republican bearing up under the oppression of this out of control Democrat process.

Now Kevin McCarthy triggers all the libs by saying Donald Truimp is still president, and he'll be president tomorrow, too.

7:50: McCarthy is aghast that Nancy Pelosi is forcing an impeachment vote "just hours before Christmas." Okay, that's one way to look at how a week is constructed 170+ hours, sure.

Also:

8:00: McCarthy has turned this into a Trump rally, and we don't cover those live.

8:05: Adam Schiff is ready to close. Some R asshole trying to shout him down, because the Leader is more important. Schiff says that as far as he can tell, the Republicans simply don't care about what happened in Ukraine, wonders what happened to Republicans that they no longer seem interested in curbing Russian power.

Reminds Republicans that Donald Trump won't be the last president, and that there may someday be a Democratic president they'll want to hold to account.

8:10: And the vote on the first article of impeachment is underway.

Also, LOL, well of course.

8:15: Historian Joanne Freeman, a scholar who knows her Hamilton:

8:23: How's this for petty? Vote count's nearly done; Article 1 has the 214 Yes votes needed to pass, but NPR Washington reporter Tim Mak notes:

8:27: Meanwhile, at the fascist rally tonight:

8:32: Don't get excited about the one Republican "yea" vote that was showing for a while on some screens; it's apparently gone now. Hit the wrong button or something?

Also, Profiles In Courage: Tulsi Gabbard has voted "Present."

8:35: Nancy Pelosi announces Article One has passed, and now they're voting on Article Two.

We should note that it is not yet the dead of night.

Also, lol:

8:40: Yeah, imagine that!

8:45: Nancy Pelosi will not have any of your horsing around, nor your shenanigans.

8:53: Article Two has been passed, and the motherfucker has been impeached already. House is recessed, and we are through! Thanks for following along with us, and remember, this little mommyblog (which has been with you nonstop for nearly 12 hours for this exercise in self-government today) depends on your donations to keep going.

Merry Impeachmas, everybody! BUY A HAT!


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Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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