Don't Let Your Dog Follow You To The Bathroom. Here Is What It Means! Tabs, Mon., Nov. 22, 2021
Welcome to Thanksgiving week! Commence arguing about canned cranberry sauce ... NOW.
Conservative "intellectual" Jonah Goldberg and his business partner Stephen Hayes quit Fox over Tucker Carlson's batshit special "Patriot Purge" about the poor, oppressed January 6 rioters who were corrupted by antifa, or the FBI, or aliens, or ... who the hell even knows. So, golf clap for Goldberg. But if the guy who made his name writing books like "Liberal Fascism" and "Suicide of the West" thinks he's getting a round of applause for finally hopping off the crazy train at this late juncture, he is sadly mistaken. (New York Times)
Over at Law.com, reporter Jacqueline Thomsen has a nice writeup of the conclusion of the civil case against the organizers of Charlottesville Unite the Right rally in 2017 which saw the murder of Heather Heyer when someone inspired by their violent rhetoric plowed his car into the crowd of counter protesters. The case went to the jury on Friday.
And in a depressing echo, someone drove an SUV into a Christmas parade last night in Waukeshaw. This country is fucked up. (Washington Post)
A New York Appellate judge refused to overturn the trial judge's ban on the New York Times publishing information gleaned from a dump of Project Veritas's attorney-client communications. Holy prior restraint, Batman! (Law & Crime)
Hello from Baltimore, where the cops suck A LOT, and so does Baltimore City State's Attorney Marilyn Mosby, who has literally tried a man named Keith Davis four times for the same 2015 murder despite no evidence linking him to it. Also the cops shot Davis when they were chasing him in connection with a robbery, which he also did not commit. (Baltimore Magazine)
And in case that doesn't piss you off enough, head on over to The Atlantic to read the indispensable Adam Serwer on the Rittenhouse debacle.
On a brighter note, those sumbitches that killed Ahmaud Arbery got some rough news on Friday when the judge said they couldn't claim they were effecting a legal citizens' arrest, since that would have to take place immediately after the crime. "We saw a black guy, and we assumed he was the one who broke into someone's house weeks ago" ain't gonna cut it. Defense attorneys were pissed, particularly that one lawyer who's been howling every five minutes that he needs a mistrial because there are too many Black pastors in the courtroom. I'll try to write it up for you later, because DELICIOUS! (WSBTV)
BREAKING: Donald Trump is a petty bitch, obsessed with enacting revenge upon his enemies, whatever it costs the Republican party. Money shot from the Journal 's hilarious article this weekend: That idiot is trying to get his former ambassador to Slovenia to drop out of the Alabama senate race and primary sitting Republican Gov. Kay Ivey. Ivey's sin was apparently being governor in July, 2020 when an independent state commission blocked him from holding a rally at USS Alabama Battleship Memorial Park. Yes, the former ambo has a name, but you don't care — she'll lose to that loon Mo Brooks or she'll lose to Kay Ivey, and then we can go back to pretending this person never existed. (WSJ)
"For those of you that weren't aware, I have jumped off the tour for the night and am headed to DC. I have a mtg at the WH tomorrow afternoon and then will be back tomorrow night," Stop the Steal organizer Amy Kremer texted fellow leaders of the sore loser movement on November 30, 2020. "Rest well. I'll make sure the President knows about the tour tomorrow!" Reporter Hunter Walker got his hands on metric shitton of texts that demonstrate that the organizers of the January 6 insurrection worked in lockstep with the White House. (Rolling Stone)
And on a lighter note, wingnut whisperer Zachary Petrizzo says Mike Lindell is planning to stage a protest outside the Fox studios in New York to tell them to stop bowing to the woke mob like a bunch of liberal cucks. It'll be a busy week for Lindell, since he's planning to wow 'em at SCOTUS by hand delivering his latest LOLsuit to overturn the election on Wednesday. How do you like them pillows!
Also, apparently Trump has a picture book which costs $230? You know, in case you want to remember what it was like to read that guy's insane goddamn tweets every day for four years.
Finally, I thought I'd give you links to what I'm cooking: Cranberry Maple Sauce, Pecan Tart (but with Smitten Kitchen tart crust, which is way better), Giant Pillow Dinner Rolls, Porchetta Style Turkey Breast, roasted butternut squash soup (you don't need a recipe, don't be silly), mashed potatoes (same). Why are half these recipes from 1999, you are wondering? Well, that's the year my husband and I shacked up and started hosting the holidays. No regrets!
Don't forget to hit the Wonkette Bazaar before the New Year, when Rebecca will be shutting down the shop for most of the first half of 2022! (Whaaaaaaaaaat?) Better get it while the getting is good!
Follow Liz Dye on Twitter!
Click the widget to keep your Wonkette ad-free and feisty. And if you're ordering from Amazon, use this link, because reasons.
Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.