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He's not swaying out of rhythm. Everyone else is.


Huh. So Donald Trump's great big maybe-scripted interview with Bishop Wayne T. Jackson, the pastor of Great Faith Ministries in Detroit, isn't going to air as originally scheduled. Trump was interviewed by Jackson in private before attending a service at the African-American megachurch last Saturday; Jackson's cable/streaming outlet, Impact Network, had announced on Facebook and Twitter that the interview would air Thursday, September 8. However, on Thursday, the network announced the interview had been rescheduled for Wednesday, September 14. Set your TiVos!

In a sure signal that the Impact Network and Donald Trump were made for each other, Impact Network senior vice president Terry Arnold said Thursday he was unaware of the "official statement" with the earlier date, and said "We never had a locked-in schedule."

After a script of the interview questions and answers written by Trump's campaign was leaked to the New York Times, Bishop Jackson said he would write some new questions, and denied the Trump campaign would have any hand in editing the interview.

“Mr. Trump will not have any oversight of the editing,” Jackson said last Friday in a Facebook video. “Our people will be editing, and we will get it on television as soon as possible to make sure that you and every one of us can hear his answers.”

The Detroit News notes that after the interview, Mr. Trump spoke briefly to the congregation, sharing effusive praise for Bishop Jackson and the "fantastic" interview:

“He is better than the people who do that professionally,” the New York businessman said. “... And I didn’t really know what I was getting into. I didn’t know. Is this going to be nice? Is this going to be wild? He’s a great gentleman and a very smart guy.”

While Mr. Arnold didn't give any reason for the delay in the broadcast, we can only assume the editing process needed a few technical tweaks to get the interview in shape for broadcast. What kind of tweaks? it would be irresponsible not to speculate! Our best guesses:

  • Digital editing to remove the audible pauses between each syllable when Trump says "Af-ri-can A-mer-i-can com-munity"
  • Multiple edits to remove "the" preceding each instance of "blacks."

  • CGI editing of early portions of interview to cover up Trump's nervously clutching arms of chair; removal of repeated requests that Jackson not mug him.
  • CGI and audio manipulation to dub in "African-Americans" instead of "you people," make Trump's lip movements match.
  • Removal of outburst in which Trump, unable to read teleprompter, screams "Fuck it! We'll do it live!"
  • Complete CGI reconstruction of portion of interview during which both Jackson and Trump shed their human form and are revealed to be Lizard People.
  • Extensive cuts to portions of interview in which Trump and Jackson, giggling hysterically, swap tips for fleecing the rubes.
  • Portion of interview where Trump gives thoughtful, cogent answer to complex question needs to be remixed to more closely resemble his usual word salad.
  • Restoration of original interview from complete re-dub in which Trump replaced with sexy shirtless man from Old Spice ads

We'll look for the full interview next week, and will not be the least bit surprised when it is replaced with a ten-minute loop of adorable Corgis walking on a treadmill:

Fantastic!

[Detroit News]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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