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Donald Rumsfeld On Facebook, Wants To Be On 'America's Next Top Model'

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Donald Rumsfeld's long career of public service is over and now he, like any retired grandparent/war criminal,spends a lot of time on The Facebook. For example: "I met Tyra Banks last night in Hollywood. She probably wouldn't have to twist my arm to be a guest judge on America's Next Top Model." Yeah, Donald Rumsfeld made a career out of making poor decisions in the Middle East and torturing people, but his true love is FASHION. Also: "Believe it or not I just got an iPad. Now I need my 13 year old grandson to show me how to work it." But Donald Rumsefeld isn't just Fashion Grandpa. He is Fashion Grandpa With a Dark Past. So he's posted a weird video Saddam Hussein gave him as a gift.


It's not like Donald Rumsfeld has a little box stashed away of love letters and little knickknacks from his torrid affair with Saddam Hussein and knows the exact date of each item he received from him or anything. (This video: female soldiers biting off the heads off snakes as a crowd cheers. Umm, thanks, Saddam!)

Fashion Grandpa really loves meeting all his new friends on The Facebook. His goodness!

Rumsfeld also posts "Rumsfeld Rules" like he's a more masculine Confucius or something. Rumsfeld Rule: Wait at least 30 minutes after eating before you waterboard.

Laaaaaaadies! They love Fashion Grandpa, oh yeah. They love him in their vaginas.

Oh yeah? What word was that? "Peace"? "Discretion"? "Scrutinize"? "Death"? [Facebook]

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Poor People Are Mad As Hell, And They're Not Going to Take It Anymore.

The Poor People's Campaign marched on Washington, and we were there!

Culture Wars
by Dominic Gwinn

Yesterday the new Poor People's Campaign, led by Rev. William Barber and Rev. Dr. Liz Theoharis, concluded 40 days of protest and civil disobedience with a rally on the National Mall. Building off of Rev. Martin Luther King Jr's original Poor People's Campaign 50 years ago, the new campaign is aimed at uniting labor leaders with activists to build a coalition of all marginalized people

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The police have clearly failed to stop the scourge of black kids selling water to thirsty people, so your average law-abiding, permit-respecting white lady has no choice but to take matters into her own (did we mention they were white?) hands. You might call her a busybody gone power mad or a simple tool of racist micoaggression, but we just call her "Permit Patty."

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