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We're pretty sure this is all going to end with Mitch McConnell and Donald Trump in a no holds barred cage match carried live on Pay-per-View. Because every time Mitch McConnell thinks he's going to sneak up and stab the American people in the back, Donald Trump goes on Twitter to shout, "I pledge to keep America safe from psychotic, knife-wielding turtles!"


Case in point.

Hellooooo! Mitch and Paul were counting on giving that 401(k) money to gazillionaires so they could trickle it down onto the little people! Did you not get the memo?

If you're a Big Gubmint Librul, and we are, you probably think that the tax laws should incentivize saving so that old people don't starve in the streets. Right now we encourage workers to sock away money for retirement by letting them use pre-tax dollars to fund their retirement through a 401(k). The money gets taxed coming out, when the retiree is likely in a lower tax bracket.

But if you're an asshole who read Ayn Rand your freshman year and never got over it, you think the government has no business telling people what to do. You're unbothered by old people starving in the streets. In fact, you probably shout, "Get a job, Grandma!" as you drive by in your Hummer. Luckily, the House and Senate are full of people who share your worldview.

Since they failed to destroy Obamacare outright, the pressure is on Republicans to pass their giant tax giveaway. They can't get 60 votes to overcome a potential filibuster, so they're relying on the budget reconciliation process, which only requires 50 votes, plus Jesus's favorite hypocrite Mike Pence to break the tie. But reconciliation has to be revenue-neutral, so Republicans are scrounging for cash so they can hand it over to America's Trumps without "costing" the government anything. This will magically generate 5% GDP growth, so we can go back to mining clean coal and manufacturing socks in North Carolina. Or something.

Lately, Republicans have been talking about reducing or eliminating the tax incentive to save through a 401(k). Sure, fewer people will save money for retirement without the ability to use pre-tax dollars. But Mitch McConnell can take all that extra tax revenue and hand it over to the superrich! And you can probably get that loon Rand Paul on board if you pitch it as freeing Americans from the Obama nannystate tyranny of using the tax code to encourage financial responsibility.

If only That Idiot in the White House had stayed off Twitter! The Republicans could have scooped up half a trillion dollars by 2020! The Koch brothers were counting on that money! But the Moron in Chief, who doesn't know a 401(k) from Formula 409, has laid down a marker for the gazillion rubes who follow him. So now Republicans can't even axe 401(k)s by sneaking something in five minutes before the vote. Sad!

Well played, Poppy. You finally did something right, even if it was totally unintentional.

Cage match, Wonkers! You heard it here first!

[New York Times]

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.

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