Trump Can't Have Greenland, So Denmark Can't Have Trump, NEENER NEENER!
Photoshoop by Wonkette

Donald Trump, with his characteristic sense of tact and diplomacy, abruptly announced on Twitter last night that he would cancel a planned trip to Denmark because the Danish prime minister said Greenland isn't for sale. Yes, that would be just days after Trump also said that while it might be fun to buy an autonomous Nordic territory, such a purchase wasn't the main reason for the planned September 2-3 visit to Denmark. And now it's only a matter of time until other nations' leaders announce parts of their countries aren't for sale either, in hopes of keeping Trump away.

Trump told the world of his latest snit in a pair of nutballs tweets Tuesday evening, thanking Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen for saving a lot of time and trouble by making clear Greenland isn't for sale:

God, he really thought it was going to happen. He really did.

Officials in both Denmark and Greenland had been calling the very idea ridiculous since it surfaced last week, and If you want to get all technical about it, the US purchasing Greenland wasn't even on the official agenda for the trip.

Mr. Trump was scheduled to visit Copenhagen on Sept. 2 and 3, after being invited by Queen Margrethe II. The president was expected to participate in a series of bilateral meetings and meet with business leaders, and Ms. Frederiksen had underscored the importance of the session, calling the United States "Denmark's most important and strongest ally in NATO."

Trump only confirmed on Sunday that he was thinking of acquiring Greenland, which has its own government and stuff but is also a Danish possession that relies on economic subsidies from Denmark. But he said the September trip wasn't about obtaining another island surrounded by very big water, don't be silly.

"Well, a lot of things can be done," Mr. Trump said on Sunday. "Essentially, it's a large real estate deal" [...]

"We may be going to Denmark, but not for this reason at all," he said, and claimed again over the weekend that the purchase was not "No. 1 on the burner." He also expressed hesitation about the trip, noting that "I'm supposed to be going there."

Now, sure, the tweet canceling the meeting sure made it sound like the real reason for the trip was grabbing Greenland, but let's remember this is Donald Trump, a guy who doesn't think anything through, and who casually lies about everything, including his own reasons for getting up and going to the toilet. Maybe he canceled the trip because of the Greenland thing. Or maybe he just hated the idea of having to go visit boring "allies" instead of a fun dictator who loves him, and the Greenland thing made an interesting excuse. Or MAYBE he caught wind that Barack Obama is going to Denmark in a few weeks, and just didn't feel up to comparing crowd sizes.

In Denmark, lawmakers and former government officials were happy to call Trump a petulant numbnuts.

"It's an insult from a close friend and ally," Michael Aastrup Jensen, a member of the Danish parliament with the influential center-right Venstre party, told The Washington Post. He said Trump's interest in purchasing Greenland took the country by surprise and was initially widely considered to be a joke, before Danes realized the full extent of "this disaster."

Jensen said Danish lawmakers felt misled and "appalled" by the president, who "lacks even basic diplomatic skills," he said. "There was no word [ahead of time] about: 'I want to buy Greenland and that's why I'm coming.'" [...]

Center-right lawmaker Jensen was more explicit, calling the move "an insult to the royal house."

Other lawmakers cited by Danish media outlets questioned if the president was still welcome in the country.

Trump's behavior reminded him of "a spoiled child," Søren Espersen, foreign affairs spokesman for the right-wing populist Danish People's Party, told Danish newspaper Politiken.

"Trump lives on another planet. Self-sufficient and disrespectful," wrote Pernille Skipper, a left-wing Danish politician, on Twitter.

Well look, you losers, Trump called your little nothing of a NATO member country "special" and even said the people were "incredible," isn't that enough? Now he's going to have to think up a nickname for you. It will have to be about those big dogs, because damned if Trump would know enough Shakespeare to make a Hamlet joke.

For that matter, Trump may even have no choice but to go back on his promise not to pave stupid Greenland and put up hotels, or at least tweet a photoshopped image of one.

Thank goodness some people still respect the "president" enough to tell him his whims are a brilliant negotiating strategy. Fox host Pete Hegseth, perhaps hoping to be appointed Potentate of the Polar Territories, bantered about the cancellation with Fox Business host Trish Regan, who giggle-praised the Great Man for having "called out" Fredricksen's refusal to sell a territory that was never for sale. Quoth Hegseth,

It's one of these big, bold ideas that no one would have thought of, that the modern era mostly bats aside and says would never happen [...] But, hey, maybe it's just an initial rebuff. Maybe it's part of their negotiations: "Hey, we want a better price for Greenland." You never know.

Regan added maybe the Danish Prime Minister might yet come to her senses and do a deal: "OK, well, you know, she is welcome back when she is ready to negotiate."

And finally, a moment of embarrassed silence for Carla Sands, the US ambassador to Denmark, who just hours before Trump's impulsive cancellation tweeted that All Of Denmark was looking forward to his visit:

This morning, Ambassador Sands very quickly explained that Denmark is ready for Trump's visit, whenever he deigns to show up "in the future to discuss the many important issues in our strong bilateral relationship." Nice catch, Ambassador!

[Guardian / NYT / WaPo / Photoshoop based on image by Ansgar Walk, Creative Commons license 3.0]

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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